Gehara: The Dark and Long Hair Monster (Review)

Gehara: The Dark and Long Hair Monster

aka Chohatsu Daikaiju Gehara aka Long-Haired Giant Monster: Gehara

Directed by Kiyotaki Taguchi

Gehara is a made for TV short that is the brainchild of cult entertainer Jun Miura, who wrote the screenplay. Special effects guru Shinji Higuchi supervised production on the short film, and it was directed by Kiyotaka Taguchi (who also did the independent kaiju film G.) It aired on Japan’s NHK network in February 24th, 2009. It hit the internet thanks to a Japanese YouTube-like site, and thus TarsTarkas.NET was able to watch it.

Hideo Akihara (Ken Osawa) – Hideo Akihara is a slacker who finds new purpose in life investigating the new monster Gehara. Ken Osawa was in Samurai Fiction
Momoko Akihara (Mina Fujii) – Hideo’s sister who doesn’t have much to do, though it looks like she would have a bigger role in the sequel.
Tsuruko Akihara (Mitsuko Oka) – Matriarch of the Akihara clan and also doesn’t do much doing to the short nature of the film.
Professor Mikami (Shiro Sano) – Professor who explains technical details of the monster attack to Hideo and others. Shiro Sano was also in kaiju films Godzilla 2000, Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack, and Godzilla Final Wars)
Gehara (???) – Gehara is very hairy. He is not only a giant monster, but a long haired ghost, thus killing two birds with one stone. Evolution may have killed its monster with Head & Shoulders, but here it would only prevent Gehara from getting dandruff!

Two drunk guys on a boat are out being drunk guys on a boat when suddenly the boat is rocked. And not in the “If this boat is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin'” type way! Outside, a giant mass of hair is rising up from the ocean depths. They freak, and soon the hair is smashing in and grabbing them as the boat is getting smashed up. It is a giant monster with long creepy hair!!!!!!

The monster roars as the boat burns and we get credits. It is Gehara in case you weren’t sure and thought it might be another hairy monster.

Hideo Akihara is so intrigued by the story on the news he rushes to the hospital, where a survivor is being interviewed in bed, he is hairless. The victim has an irresistible urge to rip off the hair of others, which he does to one unfortunate guy. Hideo then stumbles across a shrine in the woods filled with bald dudes who seem to worship a hair monster. (The head priest is played by Tomorowo Taguchi.) They chase him, but then they all see the smashed trees that betray the monster’s presence.

A happy couple at an oceanside cliff get chomped by Gehara as their camera takes pictures. Now there is photographic proof of the monster, and soon the world’s news is abuzz about the exploits of Gehara. Hair-covered wreckage is found all along the coasts of Japan.

Gehara attacks a building in Tokyo, smashing stuff up and getting on the news. As people flee, tanks roll in to start blasting the beast. Soon everyone starts getting sick from the smell of burning hair. Some white guy with terrible Japanese comes in with a plan.

The plan is…a giant fan! Soon the smell is blown away, the hair is blown back, a lady’s skirt is blown up (to cheers) and buildings are being blown apart! Is it safe to say this blows? Muhaha, obvious jokes are the best jokes. Gehara is then blasted by tanks, falls over, and crashes under buildings. People cheer, but then the monster gets up and heads to the forest.

Gehara is bombed by some jets…and then collapses in the lake. Gehara is dead.

And another monster movie comes to an end, and the kanji tells us it is The End!

Wait! A UFO smahses through the END kanji and flies to the lake! Squeaky-voiced aliens who are Xiliens crossed with those robotmen you can see in the park performing for spare change declare they are taking Gehara, and the film goes all Godzilla vs. Monster Zero as Gehara is tractor beamed out of the lake. Then movie turns into extended trailer mode, as it becomes a preview for a Part 2 that I don’t know if it will get made. Gehara is attacking again, the aliens are demanding things (and squeaking), and humanity is doomed unless Momoko does something with a scroll/Beta Capsule something. Will she become Ultraman-girl? With hair? There are lots of explosions and stuff set to epic music.

So is that a preview of what might come if they get more money? Or is it coming, because they already films a lot of things blowing up to get that stuff made? We shall see, but for now I will say this is pretty good for a quick short. Too bad the better-looking stuff appeared to just be a preview.

Rated 7/10 (Drunky, culty, hairy, tangly, explosiony, pointy, homagey)

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