The Bride He Bought Online
PRANKED!!! You got so pranked!
Lifetime brings us an amazing tale of pranking gone wrong, internet danger, guy who goes nuts, and teen girls stuffed in trunks! The Bride He Bought Online is pure, concentrated Lifetime amazement that raises the bar for their original movies. It’s not really that much of a surprise, for not only is this a Lifetime movies superstar writer Christine Conradt script, she also directs it! Conradt clearly knew she had to up her game, and blasted past that goal and then some! We can only hope this is the beginning of a new level of awesome flicks!
It’s high school, and our trio of main girls are concerned with what everyone in high school is concerned with, views on their secret pranking website! Wait, huh? We’ve entered the world of internet prank videos, a genre that has flourished on YouTube despite the fact most of them are terrible and/or totally fake. But, sure, whatever you want to watch is your business, TarsTarkas.NET can’t really judge based on some of the films we’ve reviewed!
Avery Lindstrom (Anne Winters) is the nice girl who is so done with pranking and is thinking about her future, she also serves as a bookend narrator. Mandy Kim (Lauren Gaw) once was overweight and unpopular, but is now part of the cool squad and desperately wants to stay there. She is starting to have some moral objections to the non-stop pranks, but let’s Kaley push her around. Kaley Mack (Annalisa Cochrane) is attractive, popular, and is the driving force behind the secret prank website. She’s the reason the other two are popular at school, and schemes up the latest and greatest pranks in her quest for social media love.
“We need content. Content equals followers.” – Mandy
“And followers equals?” -Avery
“Everything!” – Kaley
It’s Mommy Madness Marathon for Lifetime, with two movies with “Mommy” in the title for lots of Lifetime fun. Besides Mommy’s Little Boy, we also have Double Mommy (hence why they’re not calling it a Double Mommy Weekend!), and both of these films are sequels in spirit to prior Lifetime movies with similar titles and creative teams! Mommy’s Little Boy gets our interest because it’s written by Christine Conradt, who writes so many awesome Lifetime flicks that I can’t even begin to list them all! She’s the person we write about the most when it comes to Lifetime movies, and for good reason, because she’s awesome! This means Mommy’s Little Boy will be packed with all sorts of twists and turns and crazy craziness that makes Lifetime original movies so amazing and unique!
When ten-year-old Eric’s older brother Max drowns, Eric’s mother Briana takes the death of her favorite son especially hard and spirals into a dark depression. Eric, already haunted guilt over not saving Max and desperate for attention, begins spending time with the family of his baseball coach Michael. When, in a drunken rage, Briana commits a fatal crime, she decides to take Eric and hit the road. Discovering he’s about to be ripped away from his surrogate family, Eric takes a stand against his mother and enlists the help of the person he trusts most–Michael.
Mommy’s Little Boy stars Bree Williamson (Sins of the Preacher ), Peter DaCunha (Home Alone: The Holiday Heist), Paul Popowic (Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return), Sebastian Pigott (Roxy Hunter and the Mystery of the Moody Ghost), Natalie Lisinska (Sorority Surrogate), and Allison Graham (A Nanny’s Secret) It’s directed by Curtis Crawford (all the Lifetime _____ they Met Online movies)
Mommy’s Little Boy premieres Saturday, March 18th on Lifetime!
Lifetime breaks out the creepy with Boy in the Attic (formally known as Secrets in the Attic), the story about a boy who secretly lives in a family’s attic, and of course the daughter falls in love with him because drama. Unlike other movies about a weirdo secretly living inside a house, this one might not be a serial killer. Maybe. He’s framed, or so he says! But is he???
The script is by Christine Conradt (from a story by Ken Sanders), which is great because she is the Queen of Lifetime Original Movies, so you know it is going to be full of ridiculous Lifetime tropes and twists!
A teen girl and her mom inherit an old house… but little do they know that a mysterious person is hiding in the attic — a teen boy who has been living there for months. When the girl finally meets the boy, she falls in love with him and agrees to keep his hiding place a secret from everyone, including her mother. But when she finds out that he has been falsely accused of murder, she must decide if she will risk everything to protect him.
Boy in the Attic is directed by Paul Shapiro (Spring Break Shark Attack) and stars Abbie Cobb (The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story), Gina Holden (I Didn’t Kill My Sister), Iain Belcher (Preggoland), and Max Lloyd-Jones (The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story). Yes, that’s right, two actors from The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story reunite and now we can warp reality and make this film into 90210 fanfic! Huzzah!
Boy in the Attic premieres Saturday, August 20th on Lifetime!
If you ever thought Lifetime would eventually run out of people to be obsessed with other people and then everything comes up murder, you can’t be more wrong. There is an endless supply of jobs for people to get obsessed with other people, hence The Maid bringing out someone who is close to the family but not part of the family. Hey, at least it isn’t the internet this time!
When 19-year-old Laura receives disturbing messages and threats, she believes she’s being stalked by her ex-boyfriend. But when the pranks follow her 3,000 miles home, she quickly finds out it is someone she’s never even met who has a bizarre reason for wanting her dead.
The Maid stars Kathryn Newton, Fay Masterson, Kenton Duty, Doug Haley, Castille Landon, and Lee Broda. It’s directed by Darin Scott (Megachurch Murder) and written by Christine Conradt (So much Lifetime it’s crazy!) Christine Conradt as the writer is pretty much a guarantee that this will be awesome, even if you didn’t think the topic of a maid becoming obsessed with a high school student and then going all murder spree on her wasn’t already awesome. Though I’d sort of question your interest in Lifetime movies if that was the case! Until I actually watch the film I won’t know how the power dynamic is going to play out, because situations where a rich family has a maid will usually cause me to sympathize with the maid, sometimes even if she tries to kill people.
The Maid premieres Saturday, May 28th on Lifetime!
Holy crap, Mommy’s Little Girl looks fantastically cheesy! A tiny girl becomes the villain as she leaves a trail of bodies against all those that stand between her and her mom! This includes the awesome scene in the trailer of her bashing a dude in the back of the head with a baseball bat! This is Lifetime I can get behind!
Eleven year-old Sadie was raised in a remote country house by her controlling grandparents. Now finally reunited with her mother, she won’t let anything, or anyone, get in the way of her new found happiness.
Mommy’s Little Girl stars Fiona Gubelman(911 Nightmare), Emma Hentschel(Open Heart), and James Gallanders(Bride of Chucky). It is written by longtime Lifetime contributor Christine Conradt (So many Lifetime movies it is crazy!) and directed by Curtis Crawford (Killing Daddy, all the ___ Met Online movies) Basically, this is the strongest pedigree of Lifetime movies you can hope for, and the trailer in the link looks amazing, so it is a definite much watch!
Mommy’s Little Girl premieres Saturday, March 19, on Lifetime!
Teenagers and the internet are like gasoline and matches in the hands of Lifetime! With The Bride He Bought Online, teen girls pranking a guy into thinking he bought a woman turns tragic when the man turns out to be crazy. I know, disturbed people on the internet? What fiction! But is is real enough for our trio of heroines, who aren’t that nice either, so who are we rooting for? Blood and death, that’s who!
The Bride He Bought Online is the directorial debut of Lifetime Channel superstar Christine Conradt, who has written around forty of the channel’s most ridiculous movies, including most of the “_____ at 17” films and the “____________ He/She Met Online” movies. Conradt knows how to deliver a good script full of crazy scenes, and her connections have probably allowed her to be on set for many of these films. So I think things are in good hands, and I hope this is the beginning of a whole new slew of Christine Conradt Lifetime mania!
Driven by the growing popularity of a prank blog they’ve created, three teen girls decide to play a ‘catfishing’ joke. They create a fake profile of a beautiful woman on an international mail order bride site, and then wait to see which “pathetic losers” fall for her. One does– a lonely, unstable computer programmer named John. After weeks of being led on, John buys the fictitious woman a plane ticket to come visit him in the U.S. The girls show up at the airport to film his devastation, but when his bride doesn’t show, something snaps in John. The teens have no clue that the man they duped is deeply disturbed and will plan an inconceivable revenge that they will be lucky to survive.
Teens, a crazy guy, the Internet coming to kill you, midriffs, Baywatch alums, kidnappings, and follower count obsessions mean this Lifetime flick looks tops!
The Bride He Bought Online stars Anne Winters, Travis Hammer, Lauren Gaw, Annalisa Cochrane, Alexandra Paul, and Jamie Luner. It is written and directed by Christine Conradt.
The Bride He Bought Online premieres Saturday, July 18th on Lifetime!