[adrotate banner=”1″]Zach Snyder’s upcoming flick that isn’t Superman is Sucker Punch, a crazy fantasy fest that looks like it is a festival for the eyes. That’s assuming we get more fantasy sequences than reality, but who knows? Set in Vermont during the 1950s, a young woman named Babydoll is thrown into a mental institution by her abusive father, and must escape with some of her fellow inmates before she gets lobotomized. Babydoll sees the world as a series of fantasy sequences, which will be the only reason to see the film. Starring Emily Browning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Uninvited) as Babydoll, Jena Malone (Donnie Darko, Saved!) as Rocket, Jamie Chung (Dragonball Evolution, drunk driving) as Amber, Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical, naughty self-photos) as Blondie, and Abbie Cornish (Bright Star) as Sweet Pea.
The new review has been posted: The surprisingly not bad Dragonball Evolution. It isn’t great, but I didn’t feel angry for how stupid it was after it was over like a certain other 2009 film involving people fighting that will be the next review. Instead we get this crazy fantasy brainless film that makes you think about balls. Dragonballs. And yet, the only dragon in the film, we don’t know if he actually had any balls. Something to ponder. Complete with clip and lots of pictures, read it today!
Dragonball is a famous manga and anime series from Japan that has fans all over the world. I am not one of those fans so I don’t give a crap how they deviated from the source material. If you just want to read a review that complains about that stuff, then I am sorry, this is not the review for you. If you want to read a review that complains about other stupid stuff and yet still gives the film a fairly positive review, then you have hit the jackpot. Also, there is a monkeyman in this movie, and a CGI dragon. Just saying.
Dragonball the anime is about some dudes who spend 99% of the show charging up for the 1% where they fight and someone gets blasted only for them to fight next week after more charging up. It is the most popular show that has ever existed in the world. The movie decided to ignore the charging up and instead do some sort of “Find the Dragonballs!” plot. Fine with me. The film then basically becomes a low-rent Star Wars ripoff, or at least that same stupid farmboy mythology that everyone does. Sure, that legend has been around forever and Star Wars is known for borrowing elements wholesale from other myths itself, but all of those stories now just end up being compared to Star Wars, like it or not.
And where were the fistcams we were told about? I don’t remember any fistcams in the film. Maybe they realized it looked stupid.
Justin Chatwin does a good job with the normal teenager parts, but the sections where he is vowing revenge, questioning people about stuff in the dragonball mythology, or calling upon dragons to resurrect his master all come off as very badly acted. He just isn’t a good genre actor at this point, but he would be find chatting up some girl on 90210 or something.
Goku (Justin Chatwin) – Goku is the grandson of Master Gohan and your average American teenager who has a martial artist grandfather and is the heir guardian of a mysterious Dragonball that is sought by evil warlords. And he is secretly an evil monkey. Justin Chatwin is the annoyingly not-killed son from War of the Worlds. Here, he is less annoying.
Master Roshi (Chow Yun-Fat) – Master Gohan’s friend and mentor to Goku. Master Roshi is a creepy dude who enjoys some good porn and robots and being a slob. But he cleans up his act to teach Goku. You should know who Chow Yun-Fat is so I am not going to explain it.
Bulma Briefs (Emmy Rossum) – Bulma wants to use her father’s dragonball to develop a new energy source, but the dragonball is stolen by Mai and Bulma runs into Goku while tracking it down. Bulma Briefs was named by a guy, in case you were wondering. Emmy Rossum is enjoyable and graduated high school at age 15.
Chi Chi (Jamie Chung) – Chi Chi is not only a celebration of food, but is Goku’s love interest. She is a secret fighter and also a child of a super rich family and her parents are never around. Jamie Chung likes being on reality shows and drinking and driving. My wife was friends with her sister so that makes me totally famous! And we got cheesecake pics!
Lord Piccolo (James Marsters) – Lord Piccolo was trapped for 2000 years or some crap when he and a monkey failed to steal all the dragonballs long ago. They never mention how he escaped, nor how he got his zeppelin. Zeppelins are cool. Piccolo is green. James Marsters was on Buffy, but I don’t watch Buffy.
Yamcha (Joon Park) – Yamcha just shows up in the middle of the film as a semi-criminal guy who joins our heroes in chasing balls. Joon Park was a member of the music group g.o.d. in Korea.
Mai (Eriko Tamura) – Mai is Piccolo’s servent who just steals all these dragonballs and does other stuff while barely saying anything and looking like Bai Ling should have played the role. Eriko Tamura was in Heroes and the great film Surf School.
[adrotate banner=”1″]This movie will be terrible! If you want any more proof (other than these pictures or the trailer) then check out this interview where the director talks about how they have fistcams for Goku!
VFX supervisor Velasco Shaw employed what Wong calls “fist-cams” – from the noted company Iconix – that are so small they could be attached to an actor’s fist, allowing a character’s punch to come right into the audience. “It’s a kind of ‘fist POV’,” Wong elaborates. McLachlan contributed the suggestion of using new high-speed digital Phantom cameras to create super-slow motion for key action sequences. “We did a lot of research and development with the Phantom cameras,” says McLachlan, who had discovered the-then experimental photography on YouTube. In the YouTube video, a balloon filled with water was popped, with the “action” caught at 1000 frames per second. McLachlan and Wong were impressed with the results. “The most spectacular thing about it was that the water retained the shape of the balloon before it fell,” Wong remembers.
Here are some bonus pictures of Jamie Chung, who plays Chi Chi: