Zone Fighter Episode 23 – Dai Kyoujuu Bakugon-no Himitsu

Zone Fighter Episode 23 – Dai Kyoujuu Bakugon-no Himitsu

aka 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密 aka Secret of Bakugon: The Giant Terror-Beast! aka Secret of the Great Terror-Beast Bakugon
Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密
1973
Written by Masaru Takesue
Directed by Ishiro Honda

March of Godzilla 2014

Come and get it, you Bouillabaseball playing mofo!

The Secret Garoga Plot in Secret of Bakugon: The Giant Terror-Beast! is so stupid that it makes the craziest Cobra plots from GI Joe look sane and rational. The Garoga plot to make several children believe that a junk yard is really a secret garden, thus they’ll get some ruined clothes and light scrapes. This means they’ll all have to get tetanus shots, thus depleting the worldwide supply, destroying humanity! The long-term plan might be some ridiculous plot to mind control the entire population of the planet, but no one really seems focused on that. They even have smaller tests before the elaborate children delusion, which rules out that this was just a test phase. This is the REAL DEAL plan!

Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

Trumpy! You can do magic things!


The plot is so ridiculously lame that it sinks the entire episode, and even a cool monster design like Bakugon cannot save it. Bakugon is like an ALF/anteater hybrid that shoots flames out of his nose and has a metal backpack full of fuel for said flames. It is cool to see a monster that’s obviously a mammal, far too many are variations of dinosaurs or other lizards, or even more human monsters. Bakugon has fur, we need more fuzzy kaiju. Plus he’d make a great rug in front of the fireplace!

There is a great philosophical crisis because the main evil Garoga splits himself from disguised as one human female to disguised as a human female and a small boy. Essentially being in two places at once and being two people. The question is if the Garoga became two Garoga, or if it was able to control both bodies simultaneously without adverse effects and keeping them doing separate projects but still under the same mind. Becuase if the Garoga became two Garoga, this is some serious business. It could be real, because we’ve seen Garoga merge and form terror-beasts before. So why couldn’t a Garoga split into two by mitosis? Or are the Garoga all under one mind? Though that doesn’t seem to jive with how the Garoga act in every other episode, so it’s highly unlikely. What we get is another great Garoga mystery that will never be solved.

Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

I know every rose has its thorn, but this is ridiculous!


A mysterious lady in all black (so obviously Garoga it hurts) is causing delusions in people – a family is on a road trip when it’s suddenly revealed they’re driving on the train tracks! And that somehow causes all of them to fall out of their car when dad slams on the breaks! Uh….. HUH?? Also some guy hallucinates that he’s water skiing while he’s really in a field, and is laughed at, but still, the whole family fell out of their car. How does that work? I’m so confused…
Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

We’re on strike until we get real pants!


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Zone Fighter Episode 22 – Gyakushuu! Suupaajikiro-wo Taose

Zone Fighter Episode 22 – Gyakushuu! Suupaajikiro-wo Taose

aka 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ aka Counterstrike! Strike Down Super-Jikiro! aka Counterattack! Defeat Super Jiriko
Zone Fighter 22 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ
1973
Written by Masaru Takesue
Directed by Masao Minowa

March of Godzilla 2014

Jikiro hate bathtime!!

It’s time for another episode of Zone Fighter with Counterstrike! Strike Down Super-Jikiro!AKA Hikaru Gets a Girlfriend! Yes, the producers have noticed that Hikaru is a red-blooded Japanese male, but somehow doesn’t even look at the ladies, so they have one run into him this episode…literally! But don’t get too attached, she’s a one and done, and Hikaru even has a completely different “girlfriend” a few episodes later.

This episode takes place over the longest stretch of time that a single episode does, the exact amount I couldn’t determine, but Hikaru goes through two surgeries and recovery periods. Even with Zone Family super healing, at least two weeks goes by where a terror-beast is free to cause havoc and destruction.

Zone Fighter 22 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ

Why you shouldn’t buy cheap gloves


That terror-beast is stupid Jikiro, now back in Super Jikiro form. Someone must have really loved that monster concept, as this is the second of three appearances of Jikiro, though technically he’s Super Jikiro (and thus a different monster according to the official stats.) Weirdly, when he pops up again, he’ll just be plain old Jikiro. That episodes opens its own can of worms about terror-beast identities that will be discussed when the time comes. What is important is we got a new version of Jikiro with a new red paint job and new magnetic powers that prove to be more than a match for Zone Fighter. At least until he has radical surgery. Super Jikiro destroys a huge boat in the beginning of the episode and is implied to be rampaging in Tokyo Harbor, possibly killing untold numbers and disrupting the Japanese economy.

Painting new colors on old toys seems to be the new trick of the Garoga Scientist, because there is also a debut of a Garoga Submarine, which looks exactly like a Garoga Fighter, except it has yellow trim instead of red trim. Big difference there! It doesn’t have immunity from being shot up by Zone Fighter’s flying underwater car, which is an oversight they should have saw the need for before the prototype was even assembled!

Zone Fighter 22 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ

Don’t Zone and drive!


If you watch Zone Fighter just for the random appearances of toy store owner Takeru Jou, then this is a sad episode for you, because it’s the last appearance of the random character who took time away from characterization time for actual members of the Zone Family. We can only assume that he was murdered by the Garoga, and his head now tops Baron Garoga’s cane.

If you like shows with lots of surgery, people getting scalpels to the eye, and innocent people killed, then you’ll totally enjoy this episode! Don’t forget to drop by the Zone Fighter Splash Page for everything Zone Fighter.

Zone Fighter 22 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ

Scene stolen by Pacific Rim!


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Zone Fighter Episode 14 – Takerikuruuzo! Garoga Shounen Kougekitai

Zone Fighter Episode 14 – Takerikuruuzo! Garoga Shounen Kougekitai

aka 猛り狂うぞ! ガロガ少年攻撃隊 aka Insane With Anger! The Garoga Boy’s Squadaka Rampage! The Garoga Boys Attack Force
Zone Fighter 流星人間ゾーン
1973
Written by Masaru Takesue
Directed by Akiyasu Kikuchi

March of Godzilla 2014

Zone Fighter has become the ending of The Wild Bunch!

Zone Fighter is a big bully, there is no denying that. So when the Garoga and a bunch of tiny tots get involved in a conspiracy that involves bullying, Zone Fighter is suddenly anti-bullying! Well, sort of, the bullying just resolves itself naturally, but it is a reason why the main child suddenly goes evil. If you like shows with mobs of boy children in short shorts running around like peewee droogs and smashing up everything and everyone they see, then you will be in for a treat! Unfortunately, we got to sit through a lot of junk before that scene, thought at one point a bird goes evil and starts screaming “Garoga! Garoga!”, so that’s pretty cool. Thanks to the weird factor and the minimob montage sequence, Zone Fighter Episode 14 becomes one of the better Zone Fighter episodes. If you need some Zone Fighter infotainment, stop on by the Zone Fighter Splash Page and get your education on!

This is the first episode where the new credits first appear, the synopsis is ditched and we see it happen as the credits roll, but so do a lot of shots of the show itself, including many many images of Godzilla, almost as if they are trying to emphasize Big G is part of the show for ratings. But he doesn’t show up in this episode, so go back to waiting until I get to an episode that he does appear in!

Zone Fighter 流星人間ゾーン

Baron Garoga died before he finished his scenes, so the rest were filmed using Baron Garoga’s chiropractor!


Baron Garoga has made some chemical so evil he’s totally laughing. Considering it looks like pond scum in a Erlenmeyer flask, maybe it is evil…or it at least smells bad. Baron Garoga gives it to some Garoga in white lab coats with big red crosses (complete with skull at the tope) and huge yellow rubber gloves. I dub them Garoga Scientists, because I can. The Garoga Scientists may have specialized lab coats and safety gloves, but where is their eye protection? Come one, Garoga Scientists, do you want to get a fine???

The Garoga Scientist adds more stuff to the potion and it turns light green, then they rocket it to the Earth. Yes, they waste a rocket transporting a small amount of liquid to some guys who are standing by a truck in the middle of a field. It’s an Undercover Truck, despite the Garoga logo that is an evil snarling Garoga face (minus antennas) Way to keep a low profile, dudes!

Zone Fighter 流星人間ゾーン

Why you shouldn’t masturbate!


A boy in tiny tiny shorts named Tsuyoshi is being lectured by a his mom about how he should go to school and not be afraid of everyone being mean to him because he sucks. Then Akira comes and takes Tsuyoshi, walking him to school while holding his hand. No wonder everyone makes fun of Tsuyoshi! Akira is probably the dorkiest friend you could ever have, and when four bully kids appear and lock arms in front of them, they all attack Tsuyoshi instead of Akira. Also, there is waaaaaay more physical contact between friends in Japan, I guess. Tsuyoshi hangs his head in shame after being mocked.
Zone Fighter 流星人間ゾーン

Say my name!


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Zone Fighter Episode 04 – Raishuu! Garoga Dai Gundan – Gojira Toujou –

Zone Fighter Episode 04 – Raishuu! Garoga Dai Gundan – Gojira Toujou –

aka Onslaught! The Garoga Army: Enter Godzilla! aka Invasion! Garoga’s Grand Army – Godzilla Appears –

1973

Directed by Ishiro Honda
Written by Shozo Uehara


Finally Godzilla’s supposed to show up, right? his name is in the freaking episode! This is old school silly Godzilla, around the time of Gigans, Megalons, and defending the earth from whatever stupid alien is attacking it.

Huzzah! He’s in the preview before the episode! Wooooo! First the theme song:

Zone…Zone…Zone…baka baka baka…eats toliet paper…Zone Fighto!

The Zone Family sees another meteor so goes to investigate, and there Takeru gets beat up by a remote control airplane. Yes, I write the truth. Then Takeru beats up the guy flying the remote control airplane. There is a lot of remote control violence in this episode!

But Hotaru knows this dude from back on Peaceland! He’s another Peaceland survivor named Sachio, and although everyone is suspicious because he’s a violent model airplane assaulter, he gets invited home for dinner by Hotaru.

Later Wargilgar appears! Zone Fighter quickly grows up to fight him. New Zone Fighter special moves include some sort of rainbow doorway that stops Wargilgar’s fire breath briefly. Wargilgar has fire breath that looks very dangerous and also has a double-barreled shotgun come out of its mouth and shoots at Zone Fighter. They fight for a while until Sachio materializes a ray gun that blasts Wargilgar into nothing!

All too easy!


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Zone Fighter Episode 03 – Tatake! Garoga-no Chitei-kichi

Zone Fighter Episode 03 – Tatake! Garoga-no Chitei-kichi

aka Defeat Garoga’s Subterranean Base! aka Strike! Garoga’s Underground Base

1973

Directed by Ishiro Honda
Written by Masaru Takesue


Zone Fighter Episode 3 is here, and like the rest it is weird and unsubtitled. So we don’t need no stinking subtitles, but you might need to read the Zone Fighter Splash Page to get caught up with the series if you are unfamiliar.

Blah blah Peaceland got Alderaned the frak up, the Garogas followed the Zone family to Earth, and now this planet is in danger because the Zone Family only thinks about saving their own skin.

A third guest star kid in as many episodes is Akira’s new best friend. What is with this kid, he can’t keep a friend longer than one episode? And yes, this new kid named Momo has tiny shorts.

Garogas kill a dude via gas in a can that his car runs over and vaporizes the car! Why not do this to the Zone Family? (Because as we see later the guy isn’t killed, only teleported to the Secret Underground Base of the title!)

The Garoga have a Secret Underground Base with mushroom-shaped buildings on Mt. Fuji that isn’t really underground all that much. Maybe it has deep basements, and that’s the secret. I haven’t been this disappointed since I found out Monster Island was a peninsula!

Some Japanese Arab Shieks are in town, and the Zone Family impersonates them as a lure for the Garoga. Are Japanese Arab Shieks that common? I’m leaning towards no.
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