My Animal Attack Ray has had a successful trial, turning peaceful dolphins into brutal killing machines. No one will suspect Flipper is capable of death! Now that I can affect Marine Mammals, the next step is Land Mammals, so expect stories about people being attacked by zebras, cows, deer, squirrels, and ibex! Soon, I will have a unstoppable animal army! The best part is, you can’t fight the army, because they will all be endangered species and it will be illegal to shoot them! MuHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Leaping dolphin gives Fla. boaters cuts, bruises

Thu Oct 9, 11:28 PM ET

EDGEWATER, Fla. – A woman is recovering in Florida after a dolphin hit her when it leaped aboard the boat she was in.

The Coast Guard says witnesses called 911 Thursday after seeing the dolphin jump from the Intracoastal Waterway and hit Barbara Howard of Mansfield, Ohio. Howard was sitting in an 18-foot boat with her husband, their daughter and their daughter’s boyfriend.

The Howards say the dolphin jumped about six feet high and landed on the bow. They say it slid in their laps and its thrashing tail knocked them to the deck. Their daughter’s boyfriend rolled the dolphin back into the water.

The husband and wife were treated at a hospital for cuts and bruises and released.