Revenge Porn returns with a vengeance on Lifetime!

Revenge Porn Lifetime

I can’t believe we have to pay for access to see the porn pics they stole from you…


[adrotate banner=”7″]Revenge porn hits Lifetime with Revenge Porn! Lifetime basically renamed the film for maximum clicks from people flipping through their cable tv guide screens, as the film was originally called My Daughter’s Disgrace (which is probably a bad title because it shames the daughter for what the boyfriend does, but whatever…) You might think this sounds familiar, and that’s because it is, as the story was previously done with Break Up Nightmare just a few months back. So now we got another case of dueling Lifetime movies, and only one film will reign supreme! So who will it be???

Peyton Harris’s eighteen-year-old life is turned upside down when a set of nude photos of her are sent out to everyone she knows. She is ashamed and humiliated… but then it gets worse. The photos have also been posted on a “revenge porn” website called “exmyex.com.” Peyton’s mother, Elaine, in an effort to protect her child, reports this invasion of privacy to the police, but becomes frustrated with their lack of response. Feeling like she has no place left to turn, Elaine launches her own investigation into the owner of “exmyex.com” and plans the ultimate takedown. Elisabeth Rohm, Tiera Skovbye, Aliyah O’Brien star. (2016)

It’s not a surprise that revenge porn sites are creating a whole host of Lifetime movies, this is a situation that is perfect for all sorts of dramatic films and ridiculous exploitation, what Lifetime does best! Plus, it’s lead-in is the remake of Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?, so here’s hoping it’s good, even though Lifetime hasn’t released a trailer for it…

Revenge Porn stars Elisabeth Röhm (Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark), Jodelle Ferland (Home Alone: The Holiday Heist), Aliyah O’Brien (Garage Sale Mystery: Guilty Until Proven Innocent), Tiera Skovbye (Sugarbabies), David Lewis (Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever), Levi Meaden (1313: Bigfoot Island), R.J. Fetherstonhaugh (Hello Destroyer), and Sandy Sidhu (Preggoland). It’s written by Kendall Clark (Megachurch Murder) and directed by Monika Mitchell (Sugarbabies). As we have some Lifetime alumni in that group, things are looking up for some great Lifetime cheese!

Revenge Porn premieres Saturday, June 18th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Revenge Porn Lifetime

Actual promo still of the guy who runs a website in this movie, I can assure you that everyone who runs a website looks like this.

Sugarbabies (Review)

Sugarbabies

Sugarbabies Lifetime
2015
Story by Becca Topol and David DeCrane
Screenplay by Becca Topol
Directed by Monika Mitchell

Sugarbabies Lifetime
First they sugared the daddies. I said nothing, for I wasn’t a daddy. But then they came to sugar the babies. And I was like, “Seriously, Lifetime?” This is the third film they’ve shown this year where young, nubile girls decide the best way to pay tuition is to get it on with older men for buckets of cash. It’s like the college girls banging old dudes for tuition money films are racing the Unauthorized 90s TV Show Story films for who can flood Lifetime’s airwaves the most! We’ve seen it with Suger Daddies and with Babysitter’s Black Book, and now we dip into the pool for a third time.
Sugarbabies Lifetime
Sugarbabies runs a lot of the same numbers as we’ve seen before. Hardworking and smart Katie Woods (Alyson Stoner) arrives at the university and excels at classes, but her working class background means she can’t afford to pay for an expensive but competitive interning opportunity. Luckily for Katie, she’s made friends with Tessa Bouillette (Tiera Skovbye), a wannabe model who is living the high life thanks to an older (and married!) man paying all her bills. We see her initiate Rochelle Cranston (Sarah Dugdale) into the Sugar Babies website (cheered on by fellow sugar bowl enthusiast Sasha (Eva Day)), and thanks to being at the right place at the right time, Katie is introduced to the rich and charming James Smith (Giles Panton) by Tessa.
Sugarbabies Lifetime
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Sugar Babies brings more old men buying sugar to Lifetime!

Sugar Babies Lifetime

There would be less moral qualms if she just shoplifted the expensive textbooks! But then there would be no Lifetime movie…


[adrotate banner=”7″]The new Lifetime original movie Sugar Babies may be a bit of deja vu, because it is almost identical in plot to Sugar Daddies! But never fear, it is a completely different movie with completely different actresses selling themselves for money, and then consequences will never be the same!

Katie Woods just transferred from community college to Montlake University for their renowned art history program, but campus life is proving more expensive than Katie anticipated. In class, she meets Tessa and is introduced to Tessa’s high-class, expensive lifestyle… all paid for by her older, and richer, boyfriend Leo. While impressed by Tessa’s cultured tastes, Katie is skeptical about the relationships Tessa and her friends pursue– until Katie gets the opportunity of a lifetime to study in Florence, but realizes there is no way she can afford to go. She agrees to Tessa’s suggestion to join her on a double date and, against her better instincts, finds herself falling for Giles, a British businessman who is handsome, successful, and able to write a check to make Katie’s dreams of Florence come true. But Katie soon realizes that having a Sugar Daddy comes at its own price.

With all this sugar floating around, I predict we’ll soon see a Lifetime movie called Sugar Dentists. Okay, that joke was terrible. But at least we can be spared Sugar Babies being about actual babies made of sugar. Even if they make their dreams come true.

It is interesting that this is at least the 3rd Lifetime movie this year dealing with expensive tuition and girls doing things against their better judgement to pay for college. Maybe someone should hand out DVDs of these movies as protests the next time their local college tries to raise tuition again!

Sugar Babies stars Alyson Stoner (Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam), Tiera Skovbye (The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story), and Sarah Dugdale (Stolen Daughter). It is directed by Monika Mitchell (upcoming Pretty Little Addict), and written by David DeCrane (Guilty at 17), with the screenplay by Becca Topol (The Ramen Girl)

Sugar Babies premieres Saturday, August 15th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime!

Sugar Daddies doles out the creepy rich old guys on Lifetime!

Sugar Daddies Lifetime

Wait, I never expected this old guy giving me lots of money for nothing wanted to have sex with me!


[adrotate banner=”7″]So a year or two ago there was a big hullabaloo about how some college girls are having rich guys pay for their tuition and give them gifts in exchange for the girls sexing up the old guys when their viagra shipments came in. The media firestorm had all the usual overblown danger warnings about how this was going to definitely happen to your kid, unless you turned into the 11 o’clock news tonight to find out the signs!

Luckily for horny old rich dudes, not enough parents did tune in, so they’re still getting young ladies. There are even websites and services that connect the two parties. If you don’t think this is enough for a crazy Lifetime scare movie, then you must be from some alternate dimension! So here it is, with Sugar Daddies!

College student Kara is a bright girl from a middle income family pursuing a pre-law degree and working part time as a waitress to afford tuition. To further complicate her finances, she is offered a prestigious summer internship…unpaid. Kara’s roommate Lea, who always has the latest in designer clothes and expensive jewelry, introduces her friend to the world of “Sugar Daddies” — a group of older men who trade “favors” for money. Kara feels extremely conflicted but her mounting financial troubles win out and she descends into a murky arrangement with 55-year-old Grant. Kara tries to keep her relationship with Grant a secret, but eventually her two worlds collide causing collateral damage to her family and her future.

Uh oh! Poor Kara will have her parents be disappointed, and we can probably count on Lea being killed or put into a coma or something to highlight the dangers as Kara escapes by the skin of her teeth. Hey, is anyone blaming the unpaid internship? Because that’s something to make a Lifetime scare movie about. Interns who get unpaid interned to death!

Sugar Daddies was known as Sugar Babies in pre-production. It stars Taylor Gildersleeve (Affluenza) as Kara and Peter Strauss (Biker Mice from Mars) as Grant, with Alyson Stoner (Expecting Amish), Tiera Skovbye (The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story), Sarah Dugdale (Sorority Murder), and Kristina Tywoniuk.

Suger Daddies is directed by Monika Mitchell (Buried Secrets) and written by David DeCrane (The Girl He Met Online, Guilty at 17, and Fugitive at 17) and Becca Topol (The Ramen Girl)

Sugar Daddies premiers Saturday, January 10 on Lifetime! Catch it unless a rich guy gives you a DVR, then you can just tape it for later.

Photo via Lifetime/Charles Christopher

The Lifetime Saved by the Bell movie dropped a preview trailer!

Saved by the Bell Lifetime Unauthorized
[adrotate banner=”1″]Unfortunately, the trailer is on…BUZZFEED! Whatever barfo deal they worked out with Buzzfeed that means I have to go freaking Buzzfeed to look at an unembeddable trailer is annoying. But I do get bonus smugness because the Buzzfeed “article” is shorter than most of my news articles and mostly copy/pasted. But then I lose the smugness when I realize the writer got paid for this crap and is probably getting bonus pay thanks to all the links for views, including the one here. Oh well, fuck that guy. But what is important is this preview shows the cast of Bayside High HATES each other, and that’s awesome. It’s also all set to Bell Biv DeVoe’s Poison, which is also awesome.

We got girls being catty, girls being flirty, competitive pushups, Screech calling Slater a “prick”, Mark-Paul Gosselaar not giving a crap, and executives making snide remarks about hormones. It’s awesome. Have I mentioned that? Thunderstorms and lightning and hail couldn’t keep me from watching this!

The cast:
Dylan Everett as Mark-Paul Gosselaar
Sam Kindseth as Dustin Diamond
Julian Works as Mario Lopez
Alyssa Lynch as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen
Tiera Skovbye as Elizabeth Berkley
Taylor Russell McKenzie as Lark Voorhies

It’s directed by Jason Lapeyre (who made I Declare War), with a teleplay by Ron McGee (Girl vs. Monster).

The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story airs September 1st on Lifetime!

via (sigh) Buzzfeed

Lifetime wins with The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story!

Saved by the Bell Lifetime
[adrotate banner=”1″]Just when you thought you were doomed to fail, you will find yourself saved by the bell again, as Lifetime is bringing us The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story! Lifetime has secured the Iron Throne of schlock tv movies, and now is just showing off with this latest announcement!

The film will feature the six most famous cast members, thus skipping the whole Good Morning, Miss Bliss year and jumping right into everything we know and love whenever “Real 90s kids” trends on Twitter. The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story was cast by the same casting director who cast the original series, Robin Lippin. The actors are:

Dylan Everett as Mark-Paul Gosselaar
Sam Kindseth as Dustin Diamond
Julian Works as Mario Lopez
Alyssa Lynch as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen
Tiera Skovbye as Elizabeth Berkley
Taylor Russell McKenzie as Lark Voorhies

They will deal with the pressure of being squeaky clean role models while also having drug-fueled sex orgies (according to Dustin Diamond’s autobiography) If they do even 10% of the things on this list (I know that Mario Lopez rapist story did make American tabloid tv shows because I remember it airing), the film will be amazing and awesome. And maybe it will lead to Saved by the Bell: The New New Class!

Hopefully they do nice parallels to actual episodes, including Jessie being addicted to caffeine pills and Screech dating Tori Spelling. The public will demand that! After all, how are we going to get more gifs for Tumblr if they fail to deliver?

The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story premieres September 1st on Lifetime, and damn right I’ll be watching!

via Buzzfeed (BOO!) of all places