While all that was happening, movie news was still raining from Heaven. Dang it, world, still going on while I’m busy! What a jerk… So let’s look at some!
**DurianDave at Softfilm had a song mix on Zoë Baxter’s Lucky Cat radio show, and he did a song-by-song breakdown of all his choices.
**The coolest lawsuit of 2012 has happened thanks to some nutter from Belize who claims that some Americans stole a crystal skull from Mayan ruins 88 years ago, and since Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull had a crystal skull in it, it was an unauthorized use of the likeness. Is he asking for a bunch of money from Indiana Jones’ new owner, Disney? You bet! Is his attorney a bankruptcy attorney from Illinois? Of course! Should this lawsuit be thrown out so hard it breaks the sound barrier? Damn skippy!
Just wait until Westinghouse hears about the fridge in the film!
**Robert Zemeckis was doing the press rounds because of Flight and said that the Roger Rabbit 2 script is written and they are just waiting for Disney to get around to financing it. It would be hand drawn and set in the past like the original, the only difference is it will be 3D.
**Tron 3 has gotten a writer and is going forward (probably due to Wreck-It Ralph making so much dough!) despite the second one being terrible and no one at all caring. When this gets close to release, it’s time to short Disney stock again…
**Speaking of Disney losing money, they’re also planning to do a Don Quixote flick with Johnny Depp, but it doesn’t look like it’s the famous The Man Who Killed Don Quixote film that Terry Gilliam was making at one point with Depp when everything fell apart as shown in the documentary Lost in La Mancha.
**Ready Player One‘s author Ernie Cline is writing a new book called Armada and it’s already optioned for a film at Universal. All we know is:
the ultimate wish fulfillment to every videogame fan on the planet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s The Last Starfighter except with more gamer callbacks.
**Lifetime and Jennifer Love Hewitt are bringing us Mrs. G’s Bigger Love, which is based on a few fantasy posts at the blog Derfwad Manor. The posts are a gender-reversal of Big Love, where the character Gatticio is a female polygamist married to Hollywood hunks like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Ben Affleck. You can read some of the entries via this link near the bottom. It took me a minute to figure out that this was just a few posts being optioned and not the blog itself, which is a middle age woman blog and outside the scope of a blog I would read at all. The gender reversal and fantasy aspects should do well on Lifetime, and hopefully we get some cool internet freak out action once the rest of the world catches wind of Mrs. G’s Bigger Love.
**Kevin Smith basically announced he’s doing Clerks 3 via Twitter. That’s all we know at this point.
**Can’t Stop the Movies meets Dodes’ka-den!
**It’s a CRIMEWAVE! at TheCulturalGutter!
**FourDK goes to the isle of Iodo!
**Exploderbutton presses The Rains of Ranchipur and Bonjour Tristesse!
**NinjaDixon must take some Executive Action!
**The Deadly Doll meets the Junkyard Dog!
**Monster Island Resort chats about gore!
So basically a remake.
Just don’t tell Universal that if they say a remake isn’t a remake, it’s still a remake. Because they’ll probably respond with several paragraphs of brain-melding garbage that if deciphered will be a road map explaining everything wrong with Hollywood ever. I do hope they don’t decide to reuse the element from the original Scarface that caused Harold Lloyd’s brother Gaylord Lloyd to be shot in the eye with live ammunition while visiting the set.
Monopoly will be the first of the three films, probably because a lot of the ground work has already been done over the years. Ridley Scott is still listed as a producer, but I do not know if they will continue with the “guy wakes up in a Monopoly world” plot that was rumored years ago. All the films are being marketed as family films.
Emmett/Furla is also bankrolling The Tomb, Two Guns, and Broken City, so they’re posed to become very very rich. Which they will need when no one watches these Hasbro films. I mean, I can’t wait for Hungry Hungry Hippos!
I actually seriously can’t wait.
Far away in an entirely different galaxy than our own, there lies the surreal and high-tech Makuhero City, home to the Hero Factory, where new robotic heroes are built every day. The factory was created by the wise architect of Makuhero City, Mr. Makuro, with the intention of upholding peace and prosperity throughout the universe, fighting the worst villains and monsters from all over the galaxy. The main story revolves around the Hero Factory Alpha Team and their allied rookie heroes combating evil on several different planets.
Despite the fact several of the robots have names like XPlode, Drilldozer, Raw-Jaw, Natalie Breez, Rocka, Jawblade, and Splitface, this is not a line of porn stars. As demonstrated by Battleship’s awesome opening weekend haul, the public is really hungry for blatant Transformer ripoffs. Oh, wait, I seem to be reporting news from an alternate reality where Battleship wasn’t a giant bomb. Sorry about that.
Michael Finch and Alex Litvak are in negotiations to write, but that is it for “attached” people at the moment.
This will be completely separate from the other Lego Movie being developed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller (the 21 Jump Street directors) which is due out in 2014 and will be awesome. This one better be awesome, too, because they really should have just made a Lego Monster Fighters movie!