A new movie to infest theaters everywhere, The Hottie and the Nottie is a Paris Hilton vehicle that will become yet another example of why movies today suck. February 8th will be a day of sorrow, a day to wear black. The “plot” involves a guy returning to his hometown to track down the girl he is in love with, only to find out that the reason she is still single is that she has a very ugly, very clingy friend that he has to find a date for in order to get into Paris Hilton’s character’s panties. This will of course lead to lots of hilarious hijinks and not a bunch of bad writing and crude jokes. Plus, it turns out that the guy will be falling for the ugly girl, probably after a makeover. Isn’t it great Hollywood is all about people falling for the ugly girl, but only after the ugly girl becomes beautiful, which involves shedding her glasses and ponytails. Another story about being superficial masquerading as a film about accepting ugly people.

How can you go wrong with a poster like that? One hopes they are handing out razor blades at the screenings so you can end your torment.