Cleavagefield (Review)


Directed by Jim Wynorski (as Salvadore Ross)

Yes, this is an erotic parody of Cloverfield, and it follows most of the plot to the nines. It is complete with random shots of other days, and most of the film is a first person hand held camera. Since the film isn’t entirely taking itself seriously, there are a few instances of breaking the fourth wall. The film occasionally breaks into shots of Tom’s visit to Hawaii where there are two blonde girls (Davina Murphy and Dallas Lowe) that just ended up being annoying, so I fast forwarded through those parts.

Cleavagefield is a humor movie, so don’t expect cool monster sequences and military fights. Expect naked chicks and a monster strolling along every once in a while. The origin of the film is interesting, it started out as a joke on the Retromedia Message Boards and people got interested. Thus, the joke became reality. It was originally joked under the title Chestyfield, for those of you who are interested. At this time there is scant information about the cast online, and due to the fact I am not as knowledgeable about some of these actresses as I should be, I don’t know what other names some of them are probably better known as (Brandee Schaefer in particular) I tried, that is all I can say.

Maggie Daniels (Brandee Schaefer) – Maggie is a good mother to her chihuahua and willing to go to any lengths to get her back. Even braving a giant monster is no challenge.
Vicki Conners (Amy Ried) – Vicki Conners is the most famous stripper in the film, she will be headlining clubs in Asia, one of the few people who will go to Japan to get away from a giant monster! Amy Ried has starred in such fine pornographic fare as Leztravaganza!, The Boobs of Hazzard, and Cum in My Ass Not in My Mouth 5.
Carla (Rebecca Love) – Carla is all about the debriefing. Rebecca Love was seen her previously in Ghost in the Teeny Bikini and Bewitched Housewives, so read those if you want more on her.
Debbie (Lucia Santos) – Debbie is the girl who knows how to operate the TV remote. Yep. She also manages to get attacked by one of Junior’s pets. Her preening for the camera reminds me of Vanessa Hudgens. Lucia Santos is an actress of the adult variety, and was in The Da Vinci Coed.
Tom Warner (Frankie Cullen) – Our cameraman who will give sarcastic jokes throughout the film. At various times he leaves to join in the action himself. Frankie Cullen was in Bikini Airways.
Fifi (herself) – Maggie’s dog who likes to watch. Is a practical joker and watches TV. Fifi is more developed as a character than any other cast member.
Junior (CGI – credited as Guy Green!) – The Cleavagefield monster! He’s green, he’s mean, he’s got a big belly. Junior tramples around downtown LA because that’s what he does. Has snot attacks and is impervious to all weapons. Please ignore how he looks like a monster from the old Superman cartoons.
Junior’s pets (CGI) – Junior is crawling with some flying lobster monsters that were dubbed his pets. One of them tries to make dinner out of Debbie. At one point these were going to be moth-mites and chew off people’s clothes.

Continue reading