Posts tagged "SciFi Channel"

Dark Haul trucks up SyFy!

Dark Haul

Quick, switch to the BFG!


SyFy inches back to showing regular features in October, with three new films as part of their 31 Days of Halloween series. Dark Haul (aka Monster Truck) is the first, featuring a monster, a truck, a monster girl, and Tom Sizemore.

A team of secretive guardians transport a deadly creature and its half-human sister to a secure location, but the beast escapes and threatens to fulfill a prophecy – by destroying the world. Dark Haul stars Tom Sizemore (Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down), Rick Ravanello (The Cave, Hart’s War) and Evalena Marie (Remains, Serena and the Ratts). Dark Haul is a production of Synthetic Cinema International.

Hey, it’s a monster and a sister and they fight some humans, will she realize her brother looks like a video game villain? I’m probably most excited about Evalena Marie going demonic all up in there! The prophecy and conspiracy and arguments about if demons can be good I can take or leave, but we need some demon fighting action and people being torn to shreds and that truck that flips over running down demons and basically make the body count like a trillion people and a trillion demons. Give or a take a few billion.

Dark Haul is directed by Daniel Wise and written by Ben Crane, neither of which have any substantial credits. So this is a complete mystery going in as far as track records are concerned.

A trailer is on ShockTillYouDrop in case you want to check it out!

Dark Haul premieres Saturday, October 4 at 9PM on SyFy!

Dark Haul

Did the monster brother braid her hair?

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - September 30, 2014 at 11:48 am

Categories: Movie News   Tags: , , , , , ,

Police Academy 8 – Lavalantula!

Just when you thought it was safe to smash spiders, suddenly giant lava-breathing tarantulas attack Los Angeles. Isn’t that always the way? Freaking Lavalantulas invade everything! Luckily, the cast of the Police Academy movies are on hand to fight the flaming spider menace! Steve Guttenberg, Leslie Easterbrook, and Michael Winslow with fight the eight-legged fire freaks, and are joined by Nia Peeples and Ralph Garman. Lavanlantula is directed by Mike Mendez, who made Big Ass Spider. So there is strong spider roots here!

Lavalantula is filming now for a 2015 airing, so that’s all the information we have at the time. But that’s plenty, because this will be AWESOME, even if it sucks! Lavalantula tagline: Fire Burns. Lava Bites.

But what about Proctor? Where is Proctor?

via EW

Lavalantula syfy

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - September 22, 2014 at 3:33 pm

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Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda (Review)

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda

Sharktopus vs Pteracuda
2014
Written by Matt Yamashita
Directed by Kevin O’Neill

Mom! Dad! Why are you fighting! ::bursts into tears::

Sharktopus was one of the better performing SyFy original movies and helped lead the charge into the fray of combination animals running amok on an unsuspecting populace. As it’s also a Roger Corman production, you know that every last dime is going to get squeezed out of the film. Hence two sequels! Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda is the first of these, essentially the Empire Strikes Back of the trilogy.

But Sharktopus is dead, how can there be another Sharktopus movie? Easy! Thanks to a handy recap of prior events, we learn that Sharktopus was preggers! A shark egg sack is among the pieces of Sharktopus that float out to sea and are quickly caught in a net for a boat being chartered by a Latin America amusement park that has sent it out to find cool stuff in the ocean, and Lorena Christmas discovers the baby Sharktopus 2.0, which she begins to raise.

Sharktopus vs Pteracuda

I’ll make you watch every episode of King of the Nerds, or else!


On the polar opposite side we have another genetically engineered creature built as a weapon with Pteracuda, which has the flight powers of a pterodactyl and the underwater strength of a barracuda. While talk mentions that the US military is probably going to settle on its drone program over these genetically manipulated monstrosities, Dr. Rico Symes is convinced that he can create a creature that is more destructive in air and at sea that can outclass the drones. Things look well, until Pteracuda is almost immediately hijacked and goes berserk.
Sharktopus vs Pteracuda

Good thing she was wearing her life jacket!


Dr. Rico Symes (Robert Carradine) – Dr. Rico Symes is the amoral genius creator of Pteracuda, doing the whole project in secret to the world and his own company. Symes must then stop his creation after it is hijacked, but refuses to stick his neck out while doing so. He founded Symodyne, which we know is bad because all companies that end in -dyne are evil! Not only that, but Dr. Symes kidnaps Lorena at gunpoint and drags her into his unmarked white van. Robert Carradine is awesome here, he is like an evil Lewis Skolnick on steroids!
Lorena Christmas (Katie Savoy) – Not a Ph.D., hired directly out of college by her uncle, who owns the aquatic theme park. Raises the new Sharktopus from a newborn, and recognizes its intelligence, and was trying to condition it to be nonviolent. I wonder if she’s named after Dr. Christmas Jones from The World is Not Enough.
“Ham” Hammerstein (Rib Hillis) – Leader of the security team hired by Dr. Symes as insurance in case something goes wrong with Pteracuda, and the only member to make it through the opening sequence alive. Weirdly loyal to Dr. Symes for most of the flick until he’s betrayed one too many times. Enjoys harpoon-based weaponry.
Sharktopus (CGI) – Sharktopus is really Sharktopus 2.0, either Son of Sharktopus or Daughter of Sharktopus. It doesn’t really matter for movie purposes. Just how Sharktopus got pregnant in the first place is not addressed. Raised in a theme park, Sharktopus is unable to throw off its created purpose as an alpha predator/weapon, and thanks to a control circuit lodged in its head, is sent out to fight Pteracuda.
Pteracuda (CGI) – Designed as a replacement/improvement of drones, Pteracuda is hijacked and soon is killing lots of people, leading its creator to go to extreme methods to hunt it down. Which means it fights Sharktopus! The hacker who takes control wants Pteracuda to attack a nuclear power plant.

Sharktopus vs Pteracuda

Seconds before the kiss


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Posted by Tars Tarkas - August 30, 2014 at 12:04 am

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

274 Amazing Japanese B-Movie Posters!

The Guardians Japanese Poster

The Guardians


If there is one thing we like, it’s Ziggy comics! Ziggy is awesome. We also like Japanese posters of B-movies like those found on SyFy/SciFi Channel, because those posters are awesome as crap. So TarsTarkas.NET has collected 274 posters for your viewing pleasure, because we take delight in having odd numbers of stuff.

Many of the posters are taken from PosRen, which has hundreds of other posters that are probably just as cool, along with some that aren’t as cool. But these are the coolest, guaranteed. Just check out the overly long gallery below for your favorite flicks: Sharknado, Ghost Shark, Snakes on a Train, Nydenion (Okay, they can’t all be winners!) You can also find out which American franchises have been given unofficial sequels thanks to Japanese distributors renaming films! (Answer: A lot!)

FYI: The term UMA stands for Unidentified Mysterious Animal, it is a cryptozoology term that is much more popular in Japan than the US. I can’t explain why there are so many burnt bat outlines unless they are all Batman references for some reason. Maybe they are…

Now if you excuse me, I have to check out today’s Ziggy comic!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - August 25, 2014 at 7:12 am

Categories: Gallery, Movie News   Tags: , , , ,

Sharknado 2: The Second One (Review)

Sharknado 2: The Second One

Sharknado 2 the Second One SyFy
2014
Written by Thunder Levin
Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante

How can the same shark happen to the same guy twice?

The Sharknadoes are back and this time they’re taking on the Big Apple! But New Yorkers aren’t going to just stand by and let their city get destroyed by a bunch of shark-laced tornadoes. Thus the people fight back, and more importantly, returning Sharknado hero Fin leads the fight against the sharknadoes. With Sharknado 2: The Second One, Asylum and SyFy step back into the world of viral creature feature movies, and score a monster hit. Not only was this the highest SyFy original movie ever (with 3.9 million viewers), but it’s also entertaining and fun. The action is bigger and more consistent throughout the whole film, leading to less of the pacing problem that the original Sharknado faced.
Sharknado 2 the Second One SyFy
Sharknado 2 edges its predecessor with more ridiculous stunts and better graphics. The money shots are given a high quality look to better make cool gifs. The well-paced action provides continual entertainment, beginning with a ridiculously awesome plane sequence that just keeps raising the stakes and the body count. The excuses to get people moving around felt more genuine than Sharknado‘s goal post moving search for family. Sharknado 2 has what is the best excuse for not being able to reach someone by cell phone I’ve seen in a movie (the guy shuts it off so he can spend quality time with his son and not be distracted by work! So much better than random “out of service” shots or just ignoring phones altogether.)
Sharknado 2 the Second One SyFy
Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) and his ex-wife April Wexler (Tara Reid), who he is now reconciling with, are on route to New York City, his hometown and where his sister and her family live. But the flight path is right through the latest forming sharknado, and soon the plane is a disasterpiece that Fin has to land himself. Things become a desperate struggle to get his family to safety and to save the city from the sharknadoes, while chomping death flies in the skies and rains down on the people. Only chainsaws, buzzsaw hands, swords, guns, freon tanks, and a host of celebrity cameos can save New York City from nature’s wrath!
Sharknado 2 the Second One SyFy
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - August 3, 2014 at 4:41 pm

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sharktopus vs Pteracuda poster!

Sharktopus vs Pteracuda poster

See Sharktopus vs Pteracuda on August 2nd on SyFy! The second film in the Sharktopus trilogy, to be followed by Sharktopus vs. Mermantula

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda – Sunday, August 2 at 9PM – In this new Roger Corman movie, the child of Sharktopus goes toe-to-toe with the latest science experiment “Pteracuda” – half Pteradactyl, half Barracuda – in a battle for monster supremacy. A production of New Horizons Pictures, the movie stars Robert Carradine (Django Unchained) and Katie Savoy (Living with Models).

And, yes, Conan O’Brien is in it!

via IGN

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 22, 2014 at 3:17 pm

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