Bewitched Housewives (Review)

Posted on May 6, 2009 by Tars Tarkas

Bewitched Housewives

2007
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)

Bewitched Housewives is a take off of Bewitched except as a softcore flick. As a Bewitched movie came out around the same time, that may have been the inspiration for the script getting made. This is not the only Retromedia take off of old TV shows as erotic entertainment, Erotic Genie being another example. I would rather these old shows get made as parody softcore flicks instead of terrible big budget films that bomb at the box office.

The TV series Bewitched actually spawned three Turkish movies, one of which was Tatli Cadi (The Sweet Sorceress), and it was followed by the sequel Tatli Cadi’nin Maceralari (The Adventures of the Sweet Sorceress). Minik Cadi (The Cute Witch) turned the main star into a little girl and went cute, in contrast to the Sweet Sorceress films which tended to emphasize women in skimpy clothes. I am sure we are all familiar with the remake with Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman, so let’s leave well enough alone.

As we’ve done a whole bunch of these Fred Olen Ray bikini films, I’ll just list them all here instead of over and over again in the Roll Call: Super Ninja Doll, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes, Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Voodoo Dollz: Lust Potion #9, and Bikini Airways. Yes, more will be on here soon!

	Mary Corwin (Beverly Lynne) – A fan of big, throbbing vegatables, Mary Corwin is whisked away from certain death at the hands of witch hunters to modern day LA where she has a husband, friends, and corporate espionage intrigue… Beverly Lynne is a pretty big star in these Skinimax softcore films, but those of you who got here by Googling her name already know that.
	Angelique (Nicole Sheridan) – Angelique is a member of the Sisterhood of Witches and spends her time rescuing persecuted witches back in time and taking them to modern times. Nicole Sheridan is in almost every Bikini movie made this decade, also stars in adult films, and runs her own website. Plus she’s married to Voodoo. Check out her wonderfully titled films If the Balls Fit, Suck ‘Em!, The Adventures of O-Girl Trapped in Time, and Eruptions: Pink’s My Favorite Color.
	Derek Simmons (Brad Bartram) – Ad agency man who becomes the set up husband for rescued witch Mary Corwin. Brad Bartram has a large contingent of fans of the search engine referrals are to be believed.
	Barry (Voodoo as Alexandre Boisvert) – Barry is Derek’s coworker, and is jealous because Derek comes up with all the cool ideas. Martin’s plan is to steal Derek’s latest idea, which would have worked had Derek bothered to write any of it down (which must make powerpoint presentations interesting!) Barry is played by Alexandre Boisvert, who continues his policy of making goofy faces and being hilarious.
	Linda (Rebecca Love) – Barry’s girl and his point woman for Operation Steal Derek’s Ideas. Spends most of her time rummaging though underwear drawers and having sex with Derek to cover her tracks. Adult actress Rebecca Love is also featured in the finely titled films Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre, When Things Get Rough She Gets Filthy, and Itty Bitty Cheerleaders vs. the Big Boob Squad 2.
	Martin (Evan Stone) – Martin is Angelique’s wife, and is one of the few roles where Evan Stone plays a more subdued, normal guy. He can’t always be in elevator shoes with goggles and giant gloves and named Kronkor.
	Brother Hopkins (Ted Newsom) – A Witch Hunter who tracks down those who would dare use magic, even though one of his tools looks to be magic. Not adverse to traveling to the future to track down his prey. Occasionally yields to temptation.
	Mr. Beatty (Don Donaldson) – Derek’s boss at the ad agency. Don Donaldson is barely in this movie, but has larger roles in a few of the other films.
	Jailer (Eric Spudic) – The Jailer shows up at the end to assign Brother Hopkins (now Sister Hopkins) his (her) fate. Eric Spudic was also in The Ghost in the Teeny Bikini. If you are in Van Nuys, visit Spudic’s Movie Empire!

Continue reading →

Voodoo Dollz: Lust Potion #9 (Review)

Posted on January 22, 2009 by Tars Tarkas

Voodoo Dollz: Lust Potion #9

2008
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)

Voodoo Dollz is a satirization of those awful movies where girls go to private school and there are secret witches and devil worshiping going on. Many of these films are from the 1970’s, thus have slow pacing, awful cameras, and look like everyone is high on Mary Jane. Thankfully, most of the boring stuff is dropped from this entry, and we get an erotic parody done up Fred Olen Ray style! Many of the familiar females make an appearance, and we get one, lone male entry – Alexandre Boisvert, aka Voodoo, thus giving us the title Voodoo Dollz. There is no Evan Stone, Bart Batram, Ted Newsom, or Jay Richardson. But the many many women means lots of lesbian encounters!

The movie has recently came out on DVD, but as I am poor I had to dub this off of the free cable that comes with renting. I bet you can’t figure out which channel it was on! Stupid logos. Is there even any action in this (of the non-sex kind?) Maybe three seconds of tossing candles. At least these films captured directly off of cable look better than the older screen captures from the SciFi Channel films I taped on vhs and then tried to screencap.

	Christina (Christine Nguyen) – Her parents work overseas so thats why they don’t see her much, it isn’t because they don’t love her… Christina likes horses (a lot), tight pants, long walks on the beach, and laughing. Christine Nguyen was seen here in Super Ninja Doll, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, and Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle.
	Maria (Charlie Laine) – Student at the Dunwich School for Girls, ends up becoming Christina’s roommate after her previous roommate disappeared in the middle of the night. In love with the handyman Jeff, but her plans to run away with him are stymied due to her involvement in an evil cult. Adult actress Charlie Laine is a newcomer to Fred Olen Ray movies, debuting here and in Bikini Royale. She Charlie Laine in such fine films as Decline of Western Civilization Part 69: The Porno Years (I was unaware those documentaries were that far along in the series!), The Boobs of Hazzard 2, and Hogtied Victims of Evil Minds.
	Jilly (Beverly Lynne) – Student at the Dunwich School for Girls, roommate of Sandra and enjoys taunting Maria about how they all share Jeff. Almost jumps to the wrong conclusion. Beverly Lynne is a star of many late night films like these, including Super Ninja Doll.
	Sandra (Nicole Sheridan) – Another student at the Dunwich School for Girls, joins in on sharing Jeff. Maria is not too fond of her. Nicole Sheridan is a veteran of late night films like these, appearing here in Super Ninja Doll, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes, and Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle.
	Miss Santana (Syren) – Assistant at the Dunwich School for Girls, looking over the day to day activities for her boss Miss Dambahla. I am guessing she is named after Tura Santana, but who knows. Syren has graced this site in films many times, including Super Ninja Doll, Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, and Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet.
	Miss Dambahla (Monique Parent) – Headmistress of the Dunwich School for Girls and loyal follower of Pakumba. I spent the first time I watched this thinking her name was “Dumbella”. Oddly enough, I saw Monique Parent in a completely unrelated film the day before I saw this one. Isn’t that exciting? Eventually, that one will be up here as well, but I shall keep its name secret. She played a villain there as well.
	Jeff (Voodoo as Alexandre Boisvert) – Voodoo not only inspires the name to this film, but appears in many other Fred Olen Ray Bikini films, including Super Ninja Doll, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes, Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle, and Ghost in a Teeny Bikini.
	Miss Anton (Michelle Bauer) – Headmistress of Collinsport School for Girls, and disapprover of schoolgirl lesbian antics. Michelle Bauer is a B-movie Queen who has been in films such as Vampire Vixens from Venus, The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers in her over 100 film appearances.
	Meg (Kitty Jung as Kitty Katzu) – Classmate of Christina’s at Collinsport School for Girls, and a big fan of lesbians. Kitty Jung was also in Super Ninja Doll.
	Pakumba (himself) – He is Jabootu‘s nephew and a lover of women. Too bad for him he isn’t treated with fire-resistant chemicals. It is illegal to worship Pakumba in the Netherlands.

Hey, man…there is a voodoo doll in the opening credits! I get it! Continue reading →

Super Ninja Doll (Review)

Posted on September 16, 2008 by Tars Tarkas

Super Ninja Doll

aka Super Ninja Bikini Babes

2007
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)

Super Ninja Doll premiered on cable TV under the title Super Ninja Bikini Babes, but we will be calling it Super Ninja Doll because that is the title that we first were introduced to it as on the Retromedia message board. Director Fred Olen Ray has crafted a mix of cult movie/Japanese comics with softcore elements, resulting in a great film that is both entertaining and memorable. Fred Olen Ray shoots these films several at a time, oftentimes reusing the same sets and actors. (Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle is one of the others shot with this one.) The problem with a lot of softcore fare is it blends together an becomes unmemorable. Stuff you catch late at night on Skinimax or Showtime, then forget about as the next night something completely different is on. These types of softcore movies have been given the name Erotic Parodies, which fits as they have names like The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I., The Erotic Dreams of Jeannie, and Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes. As Super Ninja Doll is not yet on DVD (as of when I wrote this), the screen captures are taken from a TV broadcast (thus the alternate title screen), but they look better than our previous TV captures because the screenshots weren’t taken off of a VHS tape of the movie.

The artwork for the Super Ninja Doll comic was done by Noel Anderson. There is an actual Retromedia Comics Group, which is making a Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers comic book!

	Eriko (Christine Nguyen) – A comic book fan, a big comic book fan. Gets lost in the exciting worlds of the comics she reads. Enrolled in college. Enlisted to have the powers of Super Ninja Doll! Christine Nguyen is a former Playboy Cyber Girl and has a long modeling resume.
	Super Ninja Doll (Christine Nguyen) – Super Ninja Doll fights against the evil Tantella and Gorath, as well as having sex because that’s how you get power in the Super Ninja Doll universe. Can fly, shoot energy, and shrink baddies.
	Tantella (Nicole Sheridan) – The evil Tantella plots to invade the Earth because she is evil and that’s what evil people do. Nicole Sheridan is the first of many adult entertainment stars that will be making appearances here.
	Gorath (Evan Stone) – The vile Gorath is powerful, but gets more powerful after sex. Kidnaps the great minds of Earth to foster an invasion, but runs afoul of Super Ninja Doll. Evan Stone really gets into the part, muttering “Gorath” and other things, you can tell he is having a blast. Stone is another adult entertainment actor and is hilarious.
	Marsha Applebee (Beverly Lynne) – A nuclear marine physicist and tuna expert. You wouldn’t be asking how they are connected if you knew the terrible secret of nuclear tuna! Amazingly young for being such a big expert…
	Jim (Voodoo) – Marsha’s sarcastic boyfriend, and setter up of menege a trois. Voodoo is yet another actor in adult films and has starred in numerous Fred Olan Ray films.
	Megan Rhodes (Syren) – Is said to be in the sexual research department in a newspaper article, but called a rocket scientist in spoken script, therefore she must do both like Marsha. Her mind was blanked from amnesia and she gets captured by Gorath. Syren is the final adult star in the Roll Call, but more will appear throughout the film in the synopsis…