Posts tagged "Dean Cain"

A Wish Come True blows out its candles on Hallmark Channel!

A Wish Come True Hallmark

My wish was to be in the rich people cars in Snowpiercer and it came true! Thanks, Hallmark Channel!

If I know anything, it’s that this youth-obsessed culture of ours seems to think that women over thirty are trash, and if they aren’t married by then, they are extra trash with trashy cherries on top. Hence all that dating advice about never dating a 29-year-old, because she’ll just want to get married. Luckily, as modern women are sticking their middle fingers up to this nonsense and getting married if and when they damn well please, the anxiety of turning thirty is beginning to lose a tiny bit of its power. But it is still very powerful, hence becoming the magic motivator of Hallmark Channel’s latest movie, A Wish Come True!

On the night of her 30th birthday, Lindsay Corwin, an unlucky environmentalist with a string of bad relationships, decides to make the ultimate wish: for all of her birthday wishes to come true. When her nearly three decades of wishes, including everything from losing weight to meeting Mr. Right, start magically coming true all at once, Lindsay is awestruck — until she
realizes the life and the man, she’s always wished for might not be the one she really wants.

I remember on my 30th birthday, I tried wishing in one hand, and crapping in the other. Then the police said I was making “a scene” at the Target. I never wished again…

A Wish Come True features a special appearance by Dean Cain as Dean Cain. Yes, he’s transitioned from playing characters in dozens of low-budget films into playing himself in low-budget films!

In addition to Dean Cain, A Wish Come True stars Megan Park (So Undercover) as Lindsay, Benjamin Hollingsworth (PopFan) as Dave, Anthony Lemke (American Psycho) as Reed, and Aidan Shipley (Frenemies) as Joey. Mark Rosman (the classic Disney Channel flick Life-Size) writes and directs. A Wish Come True was originally titled 30th Birthday.

A Wish Come True premieres Saturday, January 31 on Hallmark Channel. It’s part of their Countdown to Valentine’s Day event, where they play 300 hours of romantic movies including a bunch of new stuff like this.

Photo via Hallmark/Christos Kalohoridis

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 21, 2015 at 1:39 pm

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The Three Dogateers bring more talking dogs home alone!

Can we just admit that “Talking Dog Home Alone” is a legitimate film genre now? Because it has happened again with The Three Dogateers, a film that not only exists, but stars Dean Cain, of dozens of TV movies fame. Prior “Talking Dog Home Alone” we’ve learned of at TarsTarkas.NET are: Bone Alone (Alone for Christmas), Abner The Invisible Dog, and Step Dogs. This makes four, which means you can have an all night marathon!

The Three Dogateers was written and directed by Jesse Baget, the writer/director of Wrestlemaniac. It also stars Richard Riehle as Santa, because Santa is the best friend of talking dogs who are home alone. It’s the law. The Santa Law! If you don’t know if you want to watch the film yet, just know that the dogs drive a car. Now you want to watch it, or you’re crazy! You ain’t crazy, right? Of course not.

Anyway, enjoy The Three Dogateers as I await the confirmation that a fifth movie in the “Talking Dog Home Alone” genre exists. Soon Star Trek will be outnumbered by talking dogs! MuHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - November 16, 2014 at 8:41 pm

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Fw:Fw:Re:Fw:Fw: God's Not Dead

Morgan Freeman God

That was Nelson Mandela that died, you idiots!

Straight from dad’s email to your movie screen, God’s Not Dead will be the final word on that story about how a random kid in class totally owned a smug atheist professor who declared God was not real, by saying he was. What happened next is usually the professor breaks his chalk and storms off, never to be seen again. Or he dies (YIKES!) There is also the hilarious version where the professor demands God punch him, and then a Marine punches the professor because “MARINES SEMPER FI!”

If you troll right wing forums like I used to do you’ve probably run across this a million times. I’ve also had it forwarded to me by several relatives. The tale is popular enough that someone finally is making it into a film. Will this be the future of all email forwards? Because that means we’ll have a lot of Nigerian prince movies very shortly…

“God’s Not Dead” is a new Christian film about faith and the limits one young man will go to in order to defend his belief in God. The movie stars Kevin Sorbo (Hercules, Andromeda, Soul Surfer), Shane Harper (Good Luck Charlie, High School Musical 2), and features a concert appearance by Gold Record award-winning and Christian super-band Newsboys. The movie also stars Dean Cain (Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) and David A. R. White (Evening Shade, The Moment After 1 and 2, Jerusalem Countdown).

Official Site

Free screenings of this are starting to blanket my feeds, so if anyone wants to check it out and report back, that would be cool!

UPDATE: I have just been informed the producers are leeching off the Duck Dynasty controversy and painting their film as a free speech issue! You might recall the Duck Dynasty patriarch made comments against gays (and might not recall his racist comments since no one bothered to mention them!) and then A&E decided a non-punishment was totally justifiable because they love getting that sweet sweet Duck Dynasty money. Sorry blacks and gays!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 10, 2014 at 1:29 pm

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Airplane vs Volcano brings the battle we've all been waiting for!

Airplane vs Volcano
Just when you thought disaster movies couldn’t be wacky enough, now they’ve gone to fight mode! Airplane vs. Volcano is not a weird double feature of unrelated films, but instead the new Asylum films where a plane is trapped by a bunch of volcanoes. Because that happens. Don’t laugh, or you will be the one trapped on a plane surrounded by volcanoes!

At least they aren’t surrounded by Sharknadoes!

When a commercial airliner is trapped within a ring of erupting volcanoes, the passengers and crew must find a way to survive – without landing.

Never fear, Dean Cain himself is there to save the day! Also Robin Givens, who is the fiercest volcano battler the world has ever seen! No trailer I could find as of yet, but there is still time!

James and Jon Kondelik wrote and direct. This is their first co-directing film, but both have been involved in numerous Asylum productions from editing to writing to casting.

Airplane vs. Volcano hits DVD/VOD May 27, 2014, and might even see a limited theatrical run on March 28!

Maybe next time Airplane will fight Mecha-Volcano!

Asylum link

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 6, 2014 at 8:02 am

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Dragon Fighter (Review)

Dragon Fighter

Dean Cain as Captain David Carver
Kristine Byers as Dr. Meredith Winter
Robert Zachar as Dr. Ian Drackovich
Marcus Aurelius as Dr. Greg Travis
Robert DiTillio as Kevin Korisch

Dragons in Space seem too ridiculous for you? How about…Dragons Underground? Sci-Fi Channel answers the question that has plagued mankind for ages: What would happen if a dragon was trapped in an underground compound? This is no ordinary dragon, but it’s a science fiction movie staple dragon, which is a big bunch of CGI. What can stop this CGI terror? A bunch of LOTR rip-offs? Christian Bale? Superman? Hey, Superman is right! Dean Cain is on the case, and he is all that stands between Dragon domination of the underground and Homo sapiens superiority. Dean Cain is the Kryptonite to dragons, who demand that the son of Jor-El kneel before them. Will Superman emerge triumphant? Will dragons have their day? Will this movie rip off large sections of Alien and Aliens like every other low-budget sci-fi flick? Read on, gentle readers, and make sure you’re wearing some flame-retardant clothes for when the dragons strike.

Read more…

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 21, 2006 at 4:34 am

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , ,