Godzilla’s Revenge (Review)

Godzilla’s Revenge

aka All Monsters Attack aka Godzilla-Minya-Gabara: All Monsters Attack! aka Gojira-Minira-Gabara: Oru kaiju daishingeki

1969

Starring
Tomonori Yazaki as Ichiro Miki
Eisei Amamoto as Toy Consultant Shinpei Inami
Sachio Sakai as Bank Robber Senbayashi
Kazuo Suzuki as Bank Robber Okuda
Kenji Sahara as Ichiro’s Father
Machiko Naka as Ichiro’s Mother
Shigeki Ishida as The Landlord
Directed by Ishiro Honda

SUPER SCARY SATURDAY! BOOOoooOOOoooOOOooOOOOooOOO! Once again, Super Scary Saturday will be our guide through the world of Godzilla! This is the greatest Super Scary Saturday intro of them all! It’s only ironic that it’s on one of the worst Godzilla movies of them all! It’s got stock footage, more stock footage, annoying kids in short shorts, even more stock footage, even more annoying kids in short shorts, and oddly enough was one of my favorite G films as a kid, probably because this movie is marketed for kids (though I suspect the Super Scary Saturday intro also helped.) The stock shots of Godzilla are pulled from several films, so you see Godzilla’s head change shape a few times. We got our grubby paws on the Japanese version as well as the American TV dub, so we’ll be contrasting both as we go along. It’s the same storyline, but there are a few key differences, most notably, the kid in the Japanese version is about twenty times less annoying! He’s almost respectable! It’s amazing. Minya famously talks in this film, and shrinks down in size to have chats with little Ichiro, the Boy of Monster Island. Speaking of Monster Island, this film was the immediate follow-up to Destroy All Monsters, where all the monsters were living on Monsterland, but from this movie forward they all live on Monster Island. Also, Destroy All Monsters took place in the far off future of 1999, while this film is set back in 1969. So either Monster Island becomes Monsterland, or Monsterland is another name for Monster Island, possibly due to Monster Island being really a peninsula.


I hope I didn’t bore you off with that over-analysis there. It’s time to not care about technicalities anymore, as we’re going to be visiting the mind of an 11 year old boy, his monster playmates, a crazy toy inventor, two bumbling master thieves, and two bullies named Gabara! All of this hosted by Al Lewis, Grandpa Munster himself! It’s the last March of Godzilla film until the next March of Godzilla (ignore that this is May and we’re still putting up films) and the last Super Scary Saturday film I have on tape. So let’s Celebrate, Celebrate, Super Station TBS! And bring on Super Scary Saturday!

After the famous Super Scary Saturday commercial scares it’s way by again, we get the opening. “It’s Me, Grandpa!” we get our familiar greeting as Grandpa Munster awaits us sitting in the Super Scary Saturday theater. He’s excited to have us there: “Do I have a treat for you! This is better than having your own Red Cross Blood Bank franchise!” It sure is. Grandpa Munster rules! Grandpa continues: “You heard of Wrestlemania? Well, we have MONSTERmania!” It’s Godzilla vs. All Comers!

Grandpa then jumps to Crazed Grandpa Announcer Don King mode to promote the upcoming fight! Behind him at the podium are cartoons of Godzilla and Gabara, Godzilla in a wrestling suit giving his pointing finger, and Gabara doing his hair! We cut to Gabara for his view of the upcoming fight, and his Godzilla-taunting, which I will transcribe in it’s entirety for your reading pleasure: “Listen up you giant water lizard! I’m the prettiest monster and the meanest Godzilla. You’re going to get the shock of your life when you step on the Monster Island with me, Gabara, the giant cat from Monstermania! I’m the one, the only, the true world champion!”



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Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (Review)

Godzilla Versus the Sea Monster

aka Gojira, Ebirah, Mosura: Nankai no daiketto aka Ebirah, Terror of the Deep

1966

Starring
Akira Takarada as Yoshimura (Robber)
Kumi Mizuno as Daiyo
Hideo Sunazuka as Nita (Flattop)
Toru Watanabe as Ryota Kane
Chotaro Togin as Ichino
Toru Ibuki as Yata Kane
Akihiko Hirata as Captain Yamoto
Jun Tazaki as Red Bamboo Commander
Pair Bambi as The Mothra Twin Fairies

Godzilla returns again (Godzilla is always returning….) to fight the greatest threat the world has ever known, giant shrimp! The King of the Monsters versus the King of the Krill in a battle royale! Still, I can pump it up all I want to, but it doesn’t make Ebirah any more exciting a villain, for he is stuck in lame-mode. Instead, we’ll go for broke, and say Godzilla is a prophet, fighting something that decades later America herself would be fighting: A international terrorist organization. The real villains of the film is Red Bamboo, the terrorist organization that took root on the island that Godzilla just happened to be hanging out in. The American dub doesn’t bother to call them Red Bamboo, but the American dub has a lot of other problems. In addition to Godzilla and King Shrimp, we have Mothra making a cameo appearance. Cameo is the right word, as the Mothra suit looks like it would disintegrate into dust had it been used for one second longer in the film. A fourth monster shows up, a giant bird known as DaiKondoru (though I’ve only seen it listed as Okondoru, so that’s what we’ll call him) who is even lamer than Ebirah. There are some well-known G-Movie actors along for the ride, who we’ll get to when they show up in the film.

This movie is different from many of the other Godzilla movies, as Godzilla acts a little different. Mainly because this film was written for King Kong, but some rights disagreements scuttled that idea, and a few minor changes (aka substituting “Gojira!” for “Kong!” in the dialogue) made this the newest Godzilla film. This probably explains why Ebirah is so lowly powered, had he been able to shoot laser beams or heat waves or something, Kong would have had a tougher time. It’s also why Godzilla gets the hots for the lovely Kumi Mizuno, despite being a lizard. Godzilla’s sleeping in a cave is another artifact from the older script, but Godzilla shows his love for sleeping in Son of Godzilla, so it could happen. The version MST3Ked was from Film Ventures, which used shots from Son of Godzilla in it’s opening titles, but the most common versions here don’t have the Film Ventures credits. It still has all the bad, all the good, and all the lobster. Sit back, relax, and get ready to fight…the Sea Monster!

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