Godzilla Island – Story Arc 7

1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Okay, by now we can ditch the identical openings, because any regular readers are by now familiar with the origins of the show, and any new readers need to get their butts over to March of Godzilla Story Arc 1 to get caught up on why we’re featuring a show that has monster toys waved around in front of the camera. We are a long way from being done, but are making rapid progress. We’re covering episodes 51-63 of the 256 total Godzilla Island episodes, which makes us a little under 25% completed (24.6% for you math geeks.) The plots are getting more involved, newer, badder monsters are arriving each week, and giant flaming head enters the equation! So let’s get to the cast and then get to the show. March of Godzilla Island continues…now!

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji. Torema (Maimi Okuwa) – A mysterious young girl who shows up one day on Godzilla Island right when the dastardly Xiliens begin to attack. She repels the attack, joins the G-Guard, and begins her fight against Zaguresu the Xilien because Xiliens destroyed her home planet (I think that’s what happened – she may have been from future Earth.) Has psychic powers and her own spaceship called the Panatolute. Zaguresu (Naoko Aizawa) – Evil Xilien woman who invades Earth using giant monsters and her giant Independence Day/V rip-off spaceship. Enjoys laughing evilly while contemplating the latest diabolical schemes. Follows the Xilien leader Giant Emperor’s orders, because that’s what they do on Planet X. Sheep! Her spaceship is named the Vabaruda. Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese. Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things. Giant Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as King Caesar fighting Megalon or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Featuring the monsters –

Anguirus – Godzilla’s first foe and now a close friend. His only power is a spiky back but he’s brave on the battlefield. One of the usual residents on Godzilla Island who shows up to watch the action as stories progress. Baragon – Big ears, big horn on the nose, likes to dig underground. One of the usual residents on Godzilla Island who shows up to watch the action. Godzilla – The King of Monsters. Godzilla is pure awesome in giant fire-breathing lizard form. Everyone who comes to Godzilla Island wants a piece of Godzilla. And they all get kicked to the curb. Godzilla Junior – Godzilla’s lamest son is here also. Looks likes some sort of lizard squirrel or something. Give me Minya! I’ll even take nephew Godzooky! Gorosaurus – Old foe of King Kong who spends most of his days watching whatever happens on Godzilla Island. His special move was to do kangaroo kicks. King Caesar – King Caesar is King of Zen as well. He’s a Samurai Lion who will kick your behind! He is some sort of Taoist/Shinto priest or something in addition to being a giant monster. Mecha-King Ghidorah – Part robot, part King Ghidrah, all cop. Okay, not a cop. Needs a driver, as an entire plot line revolves around. Comes in a vending machine, like all things in Japan from comic books to used panties. Mechagodzilla – This is the second Mechagodzilla, which was created by humans to fight Godzilla. Now stationed on Godzilla Island as one of its defenders. Usually automated, but can be piloted at times (and has been by G-Guard Commander.) Usually paired with Moguera. Moguera – The Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-Type, or MOGUERA, was also built to fight Godzilla, and is also stationed on Godzilla Island to defend it now. In one episode we see Torema pilots Moguera, but other episodes it is unclear who is in control. Moguera can separate into Star Falcon and Land Moguera pieces in the movies, but doesn’t here. Rodan – A prehistoric monster awakened in modern day, Rodan is a former foe of Godzilla who has learned to work with him to fight off the evil monsters. Has some hot springs named after him on Godzilla Island. Will eventually become Fire Rodan, because he did so in the Heisei movie series that was still recent, in addition to giving Bandai another toy.

A floating vending machine causes all sorts of drama involving brainwashing, electric collars, upset monsters, and giant flaming heads. This is the most involved plotline in Godzilla Island yet. And a new evil monster! Those Japanese can vending machine anything, and despite vending machine monsters appearing in movies like Transformers I know of no Japanese film with evil vending machines. But there probably exists one. Except it’s not the focus here, Godzilla Island is! So let’s get Islandized!

Episode 51 – Zaguresu’s Giant Deficit Army
Zaguresu is worried about her wrinkles as her spaceship sits in space when suddenly a vending machine that dispenses daikaiju floats by. Zaguresu orders a Mecha-King Ghidorah and soon it is headed toward Earth. Mecha-King Ghidorah is different than from the movies in that all three heads are mechanical. Tsuzuku.

Episode 52 – The Eventual Battle
Mecha-King Ghidorah’s arrival interrupts Torema and Lucas’s girltime chat. Mecha-King Ghidorah lands in front of Godzilla, but does nothing. Godzilla stares a bit, then walks forward and just pushes Mecha-King Ghidorah over. What is this, the Gigan fight again? Tsuzuku.

Episode 53 – Oh, it’s Hopeless
Torema and G-Guard Commander discuss why Mecha-King Ghidorah doesn’t do anything, while Zaguresu is on the phone with who I guess is tech support. They are no help because she all she needed was a pilot for the monster, and now we find out Zaguresu can’t even move her ship as it has no fuel because she spent all her money on vending machine monsters. Tsuzuku.

Episode 54 – Vabaruda Destruction Strategy
G-Guard Commander decides he’ll pilot Mecha-King Ghidorah and attack Zaguresu’s ship the Vabaruda. A rare actual plan from G-Guard Commander, and the heroes finally going on the offensive! And after Lucas and Torema chat some more, G-Guard Commander takes off in the monster while Torema flies along in her ship as an escort. Tsuzuku.

Episode 55 – Zaguresu’s Final Moment?
Using Mecha-King Ghidorah, G-Guard Commander and Torema attack Zaguresu’s ship. She can fight back a bit, but is overpowered by the massive blasts from Mecha-King Ghidorah. At the end, it looks like her ship will explode. Will they kill off their only villain? Tsuzuku.

Episode 56 – Zaguresu’s Turn-Around
Zaguresu’s ship isn’t dead yet, and G-Guard Commander’s delay in firing at her results in him getting hit by a meteor. D’oh! Mecha-King Ghidorah spins out of control, hits Torema’s ship, and then is tractor beamed up into Zaguresu’s ship. Torema spins out of control toward Earth, regains control, and then notices that Mecha-King Ghidorah is gone. G-Guard Commander is in jail on Zaguresu’s ship, but then Zaguresu gets a call from the Giant Floating Head…I mean the Giant Emperor of Planet X! He’s a giant, floating, flaming head that doesn’t move his lips when he speaks. So of course he’s the leader of Planet X, they’re weird that way. Tsuzuku.

Episode 57 – Unfathomable! The Giant Dark Emperor
Giant Emperor says some stuff, in Japanese, and it takes the entire episode. Tsuzuku!

Episode 58 – The Commander has Returned
Torema is in charge of Godzilla Island now, until G-Guard Commander mysteriously return! He acts all rude, and then Torema sees all the monsters are now collared and held captive by the robot monsters used by Godzilla Island (Mechagodzilla and Moguera)! G-Guard Commander is hypnotized! Tsuzuku. I guess being hypnotized makes you get off on S&M bondage on daikaiju? If only some of the most disgusting internet sex perversions could be blamed on hypnosis, but I’m afraid furries are a product of concious minds. ::shudders::

Episode 59 – The Necklace of Fear
All the monsters are in a small barrier with electric collars that will go off if they try to leave the barrier. Battle Royale much? Torema yells at G-Guard Commander, so he sends Mechagodzilla to blow her up. That will teach you to yell at hypnotized people! Godzilla grabs Mechagodzilla and tosses him around, as the other monsters cheer. They keep cheering as Godzilla fights Mogeura as well, but Godzilla then collapses before he can get his collar off and attack G-Guard HQ. Tsuzuku.

Episode 60 – Don’t Call its Name
Godzilla gets up anyway and heads to the G-Guard HQ. I guess the cliffhanger was just him tripping over his own feet? Lame-tacular. Torema calls G-Guard Commander (who we know is now evil because he’s filmed at different angles and with different lighting) who yells at her, until she figures out a codeword to say that Lucas told her. This causes G-Guard Commander to faint, then he recovers back to normal. Everyone has a secret codeword that will allow them to be freed from hypnosis. Start saying random words around your friends and see if they snap out of hypnosis. You’d be surprised how many of them are hypnotized. Freed G-Guard Commander releases the collars off of the monsters. But Zaguresu send Mecha-King Ghidorah down to Earth again to start some trouble. And make it double. Tsuzuku.

Episode 61 – Mecha-King Ghidorah Returns
The monsters are ticked over the collars so they are all leaving Godzilla Island in a single file line. Forget Trail of Tears, this is Trail of “I-hate-S&M-bondage-collars!” Then Mecha-King Ghidorah attacks. Even though he blasts a few of the monsters, he heads straight for G-Guard HQ, which he starts blowing up worse than it ever has been on the show so far. And it’s been attacked a lot! No clue who is driving Mecha-King Ghidorah now. The monsters just stare, despite G-Guard Commander calling them for help. Rubberneckers. Tsuzuku.

Episode 62 – Sortie, Commander!
The monsters still stare. Torema shoots Mecha-King Ghidorah in the back a bit with her ship, but he ignores her. The monsters start to leave, but then Godzilla steps up to fight. The other monsters stop leaving to watch him, but soon Godzilla is losing the battle. G-Guard Commander then flies out in Mechagodzilla, and prepares to join the battle as well. Tsuzuku.

Episode 63 – All-Out Monster Attack
Mechagodzilla gets beat up as well, nothing can stop Mecha-King Ghidorah! Until King Caesar tells the other monsters “Let’s get ’em!” and they all charge! It’s massive monster mayhem as Mecha-King Ghidorah is now fighting Godzilla, Mechagodzilla, King Caesar, Rodan, Baragon, Gorosaurus, and Anguirus. There is no hope for him now, and he is stomped more thoroughly than any monster before on this show. Tsuzuku after the win!

Monster gang-bang action!
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This was the best story so far, and ended with a bunch of monster fighting. Mecha-King Ghidorah was nicely modified from the movies, and three metal heads made him unique to the series. It did have a bunch of weird comic moments, but was very creative and made good use of the few cliché plot parts it had to work with. Too bad next story arc will be the worst arc of the series. Tune in next time on March of Godzilla Island to read all about it, as we tackle Story Arc 8 – The Mystery of Godzilla Island!

New Matchups – Mecha-King Ghidorah vs. Mechagodzilla; Mecha-King Ghidorah vs Godzilla, Mechagodzilla, King Caesar, Rodan, Baragon, Gorosaurus, and Anguirus.

Rated 7/10 (hypnotized, tiny toy, ZAPP!, Rock of Doom, I enjoyed seeing Junior tortured far too much…, Rodan’s collar doesn’t even fit!, Anguirus sulks)

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