Ghost Shark
Ghost Shark
2013
Written by Eric Forsberg and Griff Furst
Screenplay by Paul A. Birkett
Directed by Griff Furst
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Great, another fun toy banned because of some dumb kid…
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G-G-G-G-G-G-Ghost Shark???! Yes, it’s true, a murdered shark returns to life via magic, become a spectral terror that haunts all bodies of water, from the ocean to your cup of coffee. Ghost Shark can manifest anywhere there is wet stuff about, allowing for an array of amazing and ridiculous kill scenes. Slip-n-slides, fire hydrants, the rain, and water coolers all become home for the Ghost Shark.
Finally a legitimate time to use KFC’s terrible “I ate the bones” slogan complete with a bucket!
Though Ghost Shark was made independently of Sharknado, it premiered soon after, and features many crazy shark antics. Thus, comparisons are inevitable. I liked Ghost Shark slightly better, as I feel the story outside of the crazy shark antics is better. While Sharknado deals with a man trying to protect his family in the midst of chaos, Ghost Shark is a revenge tale where teens deal with a problem the authorities think is too crazy to be real. But we’re in the world of SyFy, baby, and Ghost Sharks are just icing on the cake of carnage.
Ghost Shark features one of the best female leads in a monster movie ever. Mackenzie Rosman’s Ava doesn’t just sit around and get into trouble, she’s actively attempting to solve the problem of the ghost shark that claimed her father’s life, saving her sister, and relegating the male lead to also ran status. Ava gets stuff done. Ava is never in a point where she needs to be “rescued” by the male lead in an attempt to shows that strong women always need a guy around. In fact, Ava actively dismisses Blaise, assigning him to watch over her sister. Blaise fails in so many things that he does do, it’s a wonder he manages to keep Cicely from being eaten (heck, Ghost Shark does eat her…then spits her out!) Ava figures out that there is something supernatural at work, that Finch knows something about Ghost Shark’s secret, that the authority figures in town are dumb as a baby’s bottom, and that if anything is going to get done, it’s going to require her to step up and bust this Ghost Shark! She’s also not victim to some false feminism where she kicks butt, but has to do so in skintight leather or torn outfits. After the initial beach encounter, she ditches the bikini for sensible attire.
Once news came out that Ghost Shark was written and directed by Griff Furst, it became a must watch regardless of the premise. Furst’s films for SyFy (Arachnoquake, Swamp Shark, Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators ) are always inventive and fun, filled with crazy scenarios that unfold in ways you don’t expect, and often taking real world issues as inspiration. While ghost carnivores are not a real world issue any place I am familiar with is deal with at this time, places whitewashing their histories and incompetent authority figures are an actual problem.
Reverse Pac-Man!
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Our dad is dead, his cap is red (with blood) Who we gonna call?
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Age of Hobbits pics
Asylum’s mockbuster Age of Hobbits has hit the point where they put a bunch of photos up on flickr, so let’s celebrate by embedding a few of them in this post! As I’m sure you recall, the plot of this future epic feature is:
In an ancient age, the small, peace-loving Hobbits are enslaved by the Java Men, a race of flesh-eating dragon-riders. The young Hobbit Goben must join forces with their neighbor giants, the humans, to free his people and vanquish their enemies.
Age of Hobbits was filmed in Cambodia, and stars Christopher Judge and Bai Ling. This will turn out to be one of the least weird movies Bai Ling has been in! It comes out on DVD/VOD on December 11, 2012.
More info on Asylum’s website
Categories: Movie News Tags: Asylum, Bai Ling, Christopher Judge, Eric Forsberg, Joseph Lawson, mockbuster, Sun Korng
Arachnoquake (Review)
Arachnoquake
2012
Written by Paul A. Birkett and Eric Forsberg
Directed by Griff Furst
Prepare to get ARACHNOQUAKED!!! That’s when there is an earthquake, and GIANT FIRE-BREATHING ALBINO SPIDERS attack! It’s two disasters in one, crawling on eight legs and ready to roast and chomp you! Griff Furst directs this SyFy creature feature, and he has a pretty good track record of delivering an entertaining flick. Once again, a Furst knocks it out of the park, giving us some fun monster mayhem. The flaws in the flick are easily overlooked in the face of giant white spider death!
Now, a common theme for monster flicks is that the monsters were always there, just chilling in a closed off area that recently comes exposed thanks to mankind doing something awful like being greedy. SyFy flicks such as Caved In: Prehistoric Terror, Malibu Shark Attack, and Jersey Shore Shark Attack all feature a similar scenario. And so does Arachnoquake. The twist is, the earthquakes exposing the spider den were caused by fracking, the controversial process of injecting pressurized liquid into shale beds in order to extract hydrocarbons (aka oil), which has been blamed for everything from earthquakes to contaminating groundwater and making it flammable. Despite the big hubbub, fracking is barely mentioned in media. And while I don’t think it will lead to giant flame-breathing albino spiders destroying the American south, I do think it sucks.
Arachnoquake is more fun than a barrel of spiders. Parts are high energy, though it will veer off as we enter zones of plot development. The action is focused closer to the ground so we don’t really see the scope of the giant spider menace, but it would appear multiple states are in for a lot of problems. Arachnoquake does a good balance of not taking itself too seriously, but still being serious enough you feel the characters are in danger.
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Categories: Bad, Movie Reviews Tags: Bug Hall, Edward Furlong, Eric Forsberg, Ethan Phillips, giant spiders, Griff Furst, Megan Adelle, Olivia Hardt, Paul A. Birkett, SciFi Channel, Skyy Moore, Tiara Gathright, Tracey Gold
Age of the Hobbits synopsis
The Asylum’s filmed in Cambodia mockbuster Age of the Hobbits has advanced to the point that a plot synopsis and actors have appeared on their official site.
In an age long ago, the last village of clever, peace-loving Hobbits is attacked and enslaved by the Java Men, komodo-worshiping, dragon-riding cannibals. Now the young Hobbit Goben, along with his father and sister, must seek help from the “giants” (human hunters) to find the Javas’ lair and rescue the last surviving Hobbits, Goben’s mother among them. In their quest to destroy the Javas, the heroic partnership of humans and Hobbits will transform both species forever.
From the sound of it, they’re incorporating a lot of details from various homonid species. The Hobbits are the so-called real Hobbits, Homo floresiensis. The Java Men also take their name from a Homo erectus subspecies colloquially called Java Man (Homo erectus erectus) The Komodo mentions means the whole thing is set in the Indonesian region, where Java Man and the Flores Man are both found. So this is basically Quest for Fire meets Willow meets Caravan of Courage. Which I like. Christopher Judge (Stargate), Bai Ling (all sorts of awesome stuff), and Sun Korng (I have no idea) are attached. Joseph Lawson directed, he actually did digital work on the LOTR trilogy, as well as directing Nazis at the Center of the Earth. Writer Eric Forsberg wrote the entertaining Arachnoquake. This means Age of the Hobbits could be pretty good. Just don’t be boring, that’s all I ask!
Actual photo of Bai Ling
pic via
Categories: Movie News Tags: Asylum, Bai Ling, Christopher Judge, Eric Forsberg, Joseph Lawson, mockbuster, Sun Korng
