2013
Written by Thunder Levin
Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante
Helen Hunt, where are you??
And lo, it came to pass that Sharknado did air on SyFy. An event film, it became a social media sensation, though the ratings failed to live up to the hype. How much was just people thinking they were too good to watch, and how much was the lamented switch to new SyFy movies on Thursday, I cannot say. But saw Sharknado I did, and thus, now we shall all learn about the Sharknado!
Duck Hunt world champion!
Through it all, we follow surfing legend Finly “The Fin” Shepard, as he attempts to save his children and ex-wife from the swarms of sharks. Fin wasn’t always there for his family, but he’s there now, and has to mend the wounds while avoiding shark wounds. The journey is also an excuse to explain whey they just don’t hole up at the top of a tall building until the storm passes. Fin is also a guy who can’t leave lots of innocent people to die, so at times he goes and risks his life to save strangers. At one point this literally stops the film as he saves a busload of kids. But it’s nice to see a hero do heroic things and think of others, and not see people as just collateral damage for his conflict.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Army of Sharkness!
I’ll teach you to use that Shark Attack 3 line on my teenage daughter!
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Hey, it’s a SHARK TANK!
Freakin’ Hangover sequels!
As a group of college students celebrate in Las Vegas over Spring Break, a furious windstorm unlike any other descends upon the city. Hotel after hotel, the famed Vegas Strip is ripped apart by massive tornadoes of sand and hurricane-like winds. Nelson and Olive discover that an ancient Egyptian curse has been awakened, and together with classic Vegas singer Sal, they must find a way to stop it before the legendary city is entirely destroyed.
You can see the trailer on the Starz Global site. Blast Vegas also features Summer Bishil, Michael Steger, Andrew Lawrence, Brooke Anne Smith, Jillian Nelson, and even cameos by directors John Landis and Joe Dante. Director Jack Perez also gave us Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and Wild Things 2!
We need more Elvises in SyFy flicks!
All hail the Sharknado! The trailer is up, the movie premieres July 11th (a Thursday) on SyFy, and we will be watching and waiting and demanding Sharknado deaths, Sharknado destruction, Sharknado 90210, and Sharknado Tara Reid.
Sean Cain directs and writes, and Jurassic Block stars Ray Wise, Vernon Wells, Kevin Gage, Dana Melanie, Kayla Carlyle, and Monique Parent.
A trio of sorority girls are tossed in the drunk tank after a wild party gone wrong. They have to team up with some nasty characters to survive the night after a pack of Velociraptors get loose when a secret convoy is diverted from their original destination to the bowels of the jail.
2012
Written by Brian Brinkman and Micho Rutare
Directed by Bruce Davison
Packed to the gills with crazy action, former stars, and massive carnage, Asylum’s Bigfoot is an entertaining SyFy feature that also doubles as political commentary. Bigfoot is relentless with action sequences, the very first shots are of various animals being devoured up the food chain, until we reach man shooting a bear. Man who is quickly taken out by a huge Bigfoot! Bigfoot will run rampage through the local town of Deadwood, smashing cars, trucks, and chomping the heads off of people. There is an energy in Bigfoot that keeps it chugging along, character dismissing any attempts to stop and think as they rush into one crazy plan after another, all while Bigfoot is smashing and eating.
Bigfoot is a sequel in spirit to Mega Python vs. Gateroid. Like that film, it features two faded stars (instead of 80s pop icons Tiffany and Debbie Gibson, we have former 60s child stars Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams) who argue constantly. The monster battle aspect has been dumped for just constant monster action. Bigfoot features more minor stars in supporting roles than MPvG, but both do feature a musical icon getting killed just after they appear (Micky Dolenz gets chomped in MPvG, while Alice Cooper gets punted in Bigfoot!) Even the ending is similar, but more on that in a little bit.
Bigfoot is part of the Icy May series for MOSS – The Mysterious Order of the Skeleton Suit. And if you are wondering why something for May is showing up in June on TarsTarkas.NET, you must be new here! Heck, our March theme (March of Godzilla 2013) is still going on! Further Icy May entries include Gaddaar at both Beth Loves Bollywood and at FourDK, Yeti Curse of the Snow Demon at The Horror!?, Snow Devils at Exploder Button, Fist of B-List meets The Iceman Cometh, and The Great Silence at Teleport City.
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