Godzilla Island – Story Arc 19

1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Welcome to another installment of March of Godzilla Island! This time, things will get a bit trippy, because we got mushrooms on the brain! We’re ‘shroomin’ because the latest kaiju to invade Godzilla Island is a revamped Hedorah rechristened “Neo Hedorah”! This doesn’t mean he’s a master of the Matrix, but instead is all new, with a pink and blue tie-dye job. Neo Hedorah is also a fungus among us, because he makes mushrooms grow. I am not sure what pollution has to do with mushrooms, but I bet it makes perfect sense if you are on mushrooms. Which also makes Japanese cinema make more since. Only someone on mushrooms would think to set Rodan on fire, so he becomes Fire Rodan and defeats the power of evil mushrooms. Ah, the Japanese and their wackery! Anyway, for you newbies, hop on over to Godzilla Island Story Arc 1 to get started, while everyone else (including our visitor from Mexico who checks every day for updates – Hello, sir!) continue on with our tale of mushrooms, smog monsters, and flaming kaiju.

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji. Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese. Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time. Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda. Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right. Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)! Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things. Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Godzilla fighting Weird Godzilla or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Featuring the monsters –

Anguirus – Godzilla’s first foe and now a close friend. His only power is a spiky back but he’s brave on the battlefield. One of the usual residents on Godzilla Island who shows up to watch the action as stories progress. Baragon – Big ears, big horn on the nose, likes to dig underground. One of the usual residents on Godzilla Island who shows up to watch the action. Fire Rodan – Rodan transforms from Rodan to Fire Rodan, which gives him the power of Fire. Fire defeats mushroom, which is sort of like Battle Beasts except not. Fire Rodan isn’t a new toy, but is achieved entirely by glowing computer effects. Way to drop the ball on a potential new toy, especially since Fire Rodan is the Heisei version of Rodan and it would make perfect sense. But at least we have a color variation of Hedorah. Fire Rodan loses his Fire Rodan powers pretty quickly after raining hot death upon The Neo Smog Monster. Godzilla – The King of Monsters. Godzilla is pure awesome in giant fire-breathing lizard form. Everyone who comes to Godzilla Island wants a piece of Godzilla. And they all get kicked to the curb. Godzilla Junior – Godzilla’s lamest son is here also. Looks likes some sort of lizard squirrel or something. Give me Minya! I’ll even take nephew Godzooky! Gorosaurus – Old foe of King Kong who spends most of his days watching whatever happens on Godzilla Island. His special move was to do kangaroo kicks. King Caesar – King Caesar is King of Zen as well. He’s a Samurai Lion who will kick your behind! He is some sort of Taoist/Shinto priest or something in addition to being a giant monster. Neo Hedorah – The Smog Monster is back, in Pink and Blue form! What the smurf? This time, Neo Hedorah is all about polluting via mushrooms. Because mushrooms are smog. Or something. Al Gore never saw that one coming. Now we know that Super Mario Brothers is entirely pro-pollution propaganda to endear us to mushrooms, so they can kill us dead. I’m on to you, Mario! Neo Hedorah also teaches kids that if they are dropped into a volcano and later incinerated by Godzilla, you can still return as a crazy mushroom trip. Buy some magic mushrooms today! Possesses mushroom-growing breath and eye beams. Rodan – A prehistoric monster awakened in modern day, Rodan is a former foe of Godzilla who has learned to work with him to fight off the evil monsters. Has some hot springs named after him on Godzilla Island. Will eventually become Fire Rodan, because he did so in the Heisei movie series that was still recent, in addition to giving Bandai another toy.

Episode 199 – A Strange Mushroom
Misato is working hard (but hardly working!) when Nao enters her lab with a plate of strange red and blue mushrooms that she found while hiking. Because it is always good to eat strange mushrooms, the plate is put on the table as lunch and Misato shows Nao an ancient scroll about Fire Rodan. Thank goodness she found this Fire Rodan scroll at this opportune moment, as we will soon discover. G-Guard Commander interrupts the girltime with a communiqué about Godzilla Junior being in trouble, so Misato takes off in the Tart-coupe and investigates. She sees Junior collapsed, with those strange mushrooms growing out of his back! I guess he was playing Super Mario, but sans Nintendo. She flies to Mt. Gaira to investigate where Nao found the mushrooms. There, she finds a several football fields sized area filled with those strange mushrooms. Tsuzuku.

Episode 200 – Neo Hedorah Appears
Something is moving in the mushrooms, and it isn’t some burnt out Deadhead. A pink and blue Hedorah pops out of the field, he is Neo Hedorah, whose breath produces more of the goofy mushrooms. He’s gone from pollution to fungal last solution! Wait for the joke….What a FUNGI! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Okay, there, I made the required joke. Neo Hedorah tries to eye-ray the Tart-coupe, but misses, and Godzilla arrives to administer a smack-down. Godzilla’s breath is ineffective, and Neo Hedorah does his mushroom breath as we tsuzuku.

Episode 201 – Neo Hedorah is Victorious
Neo Hedorah’s breath is blown back by the timely entrance of Rodan and his flapping wings. Rodan picks up Godzilla and the two escape, with the Tart-coupe following. Camero reports what’s going on to Landes, who begins her next plotting maneuver. Giant Dark Emperor calls just to yell for a few seconds, and then Landes tells him that Neo Hedorah will make the whole island a mushroom paradise. Which I think he was going to do, anyway, so Landes’s plot is to do nothing. And all of this is just a leftover Zaguresu plot, so Landes is just riding coattails. Plus, shouldn’t Neo Hedorah’s mushrooms work better on neighboring Matango Island? I’ve spent more time analysing this plotline than this entire story arc took performing it. Tsuzuku for more analysis.

Episode 202 – G-Guard Base is Polluted
Misato researches and finds that 100,000 degrees Celsius should be enough to destroy Neo Hedorah. I sure hope so because that is 20 times hotter than the surface of the sun! Misato then looks at the Fire Rodan parchment and gets an idea. She will make a self-cleaning iron! Okay, not that, the Fire Rodan thing. But G-Guard Commander tells her that Baragon, Anguirus, and Gorosaurus are now mushroomed! G-Guard Commander won’t let Misato go perform the ceremony, but as Nao enters with dinner, dinner has a mushroom growing on it! G-Guard HQ is polluted, mushroom-style! Tsuzuku.

Episode 203 – A Mysterious Power
G-Guard Commander is hungry, and Landes calls while eating dinner to gloat. Missing food for ten minutes makes G-Guard Commander so hungry he is affected by her taunts. Misato shows the Fire Rodan parchment, and G-Guard Commander realizes that King Caesar can perform the ceremony required. So Misato’s plan is now the plan. Tsuzuku.

Episode 204 – Misato’s Prayer
Misato goes to King Caesar’s house, where the ceremony is all set up and Rodan on a platform with torches around him. The parchment shows people praying, so that’s what Misato has to do. Camero reports to Landes, who monologues. Finally, she tells Neo Hedorah, who advances on G-Guard HQ. Tsuzuku.

Episode 205 – The Ceremony Goes Wrong
Neo Hedorah is attacking G-Guard HQ, because everyone does. It’s the cool thing on Godzilla Island. The Hyper Maser is deployed, only it doesn’t work and soon is growing mushrooms. Godzilla arrives to fight Neo Hedorah again, and his attacks are still ineffective. This time, Godzilla gets eye-lasered by Neo Hedorah. The ceremony begins to work, Rodan begins to glow, then all falls apart and Rodan is KO’ed. Announcer Guy literally screams as we go to Tsuzuku. Calm down, dude!

Episode 206 – Invincible Neo Hedorah
Godzilla gets mushroomed, and G-Guard Commander is too hungry to fight in Mechagodzila. What kind of lame excuse… Misato prays some more, and Neo Hedorah tosses Godzilla round like a rag doll. There ain’t mushroom on this island for both these monsters! Ha! Pun-tastic. Camero sounds excited for the first time ever reporting on Godzilla’s defeat to Landes, who does more laughing and taunting. Misato prays as we tsuzuku.

Episode 207 – The Birth of Fire Rodan!
King Caesar shouts to the sky, and soon all the mushroomed monsters are shouting prayers, and the ceremony continues, Rodan becomes Fire Rodan! The powers of a glowing effect bring Fire Rodan to life! Fire Rodan takes to the sky, and arrives where Neo Hedorah is. He unleashes his fire breath as we tsuzuku.

Episode 208 – Extreme Temperature! Double Blaze
Fire Rodan is increasing temperature of Neo Hedorah, and Godzilla helps with his breath. Soon, Neo Hedorah collapses into a pile of ash with only a burnt head remaining. Somehow, the rest of Godzilla Island is unaffected by the 100,000 degree Celsius heat. Landes pouts, and the Fire Rodan energy leaves Rodan. That effect is expensive, after all! All the mushrooms go away, without any explanation. Explanations are for losers. Nao brings in food for G-Guard Commander, only it is shiitake mushrooms! G-Guard Commander is upset, but Misato takes the food instead! Tsuzuku! Good thing we end here, because I’m all out of mushroom puns and would have to resort to Shiitake puns, which would make these reviews R-rated.

The death of Neo Hedorah
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Well, that’s that. Join us next time for Godzilla Island Story Arc 20: The Great Cake Adventure, as March of Godzilla Island continues! Everyone who hates Lucas will enjoy seeing him tortured in the next story! Tsuzuku!

New monster matchups – Godzllla vs. Neo Hedorah, Fire Rodan and Godzilla vs. Neo Hedorah

Rated 7/10 (parchment, absorbing, Camero, KO’ed, Lasered, Fire Rodan Spirit flies away, Shiitake!)

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