Posts tagged "Kim Yeong-han"

Robotstar Jjanga (Review)

Robotstar Jjanga

aka 로보트 스타 짱가 aka Roboteu seuta Jjang-ga
Robot Star Zangga jjanga
Written and directed by Kim Yeong-han

Robot Star Zangga jjanga

This is your brain being sucked out by Robotstar Zangga!

NOOOOooOOOoooOOooOOOOoooOOO!!!! It’s more awful Korean Children’s cinema! Why do I watch this? Okay, someone requested Robotstar Jjanga, and it’s also the first part of a film series that eventually featured a Korean Batman. But in this prequel, the actor who goes on to be Batman (or Betaman) is an awkward teen who wets the bed. The Dark Knight Returns was never so gritty….wait, I think Batman did wet his pants in some story….

As usual with Korean Children’s movies, the main event is a “funny” fat guy who acts like a giant baby man. He turns out to also be an intergalactic hero who lives on Earth in disguise (and unaware of who he is) until he’s called back to duty, at which point everyone becomes cartoons and character designs are stolen from The Transformers. Hey, this might be the only chance you will ever get to see toy accurate Reflector menace humans! The flying space carrier Fortress Maximus has been used by Transformers canon (a fact I learned thanks to the Transformers Wiki) so that’s not as unique as it seemed. As someone who had the Reflector toy as a lad, it was sort of fun watching him stomp around before he was defeated by a fat guy and an annoying robot. My toy would never suffer such indignity!

Robot Star Zangga jjanga

Who’s insulting the size of my Megapixels???

Said fat guy is named Dung-dung (I’ve found a few names for characters who went nameless back when I reviewed the sequel), and he enjoys chewing gum and stealing food. He lives with a scientist and his misfit family, which consists of bratty children and a grown daughter named Su-Ji. There is also a robot (a guy in suit robot!) named Robokong, who is tolerable only because Dung-dung is so intolerable. Giving and taking, that’s what Korean children’s cinema does. You give your time and it takes your life…

As usual for obscure gems like these, the synopsis portion of Robotstar Jjanga is much larger, to better accommodate people who don’t want to sift through terribly designed Korean blogs to find the streaming videos of these old school films dubbed from VHS tapes. I really, really hate Naver. Hate. Hate Naver. HATE! But not as much as I hate Dung-dung.

Robot Star Zangga jjanga

There’s not even stairs here for this guy to fall down on!

Robotstar Jjanga is written and directed by Kim Yeong-han, the very same maniac who brought us Super Batman & Mazinger V and Hwarang-V Trio! Clearly Kim Yeong-han is a cinematic monster who needs to answer to his crimes. But unfortunately anyone who goes up against him will be forced to turn into a cartoon character and battle giant robots. This is sadly becoming a trend among terrible directors, protected by guardian robots in the realm of animation. Time to bring back Judge Doom so we can get enough Dip to save cinema!
Robot Star Zangga jjanga

The worst part is she isn’t even close to being the worst Star Wars EU character!

Dung-dung (Kim Hyeong-gon) – A gum-chewing manchild who used to be an ace space ranger before he abandoned his duties to live out the seven deadly sins. Dung-dung is a fairly accurate name.
Robokong (???) – The family’s loyal robot, who can transform into a more action-oriented version, but only when he’s a cartoon. Will occasionally do the “Beedy beedy beedy” thing that Twiki from Buck Rogers does.
Princess Sara (???) – Sara is a princess of the Star Planet. What kind of name is that? At least she isn’t from the Moon Planet. Because that would be ridiculous! Like all space princesses, she gets kidnapped a lot. She reminds Dung-dung of who he truly is.
Su-Ji (???) – The eldest daughter of Scientist, which he must have fathered when he was 8 years old or something. She accompanies Dung-dung and Robokong on their adventure, but then doesn’t do much after that.
Rest of family (???, ???, ???, ???) – Scientist, Older Boy who becomes Batman, Younger Boy, Girl in Pigtails. All our fun friends. I hope they all die.
Rust Queen (???) – The Queen of Rust has blue hair for some reason (anime), and also there isn’t a lot of rust around her. Her name is totally inaccurate, this movie is a lie, SAVE YOURSELF! RUUUUUUNN!!!!!!
Gohura (???) – The evil Rust Queen’s henchman. I don’t know if this is a translation thing of if the aliens have rejected gender norms, but in any event Gohura leads the goons that have captured Princess Sara on Earth and is defeated by Dung-dung and the annoying kid squad, largely due to goon incompetence.

Robot Star Zangga jjanga Reflector
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - December 27, 2013 at 3:56 pm

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , ,

Hwarang-V Trio (Review)

Hwarang-V Trio

aka 화랑브이삼총사 aka Hwarangbeu-i samchongsa
Hwarang V Trio
Written and directed by Kim Yeong-han
Hwarang V Trio
With Hwarang-V Trio, we return again to the world of Korean children’s film, a hive of scum and villainy that makes Mos Eisly look like a church choir. Previously, we got stuck on this detail with Super Batman & Mazinger V and Alien Lightning Dragon, and you can expect many more soonter than later. Because if I have to suffer, YOU have to suffer, dear readers! I’m also going to reveal my ignorance in anime robots, so forgive me if I don’t immediately identify popular robots I don’t know anything about if they’ve been ripped off for the cartoon robots in Hwarang-V Trio. Which is highly likely. The main robot is off his animation model so much they might not have even been using the same model.

Hwarang-V Trio features a whole host of enemies each with a ridiculous costume culled from the finest props left over from the dozens of other Korean kiddie films. Or maybe some of these costumes are even new, it’s not like we’d be able to tell the difference, and they’re surely used again in later films.

With that in mind, I’ve dubbed the villainous crew the Evil Circus, because their colorful costumes and presence of an evil Clown lend that thought to mind. I’ve tried to list all of the villains I could, but many just are standing around doing nothing in the background before their untimely death by cartoon robot, so don’t expect much!
Hwarang V Trio
Both the Evil Circus and the heroic band of random children suffer from the same affliction – their numbers randomly increase and shrink, often during the same scene. Characters never seen before join up for an important search of fight sequence and then are never spied again. It’s almost as if the filming was as haphazard as the watching. Despite all the confusion, there is a sort of basic plot of a space princess, annoying children, an evil space queen, and giant robots murdering people. This is why you never get involved in space royalty, the body count racks up so high in the sky that you can’t go twice as high as a butterfly. Because you’re dead!
Hwarang V Trio
Director and writer Kim Yeong-han was involves in several Korean kiddie films, including directing/writing duties on Robotstar Zanga and it’s sequel, Star Zanga Z Mazinga V Super Betaman – which we know as Super Batman & Mazinger V! Besides him, the cast list is impossible to connect names to faces without some outside help, so unless that help shows up in the comments, everything will remain a mystery…

As usual, there are no subtitles (and at TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles!) so everything that happens ranges from conjecture to confusion. But it’s not like things here will make much sense even with pop-up annotation.
Hwarang V Trio

Sky, Earth and Typhoon (???) – These three knuckleheads “inherit the spirit of Hwarang” – which means they get powers from the space Princess Lanka and her weird Helper Guy. They eventually get around to being heroes and then fight the villains with their Power Ranger costumes. They also may or may not have control over the three-part vehicle that shows up at the end of the film to kill everyone bad.
Ae-ri and Princess Lanka (???) – Ae-ri is the girl in the group who also gets super powers, except she doesn’t get to use them as much because she’s a girl. Princess Lanka is the reason everyone is fighting, the villains want her for reaons unknown, so she uses the heroic children that she puts in harm’s way to help defend her life of space princess privilige. Since Ae-ri is supposed to be Air, that makes the four kids the four elements, even though this film is about a trio. That is the caliber of writing quality you can expect from Hwarang-V Trio.
Dr. Baeng-deok (???) – A scientist guy who spends far too much time around a group of children. The only adult in the film who isn’t dressed up as a villain, Dr. Baeng-deok turns garbage into science equipment and helps fight the Evil Circus.
Helper Guy (???) – The Princess’s former bodyguard, who lost the job after he dies. But he does manage to give the Earth kids super powers before he croaks. I am not sure if he is supposed to be a robot or an alien.
Robot (???) – Princess Lanka’s space robot who comes to kick butt and kick more butt. May or may not be named Hwarang-V.
Gorilla Guy (???) – He’s a gorilla guy with skull shirt!
Gorilla Guy #2 (???) – He’s a gorilla guy with bat mask and vampire fangs and skull shirt! Obviously this means a higher rank…
Space Alien Lizard Guy (???) – Hangs out in the cave. Barely moves despite being cool.
Fly Guy (???) – A wicked cool fly costume is used on this goon, who barely does anything and disappears soon after.
Green Guy (???) – He’s a guy in robes with weird skin color!
Evil Clown (???) – An evil clown (is there any other kind?) with a lavender curly wig and black makeup on his eyes and mouth. Is repeatedly beaten up by children.
Evil Stongman (???) – An evil strongman (is there any other kind?) with the required jungle-themed outfit. Is repeatedly beaten up by children.
Wolf Guy (???) – He’s a wolf guy in a skull shirt!
Evil Lady (???) – This evil lady has bats on her outfit and appears to be just below the Evil Queen Serius in power.
Evil Queen’s Many Handmaidens (???) – Some of Queen Serius’s many handmaidens, who mostly stand around looking evil and then get shot.
Evil Queen Serius (???) – The plot description says Serius is the King of Evil. They either meant Queen of Evil or this is the most progressive children’s movie ever! Queen Serius dresses like she’s a Disney villain, and has a skull staff that is the most realistic skull you ever did see. She controls the Evil Circus, desires Princess Lanka for reasons unknown, and controls Two Cartoon Robots.
Two Cartoon Robots (???) – The aforementioned Two Cartoon Robots that Queen Serius controls. They fly and have no legs.

Hwarang V Trio
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - August 25, 2013 at 8:10 am

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , ,