Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle in Paradise (Review)

Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle in Paradise

Holly Sampson as Emmanuelle
Shauna O’Brien as Maggie Henson
D.J. West as Philip Henson
Anthony Skordi as The Sultan
Gabriella Hall as Ashley
Brad Bartram as Matt
Robert Donovan as Justin
Aysia Lee as Keiko
Directed by Kevin Alber (as Ura Hee!!)

Everyone knows Emmanuelle. Okay, almost everyone. Originally from a book, The Joys of a Woman by Emmanuelle Arsan, the series has grown, evolved, been ripped off, and moved into many different forms. The original Emmanuelle film debuted in 1969, titled Io, Emmanuelle, and most people have never heard of it. They have heard of the 1974 version, which starred Sylvia Kristel, and probably many of the other versions with a revolving door of actresses. Being a high class film that also involved a woman exploring her sexuality, it is safe to watch with your girlfriend, at least more safe than Interracial Gangbang Vol. 18. Emmanuelle spawned many sequels, most of which were in name only, and a long running series of rip off films titled Emannuelle, note the singular M in the name. These films usually starred Laura Gemser, who is often called the Black Emanuelle. There is also a randomly titled Yellow Emmanualle, and an “Emmanuelle” shows up during Bruce Lee’s journey through Hell in The Dragon Lives Again. Modern versions of the Emmanuelle films flourished with the advent of cable TV and new actresses, as well as a cable series with Sylvia Kristal reprising her role, telling stories to a fellow airline passenger that allowed younger girls to play her in flashbacks to have buckwild sexcapades. Modern series of Emmanuelle include the Emmanuelle in Space series and Emmanuelle 2000, which is the subject of this review.

The Emmanuelle 2000 series is a group of films that look suspiciously like episodic TV episodes combined with some random connecting material. Co-creator Rolfe Kanefsky said at The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive (http://www.asstr.org/~JR_Parz/FavMoviePageUpdate1.htm):

As for the concern about Emmanuelle and Pretty Cool. Here’s the back story. Alain Siritzky wanted to make a series of Emmanuelle films that ripped off “Being John Malkovich”. I came up with the structure for the series concerning the headband and necklace to make the whole concept portable. I also thought that the inventor should be a cripple to give the series more heart. By entering the mind of someone else, they can experience things that they can’t normally because of the wheelchair. Looking back now, this was a bad idea for an erotic series. HBO didn’t like the idea of a handicapped person and only aired one episode.

Similar Emmanuelle series include Emmanuelle in Space (7 films) and Emmanuelle’s Private Collection (1 film released so far: Emmanuelle the Private Collection: Emmanuelle vs. Dracula) There are 8 films in the Emmanuelle 2000 line:

  • Emmanuelle 2000
  • Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle’s Intimate Encounters
  • Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle in Paradise
  • Emmanuelle 2000: Being Emmanuelle
  • Emmanuelle 2000: Jewel of Emmanuelle
  • Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle and the Art of Love
  • Emmanuelle 2001: Emmanuelle’s Sensual Pleasures
  • Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle Pie (a reedited overseas version of Pretty Cool, with sex scenes added to make it Emmanuelle. There is a sequel in the works but I don’t know how related it is)

Background information is cool, but let’s get on with the recap!!!

A voiceover explains the premise of the series: A magical device lets you enter the mind and body of anyone you desire. Said device is a heart locket that broadcasts back to a headband with a heart emblem on it, and the headband allows others wearing the device to feel all the sensual pleasure the locket wearers are feeling at the time. The narrator doesn’t bother to tell us the name of the device, Insight, but as you can guess from the Emmanuelle film titles, they will be using the Insight device solely to get it on in ways that haven’t been gotten on before. Holly Sampson is Emmanuelle and runs around boning the crap out of the male race (and the female race when she can get her hands on them as well.) Back at the base, her handicapped friend Maggie Henson (Shauna O’Brien) and her husband Philip Henson (D.J. West in this version) put on the headsets as well and feel the sensations. It’s not mentioned but implied that Maggie, who is in a wheelchair, is no longer operational below the waist, so this is a service to her that also allows Emmanuelle to fulfill her nymphomaniacal passions. And boy is she nyphomaniacal! I just like saying nyphomaniacal. But she is. As we mentioned, this is episodic, so we will jump right into Episode 1: The Phant-Emmanuelle Menace…

The Sultan of Morracco is showing off his palace to a visiting American businessman and his wife. Factcheck: Morocco no longer has Sultans, King Mohammed V changed the title to King in 1957. The Sultan insists that the businessman, named Matt, partake in the pleasure of his harem. The husband is thrilled; the wife Ashley, not so much. She doesn’t buy Mark’s insistence that it is “just business” and they start arguing back at the hotel. That night, they go to have dinner at the Sultan’s, and there is a special guest: Saddam Hussein! I mean Emmanuelle! The Sultan claims he met her in London, saw her walking on the street and begged her to go with him. But, “No one can own Emmanuelle” says the Sultan. After dinner, it’s time for Matt to down to the harem, so he does. His wife is upset; meanwhile Matt bangs practically the entire harem of the Sultan. During the sex, which is not very interesting, the producers get creative and splice in scenes of an old black and white Arabian film, 1924’s Thief of Baghdad. It is far more interesting than this entire movie is, and hopefully I can get my hands on a copy of it for inclusion here. It has giant dragons, flying bats, creepy statues, Ali Baba-type dude on a flying carpet, all sorts of Arabian stuff. It is pretty cool. The sex scene is pretty boring for an orgy, with fake-breasted models and a hot tub. Thus, we have two photos from the inserted scenes and zero from the orgy. Bad orgy, bad!

During the harem action, Emmanuelle and the wife Ashley talk. The just of the scene is to tell us the wife is sexually repressed because she’s uncomfortable with sex parties and swinging. Yeah, sure thing movie. She’s also pharmaceutically repressed because she doesn’t do heroin. Emmanuelle has an idea; they both dress as Arabian girls, then head down to the Harem. After guessing the password (oil) they are let in. The head harem girl says “New sisters, let me prepare you!” The girls go along and suddenly two muscle-bound dudes strut in and start massaging the women. I guess the Sultan also keeps a stud farm to pleasure the harem women when he’s busy, or something. We get a long massage sequence as the two girls are worked over.

The next day, the Sultan comes down to the Harem, to say there is a special guest, so he needs a special girl, and the Sultan picks the wife Ashley. Ashley is getting nervous, and Emmanuelle talks with the Sultan. He’s surprised, as the special guest he got Ashley for was Emmanuelle! Emmanuelle has a new idea, and Matt (wearing a robe) is told by the Sultan he’ll be using the harem again, while Emmanuelle convinces Ashley that it is a good idea for her to be a slut and sleep with some random guy. She gives Ashley one of the heart lockets for luck. Emmanuelle then goes back to the Sultan, and shows him the heart headband device. Matt heads to the harem room, now suddenly dressed instead of in a robe, and meets the veiled Ashley. Matt starts to refuse her, for he loves his wife (funny, he didn’t love her last night, I guess since Ashley isn’t 5 different women he’s not interested.) Suddenly, he finds out it’s Ashley, and they are happy and have the sex that only a couple who just had the husband bang 5 women the night before can have. Meanwhile, Emmanuelle is telling the Sultan he should give monogamy a try, and they start to get it on while he wears the device and feels the pleasure of the couple down below in the harem. The sex scenes run five minutes, and we find out that the Sultan has several tattoos, including severed angel wings on his back and an eagle on his arm, which are both the royal tattoos of Morocco.

Afterwards, we get some filler material as Emmanuelle chats with Maggie and Phillip back at the master control center that reads the emotions from the sex participants. They rave that the emotions were pretty freaking good, and Emmanuelle tells them that the Sultan said she’s the only girl for him. But it’s too late, as Emmanuelle is going to Tokyo to visit a friend in the electronics industry with a problem. Thus we jump into Episode II: Attack of the ClonEmmanuelles…

She arrives in Tokyo at the hotel, but her friend is busy. Therefore, the Japanese girl who runs the hotel will help her…with a lesbianic erotic massage!!! Lesbianism always gets bonus points, and four minutes later, the scene is still going strong. Finally, it becomes later, and Emmanuelle meets Mr. Justin Carrol at a restaurant. The stock footage is quick to remind us that we are in Tokyo, but we never actually see the main characters in any of the famous landmarks…. Justin Carrol is rich from selling corporate espionage equipment, so rich he’s hired his own geisha named Keiko. Keiko is played by the lovely Aysia Lee, last seen here in The Mummy’s Kiss. She’s slightly less attractive here, because she’s behind geisha makeup for a big chunk of her appearance, but she’s still hot. Before you get too hard on Justin for owning women, we find out he’s been lonely since his wife died two years ago. He doesn’t have time to date, but Keiko takes care of him. Also, they don’t have sex, as it’s forbidden for geisha to sleep with their charges. It’s odd that this film is getting some geisha facts more accurate than Memoirs of a Geisha, but back to the film. Justin only sees Keiko while she is working, and has no idea what she’s like while not on the clock. Another geisha is noticeably eavesdropping on the conversation, a white geisha. Later, in the street of “Tokyo” Justin bumps into a blonde, who was the eavesdropping geisha prior, and she comes on to him a bit strong. They go for a walk, directly to his place, where she covers herself with some sushi so he can eat it off of her as a bad pop love song plays. Then they have sex for three minutes. The sex was so interesting I only got distracted by playing a flash web game for 2:57 of it!

As the new couple are exploring each others with chopstick and latex, Emmanuelle goes to visit Keiko at her home. Aysia Lee lays it on extra thick that Keiko is a shy woman, and Emmanuelle grills her, as she heard that Keiko had a boyfriend from another geisha. It turns out it was the blonde geisha planting false rumors, and Keiko also says the Geisha Code prevents her from talking about her feelings for Justin. Damn the Geisha Code! It’s been nothing but trouble from day one! Emmanuelle gives Keiko the heart necklace after Keiko says she’s committed to making sure Justin is happy, not making sure she herself is happy. The next day, Justin tells Emmanuelle that he met a new geisha, so he doesn’t need Keiko anymore. Emmanuelle is shocked, but Justin says he’ll buy Keiko a nice gift. Then the blonde walks in and says “No, buy it for me instead! I’m your princess!” Emmanuelle notes that it’s “princess” not “geisha,” instantly pegging her for what she is. She ain’t calling her a golddigger, but she ain’t hanging with no broke espionage equipment salesmen… Emmanuelle convinces Justin to have one more massage from Keiko, and gives him the heart headband so he’ll know if Keiko has real love feelings for him, as he says he will tell Keiko he loves her if she loves him. Emmanuelle then reports back to base camp that it all worked out.

WAIT??? We DON’T get the sex? BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Hardly! Emmanuelle gives the rest in a flashback, even though she wasn’t there. Justin goes in to get his massage, and Keiko gets naked to give the massage to him. We get to see full frontal Aysia Lee, and it is a glorious sight. However, the FFN is surprising to Justin, who gets up from the table wanting to give her a massage, telling her it would give him pleasure. Keiko mentions she’s been told he is leaving with another geisha, and Justin tells her he isn’t, and that he loves her. Therefore, the equipment worked and transmitted her feelings of love to him. She’s happy, but can’t express her love because her mom was a geisha, and her mom before her was a geisha in the Emperor’s royal court, so they can’t have lovers because of the Geisha Code. The Geisha Code her grandma and mom obviously violated somehow because where did Keiko come from, spontaneous generation? It doesn’t matter, as they kiss and are in love regardless. Take that, Geisha Code!! Emmanuelle is heading to Vegas for part three of the trip, but first must get one more massage from the Japanese Hotel girl. Now it is time for Episode III: Revenge of the Emmanuelle!

Emmanuelle is visiting her two best friends, who are guys, of course. A limo driver is bringing a guy who sounds like a third-rate Steve Buscemi to a deserted place in the middle of the Nevada desert, an old restaurant. He’s met by Emmanuelle and Bill. Bill? Who the crap is Bill? Bill is one of Emmanuelle’s best friends, and the other guy is her other best friend, Jon. They have been trying to make a deal to help a nonprofit organization for a while now, as Emmanuelle loves charity (and Sarah, and Vanessa, and Jessica, etc..) Jon is hesitant, so Emmanuelle calls out two girls from the back room, who both strip and dance to a techno-ish song. Emmanuelle would be a great friend, whenever she disagreed with you, she’d bring out strippers to dance for you until you agree with her. Emmanuelle for President! I’m surprised that isn’t a series entry yet, she’s fought Dracula and Zombies for Pete’s sake! Treaty negotiations and the Iraq crisis are child’s play. As the strippers don’t seem to work on Jon, the next step is Emmanuelle bringing out one of his old girlfriends, Maya. Jon still loves her, even though he left her to go and do business, which broke her heart. They have sex in the kitchen of the restaurant, and pour chocolate syrup all over each other. Good thing this restaurant hasn’t been abandoned for too long, eh? The sex scene is the most interesting so far, even if it is all food covered and thus a specialized fetish niche.

After the sex, we find out that the project they want to have Jon help fund will be publishing DNA sequences on the internet, so doctors can send in patients’ samples and look for differences. This is all good science and is similar to what I used to do for a living, except they blow the whole thing by going a bit overboard. They claim that then you can inject the correct sequences back into the patients to cure them. That won’t work. First, there is no “correct” sequence for most genes, but there are sequences that create better proteins than others. Genetic diseases would have some sort of flaw in protein creation. The major flaw is you can’t just inject DNA into people, DNA codes for genes that make proteins in the body comprised of amino acids. The mutations on the DNA changes the codes that may cause different amino acids be produced, which alters how the protein folds, affecting its functionality. The correct solution is usually to supply the correct proteins or other products to the patients, but that can’t be done in many cases, such as when the proteins are too involved in something such as structural work (genetic bone diseases such as Osteogenesis Imperfecta, for example.) Still, it has much potential and can lead to drug development once you identify the problems causing genetic disorders. Mr. Wizard time is over, let’s get back to the movie that is about Emmanuelle boning people and people reading their emotions via psychic transmitters, which you notice I didn’t spend a long paragraph complaining about ITS feasibility. That’s how we roll here at TarsTarkas.NET.

Jon says no way, but the two won’t let him leave without a yes answer, so Emmanuelle trots out another ex-girlfriend, Annika, and they have another almost identical conversation about why he left and that he’s still in love with her. Not that we care about that, they then move on to a not identical sex scene, taking place in a pink Cadillac. Crushed velvet seats. Something is oozing, but it isn’t the pink Cadillac going down the street. The sex is over now, and Emmanuelle is still trying to convince him. You’d think he’d be willing to do anything now, or at least want a drink of Gatorade. Emmanuelle uses her new wristwatch communication device that was sent from the home base to help eavesdrop, but Jon is altering the deal so he gets all the money, not a research institute. Jon must think he’s Darth Vader, and Bill is Lando, but Bill refuses to agree to the new terms. They argue about money until Emmanuelle brings out a third girl that Jon loves, Sheeba, who is one of the Moroccan Sultan’s harem girls! There is some continuity after all! He agrees to a real deal then, and gets ready for some hot Sheeba sex in the back of the limo as they leave. Emmanuelle and Bill also have some sex in the restaurant, previous conversation implying Bill and Jon had never got it on with Emmanuelle, probably the only people left in the world. So we got sex in the limo, sex in the restaurant, two ex-girlfriends who seemed to have revanished, and two strippers who also vanished. Sex sex sex. Hey, you like sex? Because this movie has sex. R-rated sex, but still sex.

Plus the actress playing Emmanuelle, Holly Sampson, is or was working as an escort in LA, so you can probably have sex with her if your credit card has a high enough limit. But I probably wouldn’t if I were you, you might catch some sort of Moroccan AIDS.

Rated 4/10 (Cute, Better movie, It is still a better movie, Aysia Lee for a bonus point!)

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