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alley cat movie
InBad, Movie Reviews

Alley Cat (Review)

April 28, 2005By

Alley Cat


1982
Starring
Karin Mani as Billie
Robert Torti as Johnny
Michael Wayne as Scarface

Women revenge flicks are a guilty pleasure, especially trashy eighties ones. My pleasure reaches full heights with this entry into the genre. It has all the trimmings: cute girl, tough girl, corrupt cops, girl shoots people, women in jail, gratuitous nudity, villains straight from a stereotype convention, and terrible lawyers. The striking Karin Mani is Belinda “Billie” Clark, a gruff, no-nonsense type of gal who doesn’t hesitate to kick butt of the scum of society that threaten her. As a karate expert and also a crack shot, she takes down all the men who stand in her way and harm her family. Corrupt judges, dirty cops, and the bottom feeders in the park best get out of the way, when the Alley Cat comes, revenge will be had!

Task Force
InBad, Movie Reviews

Task Force (Review)

April 10, 2005By

Task Force

aka Yit huet jui keung (literally: Hot Blood is the Strongest)

1997
Starring
Eric Tsang Chi-wai as LuLu
Karen Mok as Shirley
Charlie Yeung as Fanny
Leo Ku as Rod Lin

Karen Mok is in this movie! Sure, some other things happened, but I wasn’t paying much attention to that, as Karen Mok is in this movie! Karen Mok makes anything better. Even movies like this, that come off like a pilot of a TV cop show. It also manages to be a romantic comedy when it’s not being an action comedy or police drama. This movie is a Jackson Pollock-type splattering of genres. The jumping into the lives of the minor characters (such as Karen Mok!) add to the film, and keep it from being another forgettable Hong Kong cop movie. There are a lot of those, but don’t ask me for examples, as I’ve forgotten them all! (I bet now you wish I’d forgot stupid jokes like that. One day, one day…)


InBad, Movie Reviews

Haunted Office

April 3, 2005By

Haunted Office

aka Office yauh gwai
Haunted Office
2002
Starring
Karen Mok as Pat
Shu Qi as Shan
Jordan Chan as Richard
Stephen Fung as Ken
Haunted Office
A trilogy of Terror! Wait, that’s owned by some other movie? Who cares, this is from China, bootlegs rule all, they can steal the slogan! Okay, fine. A movie with three intertwining stories, but not entirely intertwining as the third doesn’t start until the first one ends. Story number two just gets mixed up in the others, like it can’t stand on its own. Nor can it, but entirely because of the ending as you will see below. The first story has Karen Mok in it, so I will talk a lot about Karen Mok in this synopsis as she is hot and better than this movie. Shu Qi stars in the third story, she is hot as well, but to me doesn’t rate as high as Karen. As it’s all about me, I’m free to harp on her however I wish.
Haunted Office

Total Recall
InBad, Movie Reviews

Total Recall (Review)

March 26, 2005By


Total Recall


1990
Starring
Arnold Schwarzenegger as Douglas Quaid/Hauser
Rachel Ticotin as Melina
Sharon Stone as Lori
Michael Ironside as Richter
Mel Johnson Jr. as Benny
Ronny Cox as Vilos Cohaagen

Get your ass to Mars!

Paul Verhoeven directs this Philip K. Dick story turned action film, starring my governor. Full of Verhoeven staple actors and Verhoeven staple mindless action (or satire action, as he likes to make most of it.) Now, that style may work well with obvious pieces such as Robocop and Starship Troopers, but it feels out of place at times in movies like this and Hollow Man. Not that this is a terrible movie, it’s just a few of the actions scenes seem like they are slightly out of it compared to the general tone of the film. This movie is also drowning in Star Trek actors, you can’t kick over a mutant in Venusville without seeing half a dozen scatter.


Santo vs the Martians
InBad, Movie Reviews

Santo Contra la Invasion de los Marcianos (Review)

March 19, 2005By


Santo Contra la Invasion de los Marcianos

aka Santo vs. the Martian Invasion

1966
Starring
Santo as El Santo
Manuel Zozaya as Prof. Ordorica
Wolf Ruvinskis as Argos
Ham Lee as Morpeo
El Nazi as Martian
Maura Monti as Aphrodite


Mexican Masked Wrestler El Santo, the Silver Mask. A Legend. Starred or was featured in 52 movies in his career. We can honestly say, this is one of them. Actually, this is pretty good for a Mexican Martian invasion movie. It fits in nicely with many low budget American science fiction films that were coming out at the time, and since it involves Martians invading Mexico, and a masked wrestler as Earth’s only hope, you know it’s more of a superhero film than anything else. In fact, El Santo had his own comic series in Mexico, and many of his films and other Luchadores Enmascarados (Masked Wrestlers) films are science fiction/horror/comic book movies at their cores. These movies can be a load of fun, or just a big load. Despite the ridiculousness of much of this movie, I enjoyed it, as it did a few things American movies rarely did back then.

Super Ninjas
InBad, Movie Reviews

Super Ninjas (Review)

February 23, 2005By

Super Ninjas

aka Wu dun ren shu aka Chinese Super Ninjas aka Five Element Ninjas


1982
Starring
Ricky Cheng Tien-Chi as Shao Tien-hao
Lo Meng as Ji Shang
??? as Lead Ninja
??? as Yen Chang
Chen Hei Psi as Mr. Kang



A Shaw Brothers film. Quality Kung Fu, and Ninjas, too! Half the names I got I can’t find in cast lists, so we’ll just have to wing it for some of them.

After an announcement about the authenticity of the Japanese weapons used in this film, the story begins. Two groups are vying for control of the Kung Fu world. Mr. Kang controls the group that is challenging for the position, they are dressed in darker colors and are the bad guys. The group in charge is led by Yen Chang, and the group is all dressed in white outfits. Shao Tien-hao is a young member of the white team, he will be important later so we mention him here. There is a whole slew of names given for the tournament fighters on both sides, most of which I didn’t catch. There are ten rounds to be fought, one at a time. White team guy with a bo staff beats a Dark Team guy with two sawblade looking weapons for round one. Round two is won by a White team member named Mu Fin (Muffin?) who has daggers. More and more rounds are fought, with the White team winning each time. The final round is ready to be fought, and Mr. Kang has a surprise: a Japanese Samurai is brought out to represent his side. Yen Chang sends one of his men to fight him, a guy wielding an axe, and also wielding a noodly dubbed voice. Axe Guy loses, and is taunted by the Samurai “Lose of a fight equals loss of one’s life for a samurai!” Axe Guy kill himself. Now a new challenger for the Samurai, a guy named Ji Shang. Ji Shang will fight against the Katana wielding samurai with just his bare hands. Ji Shang is a much better fighter than Axe Guy, and even eventually takes Samurai’s sword. They pause, as Ji Shang has won. Samurai gets a different sword, which he will use for seppuku. Samurai gives Mr. Kang a letter with the name of a ninja on it, and throws a ring at Yen Chang that will be used to identify the ninja when he arrives. Then Samurai dies.

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