Hallmark Channel goes full wedding Christmas fantasy with A Royal Christmas!

A Royal Christmas Hallmark

Welcome to this vaguely Disney country, expect our kid to be cursed by a witch before she can even walk!


[adrotate banner=”7″]I’m beginning to run out of ways to talk about Christmas and romance thanks to the onslaught of films Hallmark is pumping out this year. A Royal Christmas is no exception, featuring more Christmas love, and secret prince action as well. There is also a royal conspiracy as the blue-collar Emily must prove she is worthy to be a princess to the snobby Queen. It’s almost class warfare, except watered down for the Hallmark crowd. A Royal Christmas appears to build on the often-used scenario in romance fiction, while utilizing the fictitious country setting to make things vaguely like a fairy tale. Throw in an ex-girlfriend and this promises to have the potential to be a bit wacky.

A Royal Christmas is part of The 12 New Movies of Christmas in the Countdown to Christmas celebration on Hallmark Channel. Here is hoping the film jumps out from the pack to deliver royal entertainment. Did you catch that joke there? Royal entertainment? Because they are royals? Aw, forget it, bring on the synopsis:

As the only daughter of an expert tailor in Philadelphia, Emily Corrigan (Chabert) is a kindhearted young woman proud of her blue-collar background. She is a devoted seamstress at the family business and madly in love with her doting European boyfriend, Leo (Stephen Hagan). But as their first Christmas together approaches, Leo drops a bombshell on his unsuspecting girlfriend: he is actually Prince Leopold, heir to the throne of Cordinia, a small sovereign country. Emily is in shock, but her love for Leo trumps her hesitation about his double life and they quickly fly to Cordinia to announce their engagement and spend the holidays with Leo’s disapproving mother, Queen Isadora (Seymour).

Less than enthusiastic about her son’s relationship with a commoner, Isadora makes Emily feel anything but welcome at their grand castle, leaving Emily to feel more at home among Isadora’s staff of butlers and housemaids. As Emily struggles to adapt to her new royal surroundings, the situation is made more difficult when a scheming Isadora invites Duchess Natasha (Flynn), Leo’s ex-girlfriend, to join them for Christmas. Emily sees that Natasha is a perfect match for Leo and worries she’ll never measure up to Isadora’s standards. Attempting to stay true to herself in a world where she clearly doesn’t belong, Emily wonders if love is enough to keep her newly royal relationship from falling apart before Christmas morning

A Royal Christmas stars Lacey Chabert (Mean Girls) as Emily, Stephen Hagan (Best: His Mother’s Son) as Leo, Jane Seymour (Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman) as Isadora, and Katherine Flynn (The Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell) as Natasha.

A Royal Christmas is directed by Alex Zamm – the guy who directed Chairman of the Board, The Pooch and the Pauper, Inspector Gadget 2, Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts, Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2, Tooth Fairy 2, The Little Rascals Save the Day, and Jingle All the Way 2. I will go on record in saying that despite the awesome Norm MacDonald clip (which I watched as it aired back in the day!), Chairman of the Board isn’t that terrible. A bigger warning sign is four writers, though they appear to be two different husband and wife teams: Janeen and Michael Damian (Marley & Me: The Puppy Years, A Princess for Christmas) and Tippi and Neal H. Dobrofsky (Smart Cookies, Operation Cupcake) Not only is that much more DTV experience, A Princess for Christmas has an almost identical plot, including the Christmas theme! Basically, this crew knows how to deliver a product for the target audience that will leave them satisfied. So if you love this Hallmark Christmas Romance movies, this is probably your can’t miss film of The 12 New Movies of Christmas.

A Royal Christmas premieres November 22 on Hallmark Channel!

Photo via Hallmark Press/Gabriel Hennessey

Larry the Cable Guy to Jingle All Your Way!

[adrotate banner=”1″]WWE Studios is still making movies and still putting noted wrestler Larry the Cable Guy into sequels to movies that he wasn’t in to begin with. The latest is Jingle All the Way 2, a sequel to the 1996 film that starred Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad as competing fathers trying to get the hottest toy of the year. Larry the Cable Guy will be teamed with Santino Marella, who actually is a wrestler. Alex Zamm of Tooth Fairy 2 fame will direct.

Jingle All the Way has seen a resurgence of popularity recently, buffered on by True 90s Kids remember the 90s, and fans of Phil Harman. Let us not forget the legion of fans of Jake Lloyd, who remind us every day that Jingle All the Way is far from the worst thing Jake Lloyd starred in.

WWE Studios also announced The Marine 4, another DTV sequel where The Mix will return after starring in The Marine 3 (John Cena starred in the original and Ted DiBiase starred in The Marine 2) WWE Diva Summer Rae will also star.

This year will see WWE release the animated Scooby-Doo! WrestleMania Mystery, the Leprechaun: Origins reboot of the Leprechaun franchise (starring Hornswoggle), and See No Evil 2. The original See No Evil starred Kane and was one of WWE’s first films. The sequel is directed by the Soska sisters, Jen and Sylvia Soska, and will again see Kane go on a killing spree. No word on if Kane will kill Larry the Cable Guy, but maybe they are saving that for See No Evil 3.

via Variety

Larry the Cable Guy milk chocolate tater chips

You know these are good chips because he’s not just a cable guy, he’s a health inspector!

The Little Rascals rebooting again due to popular demand!

[adrotate banner=”1″]The roar of the masses cannot be contained, and their frothy chants, their unified chorus of demands, the years of demonstrations and riots, have all lead to this point: The Little Rascals are being rebooted!

The joy of the people is immeasurable! One man I interviewed was speechless, unable to contain his emotions, he openly wept. This is a day long look towards, a day that shall be remembered, a day that will live on in song long after we depart this Earth.

Helming this important and historical film will be Alex Zamm, director of such treasured classics as Chairman of the Board, Inspector Gadget 2, Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts, Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2, and Tooth Fairy 2. The scrolls of quality films are endless, and The Little Rascals will be yet another notch on Zamm’s heavenly belt of divine cinema. We wait breathlessly at TarsTarkas.NET for word on who will be the new Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Froggy, Spanky, and Petey the dog.

via MovieHole

Chairman of the Board