Guardians of the Free Republics threaten all governors

[adrotate banner=”1″]Even the half-man, half-machine governors like mine. Who are the Guardians of the Free Republics? Just another bunch of crazy mo-fos who think the US government made deals with Satan and so they formed a committee to become the new government. Is it just that easy (I am sure Susan Herbert thinks so…)

So here is an article detailing the FBI is now investigating these guys:
As of Wednesday, more than 30 governors had received letters saying if they don’t leave office within three days they will be removed, according to an internal intelligence note by the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security. The note was obtained by The Associated Press.

The FBI expects all 50 governors will eventually receive such letters.

Governors whose offices reported getting the letters included Jennifer Granholm of Michigan, Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, Chet Culver of Iowa, Dave Heineman of Nebraska, Jim Gibbons of Nevada, Brad Henry of Oklahoma, Mike Rounds of South Dakota, Bob McDonnell of Virginia, and Gary Herbert of Utah, where officials stepped up security in response to the letter.

So just who the frak are the Guardians of the Free Republics? Are they like the Guardians of the Galaxy? And if so, do they have a blue guy like the Guardians of the Galaxy do?

Let’s go to the official site of the Guardians of the Free Republics and do some investigative journalism.


Private web site under non-corporate venue.
This seal conveys immunity from public scrutiny, discretion, regulation or trespass.
Trespassers beware.
Co-claimant fee applies to impairment


Uh… Accept!

Okay, we’re in! I hacked that Gibson like a 1337 pro!

On their official site, they have the Restore America Plan! It contains such gems as:

-Terminate illicit corporations posing as legitimate governments, in particular the territorial jurisdiction United States Federal Corporation (corp. ref. 28 U.S.C. 3002) posing as the de jure United States of America.
I’m not sure that’s how that works…

-End the foreclosure nightmare (for borrowing against one’s own credit).
I guess even defense for the free market ends when you can’t pay your housing payments!

-End the perversion of marriage into a commercial system of state-issued privileges through the so-called “marriage license” whereby incorporated “courts” presume the “right” to trespass on families and kidnap children.
Someone got their children taken away from them!

-Reabsorb all de facto actors into lawful de jure capacity
What about reality TV show “actors”?

-Quietly mirror the strategies of 1933 thereby using their (our) institutions, military and public officials to undo eighty years of subterfuge without provoking alarm, controversy or armed conflict.
Oh, let’s do all this in secret, guys! Don’t tell no one!

-Forgive all corporate actors who repent for their State-sponsored crimes against mankind. Remove the recidivists from office.
If you beg on the altar before the Guardians of the Free Republics, you may find mercy. Or get thrown into the Sarlacc!

-Do all of the above, and more, peacefully, discreetly, quietly and honorably, behind the scenes, without public proclamations or provocative actions against a general public that is mostly unaware of the hijacking of their free de jure American republics, and their hapless media.
Seriously, don’t talk about Fight Club!

Why are they doing this? Let’s look at their Rational

For those who are concerned about opening the door to satanic forces, permit me to reassure you. The Guardian Elders deliberated with great sobriety the wisdom of sitting on our hands while the march to World War III continues. We asked ourselves if we could continue, in good conscience, to do nothing while so many of our friends and colleagues are suffering hardship. We asked ourselves if we are enjoined by the Book of Revelation from acting on behalf of freedom and mankind. After much prayer and soul-searching, we concluded unanimously that the need for action was self-evident. We are called to action.

Guardian Elders? World War III? Is this someone’s bad fan-fiction?

We debated how best to accomplish our goals. Could we reasonably expect to restore Biblical law to a devoutly secular population that cherishes television, promiscuity, physical debasement and electronic devices with religious fervor, and that suffers the warped belief that advertisements for personal hygiene products and Viagra in our homes does not debase our children?
If children learn about tampons, the devil wins!!

Could we convey consciousness regarding matters of Law to a society that breaths “Cops” and “Law & Order” and worships the bar associations “legal” system franchise where once the law of the Land reigned supreme?
Hey, you better not mess with Detectives Stabler and Benson!

Eventually we concluded that “agreeing with thine enemy” was the ONLY prayerful way to bring the Lord to the people. The Restore America Plan capitalizes on THEIR belief system as a vehicle for relieving corporate tyranny. In due time, the higher goal of salvaging the souls of mankind can be addressed.
In due time=when we get around to it, we’ll save mankind, but first we’re going to conquer the country and ban tampon commercials!!

We decided that restoring, in principle, the Constitutional institutions through December 19, 1860 was the approach MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED (and that’s the bottom line, failure being unacceptable).
HAHAHAHA! They want to restore Slavery!

Rather, we follow a simple formula:

WE DECLARE – UNDER GOD – IT IS SO – WE ARE BACK

exactly the same formula used by the original declaration of 1776. That’s what we mean by “understanding who we are.”
Guess who’s back? Back again? Shady’s back. Tell a friend!

Introduction
Replace corporate government and restore the American republic
… by March 31?

Oops! I guess you’re a bit late there, buddy.

If you are tired of being subjected to a corporation posing as a legitimate government that would arrest you for refusing to pray to corporate courts or give up your land or pay taxes to the Rothschilds or exhibit a state-issued confession of subject-class citizenship, then we invite you to take a moment to read the one page
Rothschilds? I knew we’d hit conspiracy paydirt!

After a year of face-to-face negotiations with high-ranking members of the armed forces of the united States of America, the leaders of the freedom movement have joined together to bring you a four step comprehensive remedy—the Restore America Plan—whereby the military has agreed to follow the orders of the legitimate de jure government upon proper restoration and execution.
Really??? You REALLY met with the military, and they agreed to stop everything and follow YOU? Who is your drug dealer?

The four step Restore America Plan was proposed by high-ranking members of the military who are tired of taking orders from a corporate CEO, and who recognize the People as the last chance to avoid a third world war.
No, wait, now the military met them and proposed to them the new rules!

But have you ever wondered how the bankers were able to replace de jure government around the world in 1933 without a hint of protest?
What religion are these “bankers”?

The Restore America Plan is a war college restoration strategy for regaining control quietly, efficiently and quickly without provoking controversy, ridicule, violence or civil war. In fact, the need for expediency eliminates any thought of making public proclamations. Restoration will occur behind the scenes in a manner designed to get results, not glory. We will NOT utter public statements which make us feel good but provoke ridicule and conflict. We will NOT attempt to re-educate an unconscious population that was raised on corporate slavery.
Being quiet did nothing, so now you got attention! Here comes the ridicule and conflict!

As you will see by the Warrants and Orders, the De jure Grand Juries will work behind the scenes, methodically dismantling the satanic institutions and rituals of 1933 and 1865.
So winning the Civil War and ending slavery=Satanic Pact. Helping poor people with public aid programs=Satanic Pact. Claiming to want to end slavery by restoring actual slavery with an 1860 Constitution=Mission from God. Got it!

To preserve spiritual purity, the Restore America Plan features forgiveness. At its core, it is peaceful and non-violent. Having so ensured our dominion over all the earth, actors who repent their crimes against mankind will be forgiven. With forgiveness as our hallmark, we do not waive our legitimate and necessary right as lawful authority to arrest, try and sentence those incorrigibles who use de facto power to impair de jure authority, or otherwise attempt to hijack the lawful de jure office. And we will use the very public institutions that once prosecuted us to execute those orders as needed.
Kneel before Zod!

ORDERS TO THE GOVERNORS AND THE MILITARY

The Declaration is a mere one page, and has been written to stand alone among history’s milestones. It is followed by Warrants and Orders of the De jure Grand Juries, each meticulously planned to solve your problems and issues (travel, diplomatic status, foreclosure, taxes, unlawful prosecutions) through cooperation rather than resistance. We are mindful that initiating a financial crisis, violence, or banker’s retaliation could be fatal to the cause. So every step has been debated and crafted with outcome in mind.
I didn’t know you could order all the governors and the military by writing on your blog. Hey, Arnold, buy me some McDonald’s Ice Coffee!

HOW TO JOIN

4. Subscribe two original copies of the covenant of office document with your signature and seal (red right thumb print).

5. Affix your signature to five (5) separate signature pages in blue ink only. The authors functioning as Guardian Elders will be compiling these pages into four original documents (and one backup), and certifying the signatures with our own.
Remember– only red ink for thumbs, and blue ink for names…because…1860 Constitution!

Well, I guess we’re boned. These guys did have a meeting, so that means we have to do what they say. Unless we have our own meeting!

Wingnut Web – Zero Tolerance In Action!

[adrotate banner=”1″]Resistnet.com got pretty angry this past week when people found out what was being said publicly on Resistnet.com. It’s like they don’t want anyone to know it is a cesspool of ignorance and hate! So they decide to once again repeat their unenforced zero tolerance policy. Wow, way to do nothing at all! The secret no one wants to admit is that if Resistnet.com got rid of all the crazy people, the only members would be the four fake accounts we set up to monitor them. And that is not enough of a source of donations for Grassfire.org president Steve Elliott to use to pay his mortgag— I mean, further the conservative cause!

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Of course, right after this was posted, the Resistnet Admins and Moderators got right back to not moderating at all. Okay, they did do one thing, they came over to TarsTarkas.NET and started hanging around in the comments and acting like three-year-olds. Streetsweeper is our biggest fan! I guess that’s how they are moderating their site, they plan to yell at us.

Gun avatar, talking of REAL WAR, lying about Obama planning to murder children, been a member for a year – All Acceptable Resistnet.com Policy!
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Racism – Acceptable Resistnet.com Policy!
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Are all blacks prejudice? Why don’t they want to hang around with a bunch of old white racists? It must be racism!
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Oh, yes, you are.

Thanks to the new Zero Tolerance policy, this post gets a warm welcome….
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Gun Avatar Fuckwit is back, with more racism – Acceptable Resistnet.com Policy!
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No, how can I convince these guys of my crazy beliefs?
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All black countries are terrible – Acceptable Resistnet.com Policy!
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The racism is even starting to annoy the guy starting the thread, who was asking for advice, not people screaming that blacks are the real racists
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What is the chance that TWO guys with Star Trek episodes show up on Resistnet.com on the same week?
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Wake up!
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Old guys talking about kill zones and lying about HCR – All Acceptable Resistnet.com Policies!
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Secession is inevitable – Acceptable Resistnet.com Policy!
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America should see a marriage counselor
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If your town doesn’t have its own money, you are DEAD!!! – Acceptable Resistnet.com Policy!
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Pledging 100 heads for every patriot killed by government agents – Acceptable Resistnet.com Policy!
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Wait, I thought we wanted our cities and states to be making their own money? And now Resistnet is just some guy ranting about the garbageman not taking his buckets of mystery goo.
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Let’s revisit Secession – Acceptable Resistnet.com Policy!
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Not having a problem with the n-word and even using it – Acceptable Resistnet.com Policy!
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Chris Rock making that joke did not justify your racism.

As you can see, Zero Tolerance inaction! Will Resistnet ever enforce their site policies? Or will we just get more angry moderators posting here instead? Find out…next time!

Wingnut Web – FoxNation.com is close on brown power LING on the porch Edition

[adrotate banner=”1″]FoxNation.com has been allowing terrible comments for months and months despite their moderation system (the moderators don’t seem to mind many of the horrible messages even if they are reported) and they have been part of the recent increase in noise by the fringe elements of the Teabaggers (by fringe we mean almost every teabagger). As the Tea Party continues to get more and more violent, their online rhetoric grows at the same pace. These comments are from just before the HCR bill passed the house, but the posting got delayed because Resistnet’s response was funnier and more crazy. But now it is time for FoxNation.com to shine!

Let’s start out with this guy, Liberal Pacifier. Foxnation.com let’s people use pictures as their user names (let’s might be another term for “not smart enough to figure out how to prevent”) and this guy takes the cake. You might think this is a one-off deal and he quickly got banned. You’d be wrong, as he posted over 100 times in a span of hours in just one article comments section I read, which gave the admins plenty of time to ban him had they had a problem with his name.
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Another stellar debater, and he has a familiar friend!
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America is so great we don’t have spell check or the Shift key!
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Another idiot with a picture name. The best part of this article is picturing the tears streaming down Liberal Pacifier’s face when the Dems aren’t blown out in November.
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You might think this comment was in response to something. You’d be wrong.
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I have no idea what this guy is saying.
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Giving health care to everyone=inciting rebellion. Good to know.
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Funny how you don’t recognize the consent of the majority when it involves them voting in a black guy as president
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Help, the cashier lady is saying we’ll all be cannibals because we are smart! Wait, what?
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This guy is just full of win!
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Probably because they aren’t insane. Okay, that insane.
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Hey, someone calling for a military coup of the USA, on FoxNation.com, and the moderators approve the comment and leave it up for hours and hours!
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I wonder what the other options Teri W is thinking of are…
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Things are getting pretty stupid, but it’s your side doing the stupid.
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Kill all Wikipedias!
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FoxNation.com is a chore to read and their comments section is filled with bonkers idiots who probably went even more insane after health care passed.

Wingnut Web – Welcome to Commieville, USSA!

[adrotate banner=”1″]The weather was pretty nice today for the fact that the world ended and the US went all commie last night. Didn’t you notice? I am sure the sounds of gnashing of teeth, furious typing on keyboards, and oiling of guns kept you awake until the early morning. That’s what happens when grandpa lives in the next room! So now that the weaksauce non-public option having HCR bill has passed and the US is doomed to become USSR 2: Through the Portal of Time, it is time to laugh at the over-reactions of our friends on the right. Because, laughter is the best medicine. Just last week laughter cured me of cancer. Or maybe it was the chemo. No…it was the laughter.

We’ve covered the Resistnet.com as-it-happened chat first, now let’s visit the message board!

Note that this was posted in the Admin Alerts section of Resistnet.com. The place reserved for the moderators and admins to only start topics!
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Cowboy Jim is still calling for violent government overthrow months after we’ve caught him doing it before with no repercussions from Resistnet.com. TarsTarkas.NET can only conclude they endorse his comments 100%
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Thundercats are HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
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Tee-Hee! When I say “abort”, I mean “murder”!
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This yutz loves the constitution so much he never bothered to read it. Because that would cheapen it. Same with the Bible.
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Getting charged with felony harassment=patriotism
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Anti-corporations, so of course he’s pro-Republican. Makes sense.
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This college kid from Illinois (who is either the greatest troll in the world or the biggest moron in the world) is the new face of American Revolution.
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Some people just can’t handle the fact that they lost the election….
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and now for some fun from around the web!

The American Reenslavement Act of 2010!

What would happen if the fire department was actually privatized...

With more votes happening soon, and Wingnuts freaking out more and more, the next few days will be fun!

Resistnet Reacts Racistly! Live chat logs from the eve of Healthcare Reform

[adrotate banner=”3″]March 21st, 2010 was a historic evening. With the passage of the Healthcare Reform bills America has now entered the First World in terms of providing the most basic of human care to all its citizens (yes just the legal citizens you dopes) and hopefully this historic occasion could also mark the point at which the mass media and those ever so entertaining (read: complaining) Tea Party Patriots, Birthers, Deathers, Uppers, and Downers will finally have something else to laser focus their hate, disdain, and guns towards.

Because of the significance of the evening I decided to skip a really awesome concert and the chance to go out for dinner so I could watch the live Senate debate on CSPAN. I also decided it would be appropriate to spend some time with the one community I’ve embedded with for so long, struggling through this whole debate with. Along with their crazy forums, Resistnet.com also has an equally crazy live chat room where Tea Partiers and like minded individuals can gather to talk and pray and reassure each other that the Communist menace will be beaten back in the good name of the lawd. Below are the best moments from last night’s chat in an edited format (for transparency’s sake I will also provide the unedited logs, but honestly you don’t even need to assume I altered the crazy in these peoples’ words, you really can’t make this stuff up).

Oh also, when I say “best” moments I mean the moments when the Resistnet folks were at their personal “best”, which is to say the words I read last night indicate that the Resistnet community, no matter how their spokespeople paint them, are a bunch of racist, violent, gun-toting, zealously Christian, proud rednecks who would like nothing more than to see our government figured murdered, assassinated, hung, drawn and quartered, simply because they lost their shouting match that’s taken place over the past year and 2 months. I had wished last night would be the culmination and the end of such things, but to be honest I believe that, in the words of the Resisters, “things are only getting started”:

Yay! Sniper assassination party!

Dr. James Lawrenzi speaks for himself

See it’s ok to talk about picking up your gun and killing people because it’s relaxing to some of the Resistnet community

Yup you sure do Dee, but we did see that, we saw all of the crazy that you’re community “supposedly” does not represent.

I thought there wasn’t such a thing as working whites anymore since the latinos move in to town.

How dare those Black and Hispanics go to their own colleges! I’m not racist though, really.

Locked and loaded, with pitchforks (and guns).

If you covered the streets of DC in your blood I’m sure there would be those who would celebrate not having to pay for you in the new Healthcare system.

At this point Rep. John Boehner was giving his passionate remarks about the HC bill, calling to have the senators vote individually so these crazies can identify them and know whose picture to put up on their target ranges.

First they came for my neighbors (who I didn’t like anyway), and I said nothing…

Man even if she was on fire? Nancy Pelosi just can’t catch a break with these people.

Yeah witches are people too (unlike Nancy Pelosi who is some kind of half dog-person, half breakfast pastry)!

So Mellie (who is a big time admin on Resistnet) is welcoming this bill because she won’t be denied coverage for being a woman? Right on sista!

And if you’re happy with your current plans you can keep it!

Yeah, what’s the point of insurance anyw– oh.

It’s all come down to this, the vote has begun.

Too bad old folks will now be transformed into some kind of super immortal race (who will apparently shoot you) with this new Healthcare reform.

The anxiety of the vote got to some people, those would would fantasize about kissing Democrats on the lips (with tongue and everything!)

Oh haha, suddenly that thing I was joking about has become reality for Tana W. Bernard.

The vote is almost at 216 now, most of the Resistnet.com members now admit they’re ready to go to jail for crimes they’re going to commit.

Suddenly the realization that most of these people have wasted the last year of their lives sending faxes to Congress, shouting at politicians, and carrying their guns to protests. Note to self: blame it on Bush.

And finally the watershed moment. The votes have been cast, the bill has passed, now we’re past the point of no return. Time to start “changing” things.

Time to pray to God the politicians die, also time to declare internet silence, mostly due to  the criminal nature of what we want to discuss.

Ok guys and gals, time to get this REVOLUTION STARTED Glenn Beck style!

Yes, F**K talking indeed.

No, we can’t say what we’re really thinking Resistnet administrator Dee because we’re really thinking someone should shoot the president.

What are we all thinking again?

Need new options? Tactics? Winning the War? What ever are they referring to?

Mmmmm KFC.

Tana W. Bernard the lawmakers are going to die soon? Why? It can’t be due to inadequate health coverage can it?

If you turn your protest flag upside down does that mean you’re no longer protesting what the flag represents?

PLANT! EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT AGREE WITH ME IS A PLANT! OBAMA AGENT PLANT!

It’s a slippery slope towards smae sex marriages everyone!

How evil of you!

Linn is too good for a socialist Federal prison.

I think you guys have had this end of times mentality for a while.

Yeah, down with Whitey!

The plants are getting to Moondog6

And on and on and on it goes. At this point in the evening I decided to go outside to smoke a cigarette and eat the rest of the bacon in my house in honor of the historic passage of Healthcare reform. This chat log was long, but long for a reason (there is just so much crazy out there, we need to be aware of it). I’m also sure this is not the end of this kind of rhetoric, nor the end of the Tea Party, Birther, Resistneters or their schemes.

However, no matter how batty, racist, anti-semetic, or violent these people get you can be sure that here at TarsTarkas.net we will be bringing you the raw information you need to know what these people are up to. You can be sure that this is only the beginning of something. It’s sure as hell the beginning of me being able to get affordable and fair healthcare coverage and not get reamed up the ass by insurance companies, but for some others it may as well be the beginning of the end. We can’t say how far any of these people will go to express their outrage against the government but we can only hope that the passing of Healthcare reform will mean a better and healthier life for so many Americans who work hard and deserve to be helped in their darkest hours. Cheers!

EDIT: This is Tars Tarkas with a quick edit, a person claiming to be the real Dr. James Lawrenzi has written us saying the guy on the Resistnet chat is a fake who is stealing his identity. I have no way to verify this fact, but it adds more drama to the mix and I figure it is at least fair to mention it. The other James Lawrenzi claims to be pro-HCR and is very upset.

SECOND EDIT: upon further review, there is no evidence that Dr. James Lawrenzi’s identity was stolen at this time. We are disappointed that there isn’t a vast conspiracy of fake identity trolls on Resistnet.com to expose.