Bikini Royale (Review)
Bikini Royale
2008
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)
Bikini Royale is a sequel to The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I., which I haven’t seen, but that isn’t necessary to follow the plot here. As you have probably guessed, this is a riff on spy films such as James Bond. Riffing on Bond seems to be just as profitable as doing the actual Bond films, and there continues to be Bond sendups created year after year.
This is a Fred Olen Ray softcore bikini erotic parody, so it gives you what you expect for an entry in that genre: sex scenes, humor, general entertainment, familiar actors, familiar songs during the sex, and familiar locations. Previous TarsTarkas.NET reviews of Fred Olen Ray Bikini films include: Bewitched Housewives, Super Ninja Doll, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes, Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Voodoo Dollz: Lust Potion #9, and Bikini Airways.
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Voodoo Dollz: Lust Potion #9 (Review)
Voodoo Dollz: Lust Potion #9
2008
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)
Voodoo Dollz is a satirization of those awful movies where girls go to private school and there are secret witches and devil worshiping going on. Many of these films are from the 1970’s, thus have slow pacing, awful cameras, and look like everyone is high on Mary Jane. Thankfully, most of the boring stuff is dropped from this entry, and we get an erotic parody done up Fred Olen Ray style! Many of the familiar females make an appearance, and we get one, lone male entry – Alexandre Boisvert, aka Voodoo, thus giving us the title Voodoo Dollz. There is no Evan Stone, Bart Batram, Ted Newsom, or Jay Richardson. But the many many women means lots of lesbian encounters!
The movie has recently came out on DVD, but as I am poor I had to dub this off of the free cable that comes with renting. I bet you can’t figure out which channel it was on! Stupid logos. Is there even any action in this (of the non-sex kind?) Maybe three seconds of tossing candles. At least these films captured directly off of cable look better than the older screen captures from the SciFi Channel films I taped on vhs and then tried to screencap.
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Hey, man…there is a voodoo doll in the opening credits! I get it! Read more…
Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet (Review)
Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet
2006
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)
Now this is good scifi! And good softcore! Finding a movie that has both is a rare feat, indeed. And this one is a blast! The plot is the standard Mars Need Women/Devil Girl From Mars fare, except it is Female Aliens Need Sperm. Thus…the softcore. We applaud Fred Olen Ray for this one! Sure, we have done a lot of these films by now, but as every entry is its own different genre, things keep from getting boring. The films are generally entertaining as well, putting them light-years ahead of some of the snooze-fests from Seduction Cinema such as the similarly named Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet or the lethargic thriller-type movies that also show up all the time on Skinimax yet rarely never giving a satisfying viewing experience. These films are fun for everyone! So bring on the fun.
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You wouldn’t know it, but this is the filthiest picture on this site!
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Ghost in a Teeny Bikini (Review)
Ghost in a Teeny Bikini
2006
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)
Here we go with another amazing Bikini film from Fred Olen Ray (once again directing as Nicholas Medina) that has a fun time spoofing genre movie conventions and making the production look like it was make for ten times the cost. Ghost in a Teeny Bikini diverges from one of the classic plots of bikini films. Normally a relative dies and leaves a business to be saved by bikinis and boobs, but here the dead relative just leaves a bunch of money, and the plot springboards to a murder mystery with a surprise musical thrown in for good measure! In addition, we get the titular ghost in the teeny bikini (played by Nicole Sheridan) running around amidst the over acting. The film itself is a lot of fun and entertaining, but if you were watching for a quick fix of naked chicks, you’d have to put up with distracting plot elements in between, and I can realize how that would turn off people at 3am flipping back and forth between Cinemax channels looking for a flash of skin. Bikini films are known to be chock full of terrible puns, but the puns in this film are the thickest that I have seen yet.
We have a return of many familiar faces. In fact, I have seen so many of the more recent Bikini films that when I watched a few older ones, I was disappointed that most of the actors were different. Yet, there is no clear line jump between generations, as the casts blend into each other, a continually evolving mesh. Thus some older people run around with newer members all the time. It’s like the Circle of Life, except there isn’t a gay lion tossing Darth Vader off a cliff. That’s in Bikini Lion King, due out in 2011. The title obviously refers to the movie The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, this is so obvious I won’t even point it out.
First, the cast. ROLL CALL!
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Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle (Review)
Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle
aka Tarzeena: Queen of Kong Island
2008
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)
Tarzeena Jiggle of the Jungle joins a long line of Tarzan-themed erotic movies. It is an anomaly in this genre, though, because it is actually entertaining and not a complete waste of celluloid. Director Fred Olen Ray manages to craft together a nice little homage to not only the Tarzan films, but those old jungle films where people wander through stock footage and movies with crazy mad scientists. Tarzeena is a great throwback to anyone who has suffered through borefests such as Nabonga. As viewers of traditional jungle flicks know, up to 25% of the film is stock footage (and sometimes shamefully more than that), there are jungle girls worshiped by natives, and there is usually a guy in a gorilla suit. We have all of those things, plus sex scenes. Tarzeena was one of several made at the same time, also including Super Ninja Doll.
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Tarzeena lives on Stock Footage Island – I mean Kong Island. Tarzeena’s skimpy clothing allows her to keep cool in the jungle heat, but at times she must shed her clothes and get naked. Thus she must take a shower in the waterfall. Luckily, a plane filled with hundreds of shaving blades must have crashed on the island at some point, allowing Tarzeena’s skin to remain smooth as an android’s bottom.
Super Ninja Doll (Review)
Super Ninja Doll
aka Super Ninja Bikini Babes
2007
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)
Super Ninja Doll premiered on cable TV under the title Super Ninja Bikini Babes, but we will be calling it Super Ninja Doll because that is the title that we first were introduced to it as on the Retromedia message board. Director Fred Olen Ray has crafted a mix of cult movie/Japanese comics with softcore elements, resulting in a great film that is both entertaining and memorable. Fred Olen Ray shoots these films several at a time, oftentimes reusing the same sets and actors. (Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle is one of the others shot with this one.) The problem with a lot of softcore fare is it blends together an becomes unmemorable. Stuff you catch late at night on Skinimax or Showtime, then forget about as the next night something completely different is on. These types of softcore movies have been given the name Erotic Parodies, which fits as they have names like The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I., The Erotic Dreams of Jeannie, and Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes. As Super Ninja Doll is not yet on DVD (as of when I wrote this), the screen captures are taken from a TV broadcast (thus the alternate title screen), but they look better than our previous TV captures because the screenshots weren’t taken off of a VHS tape of the movie.
The artwork for the Super Ninja Doll comic was done by Noel Anderson. There is an actual Retromedia Comics Group, which is making a Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers comic book!
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