Keep Uwe Boll away from this, but Asteroids, the video game that is only one year younger than me, it getting a movie made out of Universal! Sure, it has no characters, no plot (besides “Soot them asteroids!”), and no relevance to the modern gamers who didn’t grow up with it, but why stop there?

HR sez:

Universal has won a four-studio bidding war to pick up the film rights to the classic Atari video game “Asteroids.” Matthew Lopez will write the script for the feature adaptation, which will be produced by Lorenzo di Bonaventura.

In “Asteroids,” initially released as an arcade game in 1979, a player controlled a triangular space ship in an asteroid field. The object was to shoot and destroy the hulking masses of rock and the occasional flying saucer while avoiding smashing into both.

Four studios bid for this crap? How many studios will bid for Centipede? (probably SciFi Channel) How many for Combat? Defender? Qix? Pac-Man? Zaxxon?

The asteroids better be sent to smash into earth from aliens who get shot the crap up by the spaceship dude.

I am just hoping for Yars’ Revenge, the movie!