1984 returns as a love story in Equals!
1984 is back again, this time in the future that’s far past 1984, despite it being brought up by ever political pundit ever whenever anyone in power does anything. 1984, overused much?
Now it can be overused in love form, because the upcoming film Equals is the latest version of 1984. But it’s not based on the book by George Orwell. Nope, Equals is based on the 1956 film version of 1984, which is based on the book 1984. This is sort of confusing, and also crazy. Was that cheaper than buying the rights to the book outright???
Despite this news flashing around everywhere that Kristen Stewart and Jennifer Lawrence’s boyfriend Nicholas Hoult (that’s seriously how he is referred to now. I sort of like it, because it’s almost always the woman who is referred to as someone’s boyfriend), the casting has been announced since October, but this is the first time we have some inkling of what Equals is about. Future love in a dystopian society.
The director Drake Doremus talked through the script with Jennifer Lawrence as well, it’s written by the guy who wrote Moon with Duncan Jones, Nathan Parker. There is an inkling this won’t be terrible. In fact, the less this is like 1984, the better it will be. Become your own future dystopia, Equals!
Categories: Movie News Tags: Drake Doremus, Kristen Stewart
Was Kristen Stewart fired from the Snow White and the Huntsman sequel??
Reports are saying Kristen Stewart has been fired from the sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman, despite the fact she’s Snow White, in response to her recent smoochy-smoochy scandal with Rupert Sanders. The reports also say that the studio is sticking with director Rupert Sanders, who is just as guilty, and is even more of a betrayer as he was married with two kids! You can see why he’s still on board, as his directorial style is so hot right now – incomprehensible action scenes, abrupt endings that resolve nothing, borrowing heavily from bigger and better films without acknowledging it… All reasons to put all your money on Sanders instead of blanking everything except Chris Hemsworth. I’m sure it’s totally not sexism, dumping a cash cow like Stewart in favor of a guy who has directed nothing except Snow White and the Huntsman. Either Stewart is testing awful in focus groups, or something is up… Something stupid. Sexism stupid.
Oddly enough, other reports are backtracking now that everyone is freaking out about how firing her is dumb. So who knows what the frak? Either the studio is attempting to shore up DVD sales by putting out a knowingly bogus story to keep the film in the news, or they’re testing things and didn’t expect the backlash from the story they floated.
At one point I was joking online about how the Huntsman should just blunder into the middle of random fairy tales for all the sequels, and that looks like the new direction as the writer who was going to write a Snow White-centered sequel has also been fired, David Koepp. Who will Huntsman save next, Cinderella? Beauty and the Beast? The Little Mermaid? Toy Story? Or will Chris Hemsworth have sex with Rupert Sanders so he can get fired too? I can’t wait to find out.
Categories: Movie News Tags: Chris Hemsworth, David Koepp, Kristen Stewart, Rupert Sanders
Snow White and the Huntsman
Snow White and the Huntsman
2012
Written by Evan Daugherty, John Lee Hancock, and Hossein Amini
Directed by Rupert Sanders
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Snow White and the Movie That Was Far Too Epic!
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No film has ever wanted to be Lord of the Rings more than Snow White and the Huntsman. And I say this as someone who has seen dozens of the LOTR ripoffs that sprang up like weeds in the direct to DVD market in the wake of the Rings trilogy sweeping the box office. From the exact same aerial shots in increasingly less-majestic lands, to elves and orcs and crap arguing about magic swords, to Dragon and Eragon and Curse of the Ring, to Dungeon Siege and any fantasy film that dared to try to copy shots and themes, we were awash in their wake. And now, years later, just before Peter Jackson brings us two Hobbit movies, Snow White gets her Lord of the Rings treatment. And it is bland.
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Now the Queen is trapped in that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode Frame of Mind!
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In a year where two Snow White films raced to the box office, Snow White and the Huntsman strayed behind Mirror Mirror in an attempt to cash in on that sweet summer money. And while Mirror Mirror was targeting 8 year old girls, Snow White and the Huntsman is trying to cast a wider net, aiming to get teens and tweens of both genders. With Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth bringing their box office clout, you would think this is a natural mid-range blockbuster. But thanks to the originality and just weird story editing, we’re left with a more vanilla adventure that seems like a script from fanfiction.net.
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What happens when you don’t eat Granny Smith!
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50 Shades of Grey was originally WHAT???
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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: Bob Hoskins, Brian Gleeson, Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Eddie Marsan, Evan Daugherty, Hossein Amini, Ian McShane, John Lee Hancock, Johnny Harris, Kristen Stewart, Nick Frost, Ray Winstone, Rupert Sanders, Sam Claflin, Sam Spruell, Tars sells out!, Toby Jones