Sandy Frank has lost his meat

[adrotate banner=”1″]Seriously, he looks dreadful now! And his former model wife also looks just awful. They look like they stretched like 1 square inch of skin to cover their entire bodies. You might remember that producer Sandy Frank was the American distributor of a lot of the MST3K films that were from Japan, including the Gamera films, Time of the Apes, the forklift one, and that one with some guy named Atari in it. But, because they were mean to poor Mr. Frank, Sandy Frank won’t release the rights of the American prints so the episodes can be released. So we just download them and watch them for free instead. Suck on that, Mr. Frank. Uh…I totally never did that, officer!

In any event, the 81 year old Sandy Frank was cheating on his 57 year old current wife Brenda Frank (that’s an image I did not want to picture) and the resulting fight meant the Franks were tossing drinking glasses at each other. It looks like Brenda Frank caught one upon her forehead. Domestic violence is never the answer, folks! In any event, it is now divorce city for the Franks, maybe that will be what is needed for Mr. Frank to finally give in and let us have the MST3K episodes we so desperately want. Here’s hoping the prenup gets tossed!

The most flattering images I could find...

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (Review)

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

John Call as Santa Claus
Leonard Hicks as Kimar
Vincent Beck as Voldar
Bill McCutcheon as Dropo
Pia Zadora as Girmar

First they came for the men. Then they came for the women. Now they have come for the sweetest plum of them all: Santa Claus! We got the original edition right here, not a Crow, Joel, or Tom Servo to be found. There is no Patrick Swayze Christmas here, it’s all pain. This is not the first MST3K film that I’ve seen without Joel/Mike and the bots (that honor goes to Alien from L.A.) but this is the worst I have seen without their protection. The thought that this movie is still being shown to children throughout the world as a Christmas classic is horrifying. I can only pray that the endless showings of A Christmas Story are enough to counter the effects here.

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