That long-rumored Hocus Pocus sequel just got a whole lot less rumor and more factual with this latest announcement! Hocus Pocus 2 has hit the fast lane, with Tina Fey’s company Little Stranger handling the deed, and her (or someone of her “type”) starring aldong with a Melissa McCarthy “type”
The sequel will pick up years after the original, focusing on a housewife who is related to the Sanderson sisters, who teams up with a witch hunter to save her children after they run afoul of some resurrected witches while out trick-or-treating. No actors from the original film have been confirmed as returning for the sequel. In fact, no actors are yet attached to the project. My assumption is that producers are looking for a Fey type for the housewife and a McCarthy type for the witch hunter, but thinking about Fey and McCarthy’s previous work, those roles could easily be reversed.
Will the original trio of witches come back? Will there be a talking cat? Will there be an obsession with virginity? All these mysteries will unfold, eventually, as an unnecessary sequel to an average movie held aloft by Real 90s Kids nostalgia becomes reality!
UPDATE: It looks like this might not be Hocus Pocus 2, instead it’s an Untitled Witch Movie. Unless it’s not, in which cast someone is wrong. I blame the ducks for this mess! They’ve had their day in the sun, and now they want revenge, revenge on ME! I’ll show them, I’ll show them all!!!!
Heck yeah, a sequel to Hocus Pocus! The crazy witch film from 1993 with Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker is a certified classic for people who were young enough to appreciate it then or caught it during it’s many airings during each Halloween season. And now (as hinted in the ending of the film!) a sequel is in development. No word on if anyone is attached at this point, it is just in the story planning stages (but at least it has a title!) Will Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker be willing to return? Thora Birch and the other kids are all grown up as well, so we’d need new kids. And we must have another talking cat!! More info as it comes in, you can be sure!
Jeremy Irons as Profion
Bruce Payne as Damodar
Justin Whalin as Ridley Freeborn
Marlon Wayans as Snails
Zoe McLellan as Marina Pretensa
Thora Birch as Empress Savina
A group of high schoolers sit around a table drinking copious amounts of Mt. Dew, all while pretending to be orcs or sorcerers and rolling handfuls of dice with more sides than golf balls have dimples in this thrilling true to life adaptation of the classic game. No, wait, instead we get a live-action adventure that puts the “Dung” in Dungeons & Dragons. Ignoring the shelves of existing literature set in the D&D universe littering bookstores and comic book shops, and also ignoring the fairly decent cartoon of the late 1980’s, the director instead chose to give us an all-new adventure, which breaks new ground in the amount of source material ignored in order to produce a terrible Hollywood movie of an existing property. Director Courtney Solomon had the rights for the film for ten years, and this is his best effort. The culmination of all his dreams. His shining star in a dark void. Ten years…..wasted! Drunken monkeys banging away on keyboards with bananas produced better scripts in that time. The lone bright spot of the movie is Jeremy Irons seemed to realize what junk he was in, and had a grand ol’ time hamming up, over acting, and becoming the best performance in the film.
His sorcerer gone mad in his lust for power and dragon control is fun to watch, hilarious at times. Fellow villain Bruce Payne plays his Damodar character with a permanent scowl and low voiced threat voice that he seemed to either be loving his role, or he was awakened each morning at 4 am by construction and the scowl lasted all day. Either way, it’s a boon for us, as fun with acting is always preferable to being bored to tears. Grab your +3 Mace and come with me on a grand adventure, a quest to parts unknown to retrieve an ancient device, the magical “Eject” button of the DVD player!
Enid (Thora Birch) and Rebecca (Scarlett Johanson) have just graduated high school, though Enid must make up an art class in summer school. The girls wittle away their time, not choosing to head to college. At a cafe, they notice customers that look like “Satanists” and they decide to follow them. While trailing, they run across the ’50’s diner Wowsville, an authentic ’50s restaurant with rap music and a waiter they call Weird Al due to his name being Al and his hair resembling Weird Al’s. While eating there, they read the personals of the paper, and run across a “Missed Connections” ad where a guy is wanting to meet up with a blonde he helped find a contact lens for. They decide to give him a call and pretend to be the girl, and to have him meet her at Wowsville. They then bug their friend Josh to hang out with them at the diner when the man shows up. He does, is named Seymour and is played by Steve Buscemi, orders a vanilla shake, and waits, only to be disappointed. The girls follow him back to his place. Later they try to find out what apartment he lives in, and see him in part of a garage sale the apartment complex is running. There Enid discusses records with him for a bit, finding our his name is Seymore, and purchases one before they leave. The girls describe him as clueless, but Enid thinks that makes him almost attractive. Eventually Enid listens to the record and really likes the song Devil Got My Woman, and returns to discuss it with Seymour. Seymour invites her to a party where a lot of record collectors like him will be, and Enid eventually goes, dragging Rebecca along, who is hit on by David Cross, much to her disdain. Enid talks to Seymore who is a collector, and Enid decides she will get him a girlfriend. While out girlfriend shopping, Enid gets Seymour to take her into an adult store, where she gets a catwoman headpiece. We find out Rebecca is working at a Starbucks ripoff complete with annoying customers.