Yes there is an Asylum Hercules!


[adrotate banner=”1″]Everyone else is doing Hercules, so why not Asylum? Theirs is called Hercules Reborn, featuring an aged Hercules returning from banishment to be a hero again. It’s called keeping yourself busy while in retirement!

When a young man’s bride is kidnapped by an evil king, he turns to Hercules for help. The fallen hero has been living in exile, banished for killing his family, but the young man’s courage inspires Hercules. Together, they fight to rescue the bride and reclaim Hercules’ honor.

Hercules is played by WWE’s Johnny Nitro himself, John Morrison. Costarring Christian Oliver, James Duval, Christina Ulfsparre, and Dylan Vox. Hercules Reborn director Nick Lyon has helmed Bermuda Tentacles, 4Closed, Species 4, and Grendel. Writer Jim Hemphill has written and directed two prior films, including the horror film Bad Reputation. I’m not sure which Jose Montesinos is the cowriter, but I think it’s this one.

Hercules Reborn officially releases July 8th. It certainly won’t be the worst Hercules movie of the year!

via Asylum
Hercules Reborn Asylum

Asylum gives us the all-female action flick we demand with Mercenaries!

[adrotate banner=”1″]Who has time to wait around for Hollywood to make a terrible all-female version of The Expendables (called The Expendabelles and featuring a plot where they all become hookers for some reason…) when Asylum can just go ahead and do it, and make it a women in prison film at the same time? Yes, a double-decker mockbuster called Mercenaries that takes on The Expendables 3 and Orange is the New Black season 2 (which I am on a break from binge-watching to write this up) It’s also a big middle finger to Hollywood suits who can’t be bothered to have women star in their action films.

What we get in Mercenaries is a dream team of B-movie action actresses – Zoe Bell(Raze), Vivica A. Fox(Kill Bill), Kristanna Loken(BloodRayne), Brigitte Nielsen(Red Sonja), Cynthia Rothrock(Undefeatable), and Nicole Bilderback (Bring it On). It co-stars Tim Abell, Alexis Raich, Alyma Dorsey, and Alicia Vigil.

Christopher Ray directs, from a script by Edward DeRuiter (who wrote 2-Headed Shark Attack). It was originally called Prison Raid, but got a name change like many Asylum productions.

A diplomatic official is captured and imprisoned while touring a war zone, so a team of elite female commandoes is assembled to infiltrate a women’s prison for a daring rescue.

According to the Asylum site, the street date is August 5, 2014, but no word on if this is on DVD, streaming, exclusive to one outlet before others, or what. So keep an eye out for people talking about this film eventually. If a trailer ever surfaces, I’ll post that (once again, Google is failing me!), and if I can get a copy eventually, I’ll weigh in my thoughts as well. The world will stand by, holding its breath, because we all know that TarsTarkas.NET is the word when it comes to female commando movies that take place in women’s prison.

via Asylum

Mercenaries Asylum

Asian School Girls (Review)

Asian School Girls

Asian School Girls
2014
Written by Tim Culley
Directed by Lawrence Silverstein

Asian School Girls
Four girls are drugged and raped, then set out for revenge in Asylum’s Asian School Girls. Asylum has been becoming a big source of exploitation film that has a more rougher tone. Their film Jailbait was a dark women in prison film complete with all sorts of abuses against the main character. Asian School Girls falls in the rape and revenge category, a genre I don’t watch nor write about that often anymore. Partially because my taste generally runs towards more fun films, and partially because of the of the disturbing things that come with those films. Some of the films seem made by people who are far more interested in the rape part than the revenge part. Luckily, Asian School Girls only dwells slightly with the rape and spends most of the film following the girls as they get revenge. Of course, things don’t go smoothly, and soon bodies are piling up all over, women are caged, and things turn into a bloody mess.

What we do get is some violent fun, with many awful people meeting deserved violent ends. And, yes, if you are a fan of dudes getting stabbed in the junk, you will be happy. A danger in a film like this is it becoming too exploitative, resting its allure to the stars being Asian, there isn’t much of that at all. You could switch them out with four ladies of any race and you’d only have to change the title and like one or two lines. If anything, these women are less like the stereotypical Asian girls, they don’t act submissive and surrender, they fight back and conquer.
Asian School Girls
Asian School Girls‘s weakest link is also its strongest section. The actresses who play the lead girls are relatively new, and the rapid pace of filming on a low-budget film doesn’t accommodate a lot of second takes. So occasionally line reads are a bit wonky. I know Minnie Scarlet was a last minute replacement who originally turned down a role, but she helps bring some energy the the group. Sam Aotaki plays a more laid back character, which makes her spurts of violence and profanity more clashing. Poor Catherine Hyein Kim’s character May gets the short end of the stick development-wise, with the other girls taking up most of the slots, but she does the best with what she’s got. Belle Hensathorn puts in a nice performance as the sheltered Suzy, torn between fun and very strict parents.

The girls will occasionally start bickering with each other as events unfold. This is actually sort of realistic because in extreme situations people will start freaking out and arguing, as some people can handle things better than others. Especially when there are different goals and ideas in mind. Despite their differences, the girls work together when the chips are down and make a good team. The arguing is occasionally tripped up by lines that sound like they look much better written than said aloud.
Asian School Girls

Hannah Takahashi (Sam Aotaki) – Hannah is the default leader in that she’s the more level-headed and reserved. That comes as a disadvantage as she’s not successfully drugged like the other girls were, but it allows her to see the people who did stuff to them. Hannah’s dad is a defense lawyer and says they won’t be believed, as no one believed her when she was molested as a child. The inability of the cops to do anything adds to her hostility towards the police.
Vivian Nguyen (Minnie Scarlet) – Vivian is the resident hacker superstar who is also a wild child. She helps plan their revenge, including knowing how to get access to weapons and how to raise the money needed to procure them. She is eager to slice guys in the junk.
May Lee (Catherine Hyein Kim) – May is the most well-rounded of the three main ladies. She also has the worst luck, but is the most into the workout scenes and is also eager to slice guys in the junk.
Suzy (Belle Hengsathorn) – Suzy is the shy virgin with super-strict parents, and that’s a recipe for a bad end. Her parents go conservative nuclear after she’s raped, and did I mention bad end? Because, bad end.

Asian School Girls
Continue reading

Sharknado 2 teaser trailer!


[adrotate banner=”1″]Because why not?

Sharknado 2: The Second One – Wednesday, July 30 at 9PM – In Sharknado 2: The Second One, the sequel to last summer’s global pop culture sensation, a freak weather system turns its deadly fury on New York City, unleashing a Sharknado on the population and its most cherished iconic sites – and only Fin (Ian Ziering) and April (Tara Reid) can save the Big Apple. The movie, directed by Anthony C. Ferrante from a screenplay by Thunder Levin, also stars Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Vivica A. Fox and Judah Friedlander, with cameo appearances including Kelly Osbourne, Judd Hirsch, Perez Hilton, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Andy Dick, Robert Klein, Sandra “Pepa” Denton, Biz Markie, Downtown Julie Brown, Richard Kind and Kurt Angle, among others. Sharknado 2: The Second One is a production of The Asylum.

Yes, we’ll be watching.

Sharknado 2 poster

Sharknado Week on SyFy!

Sharktopus

Coming at you 7 tentacles a week!


[adrotate banner=”1″]As summer begins to heat up (puns like this are why they pay me the big bucks!), SyFy is breaking out the original films again, now accompanied by lots of marketing gimmicks for maximum saturation of targeted audience age ranges. On that note, the Sharknado rocket blasts off again with the announced Sharknado Week, which will feature not only Sharknado 2, but the first of the new Sharktopus sequels, and the SyFy premiere of Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark! The full PR release is below, complete with all the information you need to make Sharknado Week on SyFy the best Sharknado Week ever! Don’t forget that the RiffTrax crew are doing their special event on Sharknado on July 10th!

HIGHLIGHTS OF SYFY’S SHARKNADO WEEK (ALL TIMES ET/PT)

Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark – Saturday, July 26 at 9PM – When the U.S. government creates an exact robotic copy of the original mega shark, this new mecha shark runs wild – with only the original mega shark standing in the way of global destruction. A production of The Asylum, the movie stars Christopher Judge (Stargate SG1) and Elisabeth Rohm (American Hustle). TV movie.

Sharkmania: The Top 15 Biggest Baddest Bloodiest Bites – Premieres Sunday, July 27 at 9PM – This original documentary special takes a light-hearted look back at the 15 best shark movie bites of all time. Comedians, actors and celebrities including Ian Ziering, Brooke Hogan, Richard Moll, Downtown Julie Brown and Mark McGrath discuss their favorite scenes – fun, ridiculous and frightening – from classic shark movies such as Jaws to the outrageous Sharktopus and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. A production of Associated Television International. Executive producer: Jim Romanovich. Producers: Dan Goldman, David Stephan. Consulting producer: Robert Corsini.

Sharknado 2: The Second One – Wednesday, July 30 at 9PM – In Sharknado 2: The Second One, the sequel to last summer’s global pop culture sensation, a freak weather system turns its deadly fury on New York City, unleashing a Sharknado on the population and its most cherished iconic sites – and only Fin (Ian Ziering) and April (Tara Reid) can save the Big Apple. The movie, directed by Anthony C. Ferrante from a screenplay by Thunder Levin, also stars Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Vivica A. Fox and Judah Friedlander, with cameo appearances including Kelly Osbourne, Judd Hirsch, Perez Hilton, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Andy Dick, Robert Klein, Sandra “Pepa” Denton, Biz Markie, Downtown Julie Brown, Richard Kind and Kurt Angle, among others. Sharknado 2: The Second One is a production of The Asylum.

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda – Sunday, August 2 at 9PM – In this new Roger Corman movie, the child of Sharktopus goes toe-to-toe with the latest science experiment “Pteracuda” – half Pteradactyl, half Barracuda – in a battle for monster supremacy. A production of New Horizons Pictures, the movie stars Robert Carradine (Django Unchained) and Katie Savoy (Living with Models).

Via Deadline

Asylum takes us to the Age of Tomorrow!

[adrotate banner=”1″]When it comes to busting mocks, Asylum is there, because we all know that busting makes you feel good! Now the sights are set on The Edge of Tomorrow with Age of Tomorrow! Despite the similar title and the plot involving an alien invasion, the films are distinct beasts, with Asylum’s being more of a conspiracy theory mystery alien invasion film.

When the sun strikes an altar hidden within the ancient Pyramid of the Sun in Mexico, it creates a beacon that triggers an alien blitzkrieg. Within hours, their ships destroy all the military infrastructure on earth. One anthropologist knows how to repel the invaders, but this secret is buried under the ruins of the Pyramid of the Moon–directly underneath the mothership.

Kelly Hu and Robert Picardo star, along with Matt Mercer and Laura Alexandra Ramos. No trailer has shown up online yet, despite the film’s June 10th release date. We’ll keep you up to date, assuming things look interesting. At the very least, Robert Picardo is always awesome, and there should be shots of alien fleets blowing things up.

Airplane vs Volcano codirector James Kondelik is in the director’s chair, and the writers are Jacob Cooney and Bill Hanstock (both from Apocalypse Pompeii)

If you are unsure about going to an Age of Tomorrow, then you can just visit the World of Tomorrow, which is an alternate title for some overseas markets.

Via Asylum
Age of Tomorrow