Today, Operation Total Mayhem 7 has reached Phase 5 with the capture of tanks by my pirate army! The tanks have been switched with decoy styrofoam tanks for when the Russian navy comes to blow the pirates out of the water. That’s why I only subcontract out my pirate armies for missions like this that will have massive reprisals. My private pirate army would have no problem repelling dozens of Russian vessels. The world must be prepared for the mastery of Dr. Mobusu!

Pirates seize ship carrying tanks, ammo

(CNN) — A Ukrainian ship carrying tanks and ammunition has been seized by pirates off the coast of Kenya, the Ukrainian Defense Ministry told CNN.

The vessel Faina, flying a Belize flag, was headed to the Kenyan port of Mombasa after departing from Nikolayev, Ukraine, according to Lt. Col. Konstantin Sadilov, spokesman for the defense ministry.

He said it was seized by pirates on Thursday not far from its destination.

According to the defense ministry, the ship was carrying 33 Soviet-made T-72 tanks, tank artillery shells, grenade launchers and small arms.

The weapons were sold to Kenya by Ukraine, said Ukraine Defense Minister Yuri Yekhanurov, according to the Interfax-Ukraine news agency.

He said the entire shipment was contracted and carried out by Ukrspetzexport, Ukraine’s state arms exports monopoly, and it would know better exactly what was on board.