V returns to TV on ABC!

People my age were enthralled when the V miniseries aired years ago on TV. It was the talk of the playground, lizards hidden under human skin. The Nazi occupation allegories flew right over our heads, we just liked the lizards, rat eating, people eating, and fake skin (you could make fake skin yourself thanks to a thin coat of elmer’s glue!) V the Final Battle was enough of a conclusion for us (but creator Kenneth Johnson had nothing to do with it or the short-lived tv series) as we were kids, but watching it years later I was amazed by how goofy it was (Star Child – WTF???)

Kenneth Johnson came out with a book earlier in the year that wrapped things up rather nicely.

Now V will be returning, except Kenneth Johnson will have nothing to do with it and new creator Scott Peters will ignore all the allegories! Ummm… okay. Whatever. More info here:

“V,” the 1980s miniseries about alien lizards visiting Earth, will invade primetime once again.

ABC is developing a new adaptation of the franchise — which spawned a second mini and TV spinoff — written by “The 4400” co-creator/exec producer Scott Peters.

“Whenever I mention ‘V’ to anybody, they still have a lot of good memories about the original movie and series,” Peters said. “Everybody has that imagery of their uniforms, or the visitor eating a hamster. It’s a science fiction icon and too good to pass up.”

The original “V” served as an allegory for the Holocaust and Nazi Germany. Peters said he won’t duplicate that concept, except that the new “V” will still focus on what happens when the masses have blind faith in their leaders.

In this case, the new “V” will center on Erica Evans, a Homeland Security agent with an aimless son who’s got problems. When the aliens arrive, her son gloms on to them — causing tension within the family. As in the original “V,” several storylines will unfold simultaneously.

But even without the same storyline, the original “V’s” bones will remain: As in the ’80s version, the show will open with an enormous army of spaceships hovering over the world’s major cities. The visitors say they’ve come to help Earth, but their motives are nefarious (in the original, they wanted to steal the world’s water supply).

Original “V” writer-producer-director Kenneth Johnson recently attempted to revive “V” as “V: The Second Generation” but is not involved in the Peters version.

V

Theme Tweaking…

Well, we will probably stick with this theme for the blog for a while. I need to do a few minor tweaks, like having links be a different color so you know they are there, and maybe increasing the font size. Then I can add things to the sidebar like the most popular posts, comments, block ad spaces, feeds from similar blogs, and lots of pictures of hot chicks.

Especially the hot chicks

Dragonball Z Trailer Out

This looks even more terrible than I thought. April 3rd will be a dark day of hilarity!

Trailer Here

Expect a review here, despite me knowing nothing about Dragonball Z (much like the writers of this film, it seems!)
The trailer is also a liar, there was a previous live action film from China. It was also terrible.

Starring Justin Chatwin as Goku, James Marsters as Piccolo, Emmy Rossum as Bulma, Chow Yun-Fat as Master Roshi, Jamie Chung as Chi Chi, and Park Joon as Yamcha
Produced by Steve Chow, Directed by James Wong
Original Dragonball Z article

Cool Dimension

Cool Dimension (Review)

Cool Dimension

aka Kûru dimenshon

2006
Directed by Ishii Yoshikazu
Written by Sato Midori and Yamamoto Norihisa

Three sexy Japanese girls with guns and leather costumes kill a bunch of people. You’d think that would make a good film, and you’d be wrong! I don’t know how they did it, but they managed to squeeze almost the entire life out of a picture that should have been fun and over the top. Instead, it is a constant bore, more depressing than a kitten with AIDS, and somehow manages to make the brisk 70 minute running time feel like four hours. The general plot is some sort of f-ed up version of Charlie’s Angels, except they just kill people and sit around in various vaguely sexual poses with the Bosley character. Yeah.

One major problem is the entire characterization effort is put into depressing voiceovers while shots of the character looking glazed over, bored, and brain dead are on screen. The ramblings of the actresses would have been rejected on even the crappiest LiveJournal pages, their introspection flatter than a piece of paper. None of the characters have any real motivations or personalities, and much acting consists of staring forward or remaining completely still. We don’t know anything about the girls when the movie starts, and by the end, we still don’t know anything. Take a counter example, the movie Yo-Yo Girl Cop where we get actual characterization by the actresses acting and not doing voiceovers, actual backstories for the characters, and even a peppy soundtrack (which is still neat if you discount the songs by the actresses and just focus on the theme.) The theme here sounds like it was ripped from an experimental German black and white film from the 1950’s that has a gong banging every ten seconds or so. Not something that people will be humming in the car.

Shiori (Yoko Mitsuya) – The leader/head assassin of team Cool Dimension. For some reason wears red leather as opposed to black. Has the special ability to avoid gunshots if she completes a back flip. Yoko Mitsuya is a former child model turned actress. Shot in the back.
Mika (Mitsuho Otani) – The lesbian member of team Cool Dimension. But not lesbian enough for it to be interesting. In fact, she may not be a lesbian but just a victim of bad writing. Killed by a bunch of rival female assassins brought in by Junko.
Junko (Mika Shigeizumi) – Crazy evil member of team Cool Dimension. Why is she evil? Why not, she just is. Mika Shigeizumi must have had eyelid surgery, giving her eyes some bug-eyed look that enhances her character’s supposed insanity. The best acting in the film was done by surgery she had years earlier. Killed by Shiori.
Kurokawa (Kenichi Endo) – The Bosley character to his trio of creepy angels, Kurokawa spends most of the film in various disturbing still-life embraces with one to all of his charges. He sets off an aura of creepiness, and that was before I recognized him from Visitor Q. No dead body sex here, but Kenichi Endo is a regular fixture in Takashi Miike films.
Charlie (CGI/??? Voice) – I guess his name is Charlie, they never give it, but he gives the orders to the teams and organizes the assassination missions for the Cool Dimension team. Maybe he is Mr. Cool, or Mr. Dimension. Beside a brief appearance in the beginning, he never factors in again and is completely forgotten. It’s just that kind of movie to not bother with explaining anything.
Haruki Muraoka – Target of the group, wife was killed by corrupt politician Mr. Tsuyama ten years prior, and his daughter was injured and hidden. Killed by Junko.

Sharks in Venice

Sharks in Venice (aka Shark in Venice) is the next shark film from Nu Image, the company that gave us Shark Attack 3: Megalodon and Raging Sharks.

Stars Steven Baldwin and Vanessa Johansson, both actors picked so their last names can be printed huge on the DVD box:
Sharks in Venice

Trailer:

Expect this to show up on SciFi Channel one day! I doesn’t come out in the US until January, but has been released in other countries (hint hint!)

Early reports express disappointment, complaining that usual complaint that all the good footage is in the trailer. The rest of the runtime is eaten up (haw) by the treasure plot. Meh. I’ll probably still see this, though, because I have a need to hurt myself. Better this than cutting myself and writing bad poetry.