Invasion Roswell and Ghost Shark and swimming to SyFy Thursdays!

Posted on July 15, 2013 by Tars Tarkas

[adrotate banner=”1″]SyFy still has a batch of original movies coming on Thursdays. August 8th brings us the mysterious film Invasion Roswell. We were alerted to Invasion Roswell thanks to an image on twitter of a screener dvd.
Writer Jackson Stewart has said the film is about a pregnant alien dinosaur. No other information is forthcoming because it doesn’t have an imdb page, and I can’t find any information due to the huge huge huge amount of Roswell conspiracy theory sites clogging up Google. But I did learn about Reptillians. Did you know that Reptillians take drugs made from human brain chemicals? This is 100% true, ask your local Reptillian.

August 22 gives us the exciting Ghost Shark, one of our 69 Must See Flicks from The American Film Market. One reason: Griff Furst directs. His SyFy flicks are always a blast. Also, Richard Moll has a role! Huzzah for Night Court!

Synopsis:

Last Fourth of July, teenager Christy Bruce disappeared from a high school beach party. Her severed arm washed ashore a day later. Drunken sea captain Blaise Shaw became a hero to the small seaside community of Harmony after killing the great white shark that was deemed responsible, but the Christy Bruce murder was no shark attack. Blaise turns to ghost hunter Ava Conte, who is skeptical but intrigued by his ghost shark ramblings. With preparations for a massive July 4th celebration rapidly approaching, they soon find themselves embroiled in a conspiracy of sex and murder involving the town’s wealthiest and most powerful citizens. Unprepared to contend with a Ghost Shark that can hunt on land, sea, as well as anywhere there is enough water or rain to sustain its phantom form, Blaise and Ava must uncover the truth about the towns dark past or fall victim to the Ghost Shark.

DreadCentral has a trailer

Shouldn’t Ghost Shark be eating Ghost Bikini Babes?

SyFy: a fountain of monster fun!

Alligator Alley is Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators, still SyFy bound

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Tars Tarkas

[adrotate banner=”1″]Time to pour out a 40 for the loss of a great movie title, as Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators is now known as Alligator Alley. Or maybe the film will just have both titles, as the production company site still has the Ragin Cajun name, but the Alligator Alley title on the mockup posters. Even old production posters have the Alligator Alley name. Whatever title this ends up having on SyFy, rest assured it will be funtastic!

From two feuding Cajun families, college grad LACY DOUCETTE and DATHAN ROBICHAUD have to keep their love affair secret, but when Dathan’s dad’s discarded “blue moonshine” results in mutated, gigantic, predatory gators, both families have to work together to get rid of the gators. Unfortunately, the truce doesn’t last long, and the toxic moonshine causes anyone bit by a gator to actually turn into one…

Awesome director Griff Furst helms this one, with Victor Webster, Christopher Berry, and Jordan Hinson starring. DreadCentral has a trailer which is linked below.

Of further note, a film called Snakehead Swamp is listed on Active Entertainment’s site with no further information. Hmmm….

via DreadCentral

Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators will rockodile!

Posted on March 11, 2013 by Tars Tarkas

[adrotate banner=”1″]Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators is a real title for a real movie destined to become a SyFy classic. Fantastic director Griff Furst (Arachnoquake) is helming Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators and it took three people to write it – SyFy veteran Rafael Jordan, and Rise of the Zombies co-writers Delondra Williams and Keith Allan. This is a surprisingly strong combination of solid talent that promises an entertaining flick beyond the fact the title is ridiculous!

Jordan Hinson (Eureka) and Victor Webster (Continuum) star. I’ve never seen them in anything so I can’t give any lame snarky jokes here. So far all the info we got is from the IMDB page. When it does get an airdate on SyFy, we shall stop out gator wrasslin’ and let you know!

Arachnoquake (Review)

Posted on September 25, 2012 by Tars Tarkas

Arachnoquake

2012
Written by Paul A. Birkett and Eric Forsberg
Directed by Griff Furst

Prepare to get ARACHNOQUAKED!!! That’s when there is an earthquake, and GIANT FIRE-BREATHING ALBINO SPIDERS attack! It’s two disasters in one, crawling on eight legs and ready to roast and chomp you! Griff Furst directs this SyFy creature feature, and he has a pretty good track record of delivering an entertaining flick. Once again, a Furst knocks it out of the park, giving us some fun monster mayhem. The flaws in the flick are easily overlooked in the face of giant white spider death!

Now, a common theme for monster flicks is that the monsters were always there, just chilling in a closed off area that recently comes exposed thanks to mankind doing something awful like being greedy. SyFy flicks such as Caved In: Prehistoric Terror, Malibu Shark Attack, and Jersey Shore Shark Attack all feature a similar scenario. And so does Arachnoquake. The twist is, the earthquakes exposing the spider den were caused by fracking, the controversial process of injecting pressurized liquid into shale beds in order to extract hydrocarbons (aka oil), which has been blamed for everything from earthquakes to contaminating groundwater and making it flammable. Despite the big hubbub, fracking is barely mentioned in media. And while I don’t think it will lead to giant flame-breathing albino spiders destroying the American south, I do think it sucks.

Arachnoquake is more fun than a barrel of spiders. Parts are high energy, though it will veer off as we enter zones of plot development. The action is focused closer to the ground so we don’t really see the scope of the giant spider menace, but it would appear multiple states are in for a lot of problems. Arachnoquake does a good balance of not taking itself too seriously, but still being serious enough you feel the characters are in danger.

	Paul (Bug Hall) – Paul is a drunken slacker who is down on his luck and doesn’t really want to do the bus tour he has to host. Driving the bus turns him into a de facto leader, which gives him a sense of responsibility he didn’t know he had or wanted. They have a guy named Bug Hall in a giant bug movie? Yes, spiders aren’t technically bugs, but then my joke is ruined. Don’t take that away from me!
	Katelynn (Tracey Gold) – A science teacher who is just on a tour and didn’t sign up for this giant spider nonsense! But now she must protect her kids. She also needs a new inhaler. Her asthma attack becomes a phantom plotline, coming and going whenever it is convenient.
	Charlie Blackwell (Edward Furlong) – The most realistic girls softball coach of all time! I don’t know what happened to Edward Furlong, he looked semi-okay just a year earlier, but now he looks like he is possessed by the ghost of Brad Dourif’s father. He spends most of the film in his own plotline.
	Roy (Ethan Phillips) – Paul’s dad, who spends most of the film either yelling at Paul or blaming Paul for everything ever.
	Petra (Olivia Hardt) – Paul’s sister, who is eager to help her dad and prove responsible, but besides wearing short shorts she does little after that.
	Anabell (Megan Adelle) – Charlie’s daughter who does more to help her mom despite her past issues than her brother.
	Spiders (CGI) – White albino spiders that breath fire and live underground in the darkness, until fracking causes them to be released to destroy New Orleans. They don’t have much of a brain.
	Queen Spider (CGI) – The boss spider, uses her massive brain to control all the other spiders and likes to cocoon people up for dinner.

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SyFy Channel in June is Monster Movie Heaven!

Posted on May 10, 2012 by Tars Tarkas

[adrotate banner=”1″]June looks like it will be one of the best months for SyFy films since Chupacabra Were-Vampire vs. Space Quake Snake. And while that film might not exist yet, these four new films do exist and will bring a world of hilarity and awesome to the small screen:

June 9th brings us Jersey Shore Shark Attack. Check out your Snookies and J-WOWs vs ocean death, and pray that the Jersey Shore loses big time. Only sharks can save America from Snooki’s baby! Jack Scalia and Paul Sorvino star, while the Jersey characters have names like TC “The Complication”, BJ, J-Moni, and Nooki. John Shepphird (Chupacabra Terror) directs.

Next week on June 16th is Piranhaconda – Jim Wynorski’s new flick about the Part Snake! Part Fish! All Killer! Michael Madsen and Rachel Hunter star, and the title alone is worth a view! The trailer recently popped up.

June 23rd gives us Arachnoquake – the awesomely titled film where and earthquake causes giant albino spiders to get unleashed upon the Earth to attack Tracey Gold, Ethan Phillips, Bug Hall, and Edward Furlong.

Griff Furst directs, he’s proven he can direct a fun SyFy flick (and be fun as well when he shows up in one of his dad’s films)

I couldn’t find a trailer, so here’s an interview with Furst and some of the cast:

And finally June 30th gives us Bigfoot, which is notable because Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams are following the Tiffany/Debbie Gibson route and teaming up for a SyFy film where they play rivals! Sherilyn Fenn, Howard Hesseman, and Alice Cooper also star.

Needless to say, the DVRs are being set as we speak to make June the SyFyest month of them all!

Basilisk: The Serpent King (Review)

Posted on July 4, 2009 by Tars Tarkas

Basilisk: The Serpent King

2006
Directed by Stephen Furst

SciFi Channel churns out more original films than an original film churner-outer (Okay, I couldn’t think of a funny reference!) and many of them are just below average dreck that gave SciFi Channel a reputation of awfulness. But sometimes they aren’t bad and are actually fun. Thus, Basilisk: The Serpent King is one of those fun films, because otherwise I would be talking about how this isn’t a fun film and was terrible, now wouldn’t I? See, you are a smart audience, that is why I write for you! So Basilisk: The Serpent King manages to be entertaining, with a few good characters and some funny scenes. The best SciFi Channel monster films are the ones that don’t take themselves too seriously, have memorial actors, and have a plot that keeps the story moving but lets the monster do most of the killing. We got all of the winning elements here, so read on to see how it wins! Or I will turn you to stone or send Fawkes to peck out your eyes or something. Parselmouth!

Director Stephen Furst has also directed the SciFi Channel original Dragon Storm, but he is best known as Flounder from Animal House and Vir Cotto from Babylon 5.

	Dr. Harrison “Harry” McColl (Jeremy London) – TS from Mallrats? You are here again? This time, Jeremy London is Dr. Harry McColl, famous archeologists who is lucky at digging stuff up in the desert, but unlucky as the stuff comes alive and kills people. He’s totally gonna get sued! See Jeremy London still looking like Brendan Fraser in The Terminators.
	Rachel Donegal (Wendy Carter) – Professor of religious studies, which is in the archeology department because the school is small, I guess. Rachel Donegal is also the love interest, so good thing she’s single. Wendy Carter returned to the SciFi Channel-verse in Copperhead.
	Colonel Douglas (Cleavant Derricks) – Rembrant from Sliders? Awesome! Colonel Douglas is the military officer called on the scene to deal with the Basilisk menace. Unlike most military officers, he usually listens to the scientists who know what is going on! That is why Cleavant Derricks rules. That, and Sliders.
	Rudy Herman Skeeters (Griff Furst) – Harry’s grad student and right hand man. Rudy spends much of the film quipping jokes and doing research. Griff Furst is the son of the director.
	Hannah Carmilina Turlini Frankman (Yancy Butler) – Hannah Carmilina Turlini Frankman’s full name is a total guess because I didn’t see it spelled out. She and her husband Brock fund McColl’s project because they are planning to steal the artifacts due to one of them being a map to a huge treasure. Yancy Butler is Witchblade, but I knew her from The Ex years before.
	Brock (Doug Dearth) – Hannah’s husband and his name is totally not Biff. Don’t call him Biff. Even though he is stiff, as in turned to stone. Then he has a crack up as the Basilisk shatters him. Them’s the breaks!
	The Basilisk (CGI) – The Serpent King here is more of a queen, what with being a gravid female. Turns people to stone with eye power and venom power, but also is turned to stone via eclipse power.