Monster of the Nudist Colony (Review)
Monster of the Nudist Colony
2014
Written by James Rogers and Bruno Kennedy
Directed by Louis DeWalnut (as Steve Goldenberg)
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Even the Monster is nude!
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Monster of the Nudist Colony blends monsters and softcore sex mayhem into a wondrous combination that’s now available on your local premium cable channel. Monster of the Nudist Colony is a direct parody of The Beast that Killed Women, directed by schlock exploitation master Barry Mahon! Not only have I seen the film, but the Something Weird DVD paired with The Monster of Camp Sunshine was the first Something Weird DVD I ever bought. If you’ve never seen the various nudie cutie films of the 1960s, filmed back when it was legal to film naked people only on a nudist colony, and with nothing frontal below the waist, then prepared to be bored silly (example: Nude on the Moon) There are endless shots of people walking (with strategically placed towels), sitting (with strategically placed towels), and playing games like volleyball (with strategically placed towels!) The Beast that Killed Women shook up the formula a bit by adding a monster killing women (Barry Mahon in a gorilla suit) that substituted for the sexual release that endless shots of nudists playing volleyball would not deliver. In a way, it was one of the Roughies, the name for underground nudie flicks made soon after the exodus from the colonies that had increasingly violent edges (an example we’ve covered is In Hot Blood)
Thankfully, Monster of the Nudist Colony avoids all that violent stuff. The guy in a gorilla suit may gank women, but only to tie them up and make them dance for him! Honestly, it makes the film better, because this is supposed to be a silly parody, we don’t need violent acts perpetrated against women with what may be subtextual racism getting in the way! If anything, Monster of the Nudist Colony is a little too on the nose for it’s subject, to the point where it runs out of plot and fills the last 15 minutes with an all star super orgy. That certainly has the ending dance party seen on subpar animated films beat! If you pay attention, there is plenty of references to nudie flicks: people walking along nature trails with towels, a character who’s totally anti-nudity until they learn to cut loose and be nude, something threatening the security of the nudist colony, and even the occasional visit from law enforcement. What is different is all the sex sex sex! Nudie cuties weren’t allowed to have sex scenes, and official nudist colonies shy away from the sexual aspect of nudity, focusing on freedom. Monster of the Nudist Colony ignores all that and has Circle Double D’s Nudist Colony basically one step away from Hedonism II! Sidenote: the Double D’s Nudist Colony is filmed at the Malibu Dry Gulch Ranch.
And, sorry bigfoot-human sex scene fans, the Monster does not have sex with any women until he has been returned to human form. You might like Sweet Prudence & the Erotic Adventure of Bigfoot instead!
The film features extensive soundtrack work by RooBiE BreastNuT, not only working through the majority of their songs available on iTunes, but featuring a few news ones (including on that sounds written specifically for Monster of the Nudist Colony!) There is even a cameo by Roobie Breastnut herself! While fan favorite song “Pussy Pussy Bang Bang” is not used, you can hear: “I Want Your Love”, “Girls Like Girls”, “This is the Lust”, “Johnny Lapdance”, “Yeah, That’s Triple X”, “Porn to Be Alive”, “Peeping Jon”, “Hypnotika”, “Dance Dance Dance”, “Nudist Camp”, “Suck on This” and many more that can be found on Roobie Breastnut’s iTunes page!
Director Louis DeWalnut is a pseudonym for Steve Goldenberg, who has worked with Jim Wynorski on several of his softcore adventures. The writing is credited to James Rogers (I couldn’t figure out his prior credits) and Bruno Kennedy (co-writer of some of the Busty Cop movies)

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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: Amber Ashlee, Angie Savage, Bailey Beetleman, Bigfoot, Bridgette B, Britney Young, Frankie Cullen, Hannah Reilly, Lesbians, Lexi Belle, mad monkey time, Melessia Hayden, nudie cutie, nudists, Rickey Ricardo Smith, Roobie Breastnut, Ryan McLane, Samantha Ryan, softcore, T.J. Cummings, Tony Marino
Nude on the Moon (Review)
Nude on the Moon
1962
Starring
Marietta as Cathy/Queen Moon Nudist
William Mayer as Dr. Jeff Huntley
Lester Brown as Professor Nickels
Directed by Doris Wishman
The first rocketship to the moon finds…a Nudist Colony! One would think that would make this film exciting. One would be wrong. Back in the days before the internet, before Late Night cable, before VCRs, you had to sneak off to the theater to see naked people. You certainly couldn’t see your wife naked, as she was sleeping in the other twin bed. As an added affront, the nudie films all feature people who are nude in name only, just wandering around topless. Because of things like this, the human race almost died off, millions of males having no knowledge of the female reproductive system, and believing playing volleyball with topless women was how you made babies. While that may have been good for stockholders of sporting goods stores, it did little to help the Baby Boomers figure out the birds and the bees until they all went on acid and figured it out.
This movie’s plot, or single sentence, is “Man goes to moon, gets mooned, goes home.” The five minutes it took to establish the story is padded out by long sequences of driving, long sequences of nudists lying around on the moon, and long sequences of nothing. Nudism has never been more exciting! The entire first two minutes or so is the entire song Moon Doll played to a crude cartoon drawing of the moon. Dean Martin has nothing on this guy, and no one will ever worry about that drawing hitting them in the eye like a big pizza pie over this movie. In the unlikely event you are struck in the eye by moon particles, be sure to wash afterwards, you don’t know where those nudists have been.
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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: 1960s SciFi, Doris Wishman, Lester Brown, Marietta, nudie cutie, William Mayer
Passion in the Sun! (Review)
Passion in the Sun!
aka The Girl and The Geek
1964
Starring
Josette Valague as Josette Valague
Dale Berry as Sgt. Mike Green
Mike Butts as The Geek
Dee Dent as Sans Souci girl
Rain Drop as Sans Souci girl
Dick Eason as Raul Ortiz
Back before we were blessed with Cinemax, HBO, VCRs, the Internet, and DVDs, if you wanted to see naked women, you had two choices. Either go to a burlesque house and lose your entire paycheck, or go to a dirty, dingy theater where scratchy prints of “nudie” movies and other schlock played and only be out the price of a seat, and your dignity. When I think about my father or grandfather having to resort to such lengths to see the fairer sex, I feel for them. I feel even more thanks to my viewing of Passion in the Sun!, a typical entry in the mindless nude movies of the time. Short on plot, short on voice acting (everything is dubbed in later), short on special effects, short on full frontal nudity (damn laws keep these films from going full monty), and short on your patience, Passion in the Sun! attempts to make up for these massive flaws by giving us long shots of the main character running and frolicking naked, action dance sequences taking place in the Sans Souci dancehall, monster action (if you can call this guy a monster, I’ve seen janitors that look more frightening), fistfights, and high speed chases.
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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: Dale Berry, Dee Dent, Dick Eason, Josette Valague, Mike Butts, nudie cutie, Rain Drop, softcore