Posts tagged "Norm MacDonald"

Unauthorized but familiar Chinese movies

My wow Bootleg Warcraft Movie 我的魔兽世界
Chinese cinema hit the news cycle recently, but not because of a new breakout hit or because another Hollywood studio added a big Chinese star for one line of a movie in order to try to get a share of their box office, but because of a movie that is basically a bootleg of a bigger budget movie. Cinemas in China will get what is basically a bootleg Warcraft film, called My Wow (aka 我的魔兽世界 which means My World of Warcraft)! My Wow is set to hit theaters before Warcraft does, and the costumes look shockingly familiar. The plot is completely different, as it features “A man gets transported to a fantasy world of warcraft, where the impossible occurs…”

So basically it’s that same story where someone gets transported into a fantasy world and becomes a hero, except this time the fantasy world looks suspiciously like World of Warcraft without actually being Warcraft. It also stars Jatfei Wong/Wong Yat-Fei, though he doesn’t play the fish out of water character. The image at the top of the article are the oddly suspicious costumes from the film.

If you bootleg fish out of water stories from China, then you might also be excited for the upcoming release of The Adventures of Panda Warrior, which is totally not Kung Fu Panda, don’t get any ideas!

A peace-loving soldier from Ancient China is magically transported into a world ruled by an evil nine-headed snake. Transformed into a panda, he joins forces with a flying pig to free the once-peaceful Merryland from tyranny. But first he must train to be the kingdom’s most courageous panda warrior.

If The Adventures of Panda Warrior seems vaguely familiar, that’s because you might have stumbled across a trailer for it when it was called The Adventures of Jinbao (大兵金宝) in 2012. Jackie Chan voices the panda, because The Adventures of Jinbao is actually a sequel to his 2010 movie Little Big Soldier. Sort of. It’s a sequel to a flash game sequel to Little Big Soldier called FLASH Little Big Soldier (FLASH大兵小將), hence following the art style for the very beginning before Jackie Chan’s character is turned into a panda. Of course, the US version trades Jackie Chan for Rob Schneider and Norm MacDonald. None of this should be confused with the other animated Kung Fu Panda ripoff, Little Panda Fighter, which is Brazilian but also awful.

Adventures of Jinbao

Adventures of Jinbao Jackie Chan

Now if you want even more exciting stuff, April’s Crazy Toy City (疯狂玩具城) mysteriously has a similar poster and title to Disney’s Zootopia, known in China as Crazy Animal City (疯狂动物城). This was roundly mocked on China’s internet, though the film itself seems to have little to do with Zootopia, instead following a boy who is transported to a toy-ruled city after mistreating his toys. So maybe it’s a sequel to Toy Story?

Crazy Toy City Zootopia posters

Whatever the case, I’m sure we’ll soon have many more very original films to talk about! Now I have to go watch Hollywood’s latest reboot of a prequel of a sequel of a remake.

photos/info via qq and thenanfang

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 24, 2016 at 11:07 am

Categories: Movie News   Tags: , , , , ,

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill


2011
Directed by Dennis Dugan

jack and Jill
Tonight on Unsolved Mysteries…how did this movie get made???

Oh, boy.

Do you love jokes about explosive diarrhea? Do you love seeing great actors slumming it in a film where they’re sexually obsessed with a man in drag? Do you live films that give characters quirks instead of doing any characterization at all?

jack and Jill
Fictitious depiction of a Jack and Jill audience…

Finally, I can hush the naysayers who keep saying “nay” when I try to explain that just because I’ve sold out and get free movie passes and dump trucks filled with money and drugs and keep giving all those films positive reviews, that I’m not a shill. Because there is no way in Hell that Jack and Jill will get a positive review, because the dump truck was three minutes late! And also pretend I worked a “Knights who say ‘Ni'” joke in there that was actually funny, unlike every other reference to the Knights who say “Ni” ever. Even this one.

jack and Jill
Actual depiction of a Jack and Jill audience…

Jack and Jill sucks. I can’t say going into this one I had much high hopes. But I was wishing for maybe something passable. I like some of Sandler’s older work, but I can’t think of anything lately he’s done that I’ve even bothered with. Parts of Jack and Jill seem like they’re trying to ape the older style, but the jokes just do not work. A homeless guy randomly for Thanksgiving dinner, so he can say wacky things. A kid who tapes things to himself, because that is wacky. A bird that says random phrases, because it’s wacky. A daughter who is always in a costume and has a doll that is always in an identical costume…wacky! All seem like they would be funny, but no. Luckily, there are fart jokes to fall back on! Those work…if you’re high on wacky-tabacky! Which probably means you wandered into the wrong theater when trying to check out Harold and Kumar 3.

jack and Jill
She’s totally not crazy. Now can I have my dog back unharmed, Scientologists?

Jack (Adam Sandler) – Jack is an ad executive and a jerk, who will randomly do something sort of kind just as the audience is turning against him.
Jill (Adam Sandler) – Jill is his twin sister who is only slightly annoying. But the movie reassures us over and over that she’s the most annoying thing ever, despite evidence to the contrary.
jack and Jill
Jack and Jill treats women like it does to the audience

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1 comment - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - November 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

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