Posts tagged "Hedorah"

Monster King Godzilla (Review)

Monster King Godzilla


1980 (yeah, right!)

Directed by Who the Frak Knows!

It’s March of Godzilla 2011, so let’s get right into it with some weirdo Godzilla flicks you probably haven’t heard of!

Monster King Godzilla is a Godzilla movie mashup that is a very truncated version of the movie ESPy mixed with fight scenes of Godzilla from a bunch G flicks randomly inserted. Part of a couple of films (2, really) supposedly from a Hawaiian TV station that edited them for broadcast. Whether or not that is true, I am not convinced at all (this is discussed more in the upcoming Attack of the Galactic Monsters review) but it is probably just a clever fake. Good job trying to make this look like it came from a VHS tape, it might even have been copied onto one. FYI, the title Monster King Godzilla comes from the Japanese name for the 1956 Godzilla, King of the Monsters recut when it was released in Japan in 1957.

The best piece of research I have found on this is a blog entitled Monster King Godzilla that has one post, entitled Monster King Godzilla, that is just a scan of the supposed VHS jacket the bootleg is from with the same text you see everywhere. Huzzah!

Here is the text that accompanied this film:

“Very rare Godzilla film made for Hawaiin TV in 1980 by Filmways TV USA, 99% stock footage and a bizare wrap around plot involving physic powers make this a very strange film. AVI is from a VHS purchased at the Chiller Theatre convention in the mid 90s. I have never found any record of this film anywhere else.”

Ignoring all the misspellings, either this guy purchased what is probably a hoax and released it himself, or he just made up this story after creating the hoax and is feigning ignorance about the film ESPy.

Whatever the case, it doesn’t matter, as this is a frakked up Godzilla film so we’re gonna review it for March of Godzilla 2011!

First of all, since ESPy is used as a template for all the Godzilla mashup footage, let’s take a brief look at the 1975 Toho ESP/spy flick. It was part of their “mutants” series of films, back when Toho was making wacked out 1970s films that are rather freaky to watch today. The UN sets up an organization called Espy filled with psychics and ESP people, to stop a group called Counter Espy, who are evil psychics and ESP people. Why Counter Espy is named first I have no idea, having not seen the film, but I am guessing because they are psychic! Being psychic probably explains all sorts of plot problems with ESPy. How convenient! Counter Espy tries to kill the Prime Minster of Baltonia:

Prime Minster of Baltonia


Espy stops them, and newbie Espy agent Jiro Miki (Masao Kusakari), his dog Cheetah, veteran Espy agent Yoshio Tamura (Hiroshi Fujioka), and girl Espy agent Maria Harada (Kaoru Yumi) must do battle with the evil Counter Espy leader Ulrov/Wolf (Tomisaburo Wakayama) to save the world from evil people who have special powers. No heads explode, which is a failing of the ESPy series, all one entries in it. Jun Fukuda directed this film along with War in Space, the other source film used in a Godzilla Mashup.

Godzilla flicks used in this film include
Godzilla vs. Megalon
Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla
Revenge of Mechagodzilla
Godzilla vs. Gigan

There are lots of quick edits and huge portions of ESPy is skipped as the film moves in in order to throw in all the Godzilla footage. So there will probably be some vary confusing things mentioned in the plot section, but it is accurate. Having not seen ESPy, I was at an even worse advantage, but I persevered because I’m awesome. You can be awesome too, all you need to do is read this review!

Who cares about the crappy humans, it’s Monster Roll Call!

Godzilla – Godzilla is the King of Monsters, and spends this whole film ruthlessly slaughtering all these throne pretenders.
Megalon – Megalon is a drill-handed lame-o cockroach who gets what’s coming to him.
The Smog Monster – Hedorah is all about the pollution and trying to kill Al Gore. Run for it, Gore!
Mechagodzilla – Godzilla’s robot double is also trouncing around. Why doesn’t Espy use their ESP powers to go all ESP on him? Lazy Espy stock footage scenes.
Titanosaurus – Titanosaurus proves you can be in more than one Godzilla film if some guy edits you into a fan film mashup. Keep dreaming the dream, Titanosaurus!
King Caesar – Hail to the king, baby! Oh, wait, we already got a king… Hm…
King Ghidorah – Hail to the.. We got way too many kings here! Jesus ain’t being born, we only got room for ONE king here, not three! Luckily, King Ghidorah gets beat up again! We’ll give King Caesar a pass because he’s awesome.
Gigan – Gigan is a loser who sucks. I hate you Gigan. But not as much as your mom hates you.
Anguirus – Yes, this blob is Anguirus who wasn’t quite edited out entirely. So now he’s in the Roll Call.


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Posted by Tars Tarkas - March 1, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 19

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 19


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Welcome to another installment of March of Godzilla Island! This time, things will get a bit trippy, because we got mushrooms on the brain! We’re ‘shroomin’ because the latest kaiju to invade Godzilla Island is a revamped Hedorah rechristened “Neo Hedorah”! This doesn’t mean he’s a master of the Matrix, but instead is all new, with a pink and blue tie-dye job. Neo Hedorah is also a fungus among us, because he makes mushrooms grow. I am not sure what pollution has to do with mushrooms, but I bet it makes perfect sense if you are on mushrooms. Which also makes Japanese cinema make more since. Only someone on mushrooms would think to set Rodan on fire, so he becomes Fire Rodan and defeats the power of evil mushrooms. Ah, the Japanese and their wackery! Anyway, for you newbies, hop on over to Godzilla Island Story Arc 1 to get started, while everyone else (including our visitor from Mexico who checks every day for updates – Hello, sir!) continue on with our tale of mushrooms, smog monsters, and flaming kaiju.

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Godzilla fighting Weird Godzilla or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - June 20, 2008 at 11:12 am

Categories: Bad, Movie Reviews   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,