Ready Player Castle Wolfenstein
In all the hubbub of all the video game movies that are getting greenlight again like lightning (crazy, greased, 16-bit lighting!), Castle Wolfenstein is probably the one I think has the best chance of being entertaining. Because it’s so simple. Retro-future dudes kill a bunch of Nazis. It’s so easy that it will be crazy when this gets messed up and suddenly Castle Wolfenstein is about sparkly babies or something. I really don’t trust Hollywood to do anything. But maybe we’re okay for once, as Roger Avary is attached along with Samuel Hadida. They can make okay things.
Castle Wolfenstein is familiar to gamers as Wolfenstein 3D is one of the biggest old school FPS games. It’s so old I actually played it as a kid as opposed to not having time to play it in college. Killing Nazis is one of the few guilt-free things you can do, I highly recommend it.
Even better, there is a built-in Asylum mockbuster version with Super 3D Noah’s Ark!
via Movies.com
Categories: Movie News Tags: Castle Wolfenstein, video game movies
50 Links of Grey
Okay, maybe not 50 links, but here are a bunch of either stories that I never finished or links to cool crap from around the web:
- If you like HUUUUUUUUUGE images and video game movies, this folder filled with giant Wreck-It Ralph images will make your day!
- Assassins Creed is getting a flick! Ubisoft formed Ubisoft Motion Pictures to coproduce with New Regency and Fox (and to better buffer if this bombs!)
the film will follow the adventures of a guy who learns that his ancestors were once deadly assassins. After he’s kidnapped by a shady organization with ties to the Knights Templar, he is forced to travel back through time to collect artifacts.
- An awesome article about the Super Mario Brothers movie and how it became the awesome disasterpiece we all love!
- I do not want to know how much disgusting stuff was all over this thief who would crawl around on theater floors stealing credit cards from purses.
- In case you missed it, the 50 Shades of Grey movie will be written by Kelly Marcel. Thumbs up for having a woman scriptwriter!
- Whatever the heck the comic Insurrection is, it will now be a film. The plot has something to do with clones who fight wars lead a rebellion. But it’s not a prequel to Star Trek: Insurrection, which had the same theme with the Remans and Picard clone. This is a totally original space clone future war Insurrection movie.
- Douglas Sain and Dinesh D’Souza arguing over money from 2016: Obama’s America? Couldn’t happen to nicer people!
- Ninja Dixon fights The Amazing Bulk!
- beyondasophilia gets some Vulgaria!
- Danny at Can’t Stop The Movies gets sent to Stalag 17!
- Beth Loves Bollywood, but she doesn’t love Jimmy!
- Todd wonders why Shahenshah has so little Shahenshah in it!
- BlueprintReviews maps out South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut!
- Here is a kickass video breakdown of Goldeneye from David DeMoss
- Some Kickstarters to fund or flee from:
- Finding Kukan is a neat documentary about Robin Lung locating a lost copy of Kukan, an Oscar-winning documentary that was developed by Li Ling-Ai and Rey Scott. Kukan detailed China’s struggle against Japan during the Pacific War. The film is being restored and Robin Lung is detailing the restoration and a lot of history about the film, Li Ling-Ai, and Rey Scott with Finding Kukan. This chapter of forgotten history looks to be very interesting, and I am hopeful that this will be funded so the final product arrives sooner than later. Official site for Finding Kukan.
- Another film restoration project is Different from the Others (Anders als die Andern), a 1919 silent film that is probably the earliest surviving work about LGBT people. It was directed by Richard Oswald and cowritten by Magnus Hirshfeld. Other LGBT friendly movies of the era were destroyed by the Nazis. The film needs to be restored and then will be archived as part of the Legacy Collection at the UCLA Film & Television Archive, (the world’s largest collection of LGBT moving images with over 20,000 pieces) and prints will be struck for distribution around the country. Different from the Others is another important piece of film history that needs to be preserved for future generations.
- Let’s leave film history for a moment and go to films about history that didn’t really happen. Helen Keller vs Nightwolves sounds ridiculous at first, but then you realize it’s the latest film proposal from the team that brought you FDR: American Badass and other fine films. They even have a cast lined up. Though the historical characters fighting random monsters category is beginning to get overplayed, there is still a place for entertaining and ridiculous fare like this. And Kevin Sorbo is attached, so how can you lose? You can’t.
- And finally, here is some Pacific Rim porn:
WereWorf spills the beans on Castlevania Flick!
Exclusive image of Michael Dorn’s role in Castlevania: The Movie
The Castlevania movie has been long rumored since before the beginning of time, to the point where most thought it a myth. But it is a myth that is gaining a new life as everyone’s favorite prune juice chugging Klingon mentions that he’s playing a werewolf in the film! Michael Dorn mentioned his involvement (and probably Marina Sirtis!) as an ancient werewolf that works for a vampire. He mentioned it was a small role but very physical. Beyond that, this is all we know about the project. We don’t even know who plays Joe Castlevania! What is odd is Dorn is the only person talking, and he’s mentioned it multiple times. Could this really be Castlevania? Or something else destined for SyFy Channel? We shall see….someday….maybe….
Categories: Movie News Tags: Castlevania, Michael Dorn, video game movies
Metal Gear Solid, Oogieloves, and interactive cinema
The big news in the geek universe this week was the announcement of a Metal Gear Solid movie. Talk of the movie threatened to envelope threads in every message board as fans of the franchise began talking about the games and how they are beyond the normal video game and become a truly interactive experience. The main point many of them rightfully attest is that it will be difficult if not impossible to duplicate the anything can happen as the fourth was is shattered to dust feelings as you desperately try to piece together what is going on and what crazy thing you will have to do next. Cinema is largely a one way interactive environment, what happens on screen will happen whether you are paying rapt attention or are dozing off or making out in the back row. I see you back there. Continue making out.
Aside from a few random films mostly on DVD (or that Futurama episode where you can watch Calculon double-check his paperwork!), what happens next is largely out of your control. There are no buttons to push, and no matter how loud you yell at that dumb girl in Friday the 13th Part 17, she’s going to take a shower in the haunted cabin built on the zombie graveyard. All that means is, can Metal Gear Solid survive if it’s not the type of story telling device people expect from it? Sure, many video game to movie adaptations have largely ignored key parts of the original game in order to tell a tale in a new medium (read: graft the franchise onto an existing mediocre script in an attempt to save money!), but most of them are terrible. Metal Gear Solid is one of those franchises that if it is screwed up, whoever directs it will be the new Uwe Boll, even if they go on to direct Gone With the Kane. Hideo Kojima is a literal rock star, I’ve personally seen people wait all day in lines to briefly see him (I saw him get out of the limo and everyone screamed and cheered!) He will not be blamed for it if it fails. That blame will fall on the eventual director and the producer Avi Arad. Arad already appears as an executive producer on all of Marvel’s films due to his ties to the company’s movie studio’s beginnings. He’s running his own production house now, and he has multiple projects in development, including films based on the video games Mass Effect, Uncharted, and inFAMOUS.
Making a Metal Gear Solid movie is not that difficult in theory, the Metal Gear franchise openly borrows from cinema and actors. The key problem arises in making a film that has the same type of feel as the original games. Regardless of how well the eventual film (if any) does, you can be sure people will complain about the smallest details imaginable.
Interactive film does have one more entry, a recent entry. As in this week is the opening weekend entry. And it’s making cinema history! Because it’s bombing so bad! Yes, we’re talking about the Oogieloves! The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure opened Wednesday in 1,500 theaters and made $60,000. Total. That’s $40 per screen. Ouch. Excuse me…Oogieouch! The reason I bring up the Oogieloves film (aside to join in the pile on!) is that the film promotes interactivity among its target audience of 2-5 year olds, having sections where they are prompted to get up and dance and talk to the screen. So there is interactivity in cinema, even if the kids can’t change things. And while it’s occasionally funny wo watch productions of Peter Pan where the audience doesn’t clap for Tinkerbell and she dies, the Oogieloves will never die, and they’re coming for you. With their balloons! The prior record holder for worst film for a major release is Creature, which opened on 1,507 screens for a $220 average.
Could the Metal Gear Solid flick feature sequences where you have to get up and dance? I sure hope so, because I want to read people arguing about it on the internet. Come on, Avi Arad, don’t let me down!
via G4TV
A name means nothing on the battlefield...
Categories: Movie News Tags: Avi Arad, Metal Gear Solid, Oogieloves, video game movies
Rampage getting a movie, no Uwe Boll in sight…
THR is reporting that Rampage is being developed into a feature film. This is the Rampage that involves the giant monsters destroying buildings that was frakking awesome, not whatever the heck Uwe Boll did. As New Line Cinema owns Midway, maybe they’ll mine the library for lots of potential movies. John Rickard is developing this, taking time off from the upcoming Jack the Giant Killer release, which somehow became a big budget film coming out 2012.
For those of you keeping track at home, this is Warner Brothers’s third picture involving giant monsters, as Godzilla and Pacific Rim are both being cofinanced by WB while coming out of Legendary Pictures.
Also, we demand nudity as these monsters revert back to human. It’s just required, okay???
This is how it looked on the Atari 2600!
images ganked from
Categories: Movie News Tags: John Rickard, Rampage, video game movies
Red Faction Origins on SyFy
This Saturday, June 4th, on SyFy Channel we get the premier of the video game movie Red Faction Origins, based on the first person shooter games that feature players fighting for freedom on Mars against the evil Ultor Corporation. Some games in the series take place on Earth, and by 2009’s Red Faction: Guerrilla the game was a third person open world environment (again on Mars). The film Red Faction Origins takes place 25 years after Red Faction: Guerilla and before the upcoming Red Faction: Armageddon. Red Faction Origins stars Brian J. Smith, Robert Patrick, Danielle Nicolet, Tamzin Merchant, Devon Graye, Gareth David-Lloyd, and Kate Vernon. There is a rumor this is a pilot movie and it the ratings are high, we’ll have a Red Faction Origins tv series.
