Let’s have Very Strong Opinons on the new Star Wars cast!

star wars 7 cast

Which one plays Lumpy???


[adrotate banner=”1″]GRRR! The cast of the new Star Wars film has been announced:

Actors John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, and Max von Sydow will join the original stars of the saga, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, and Kenny Baker in the new film.

Which means it’s time to write a bajillion “thinkpieces” about how this cast is great and I’ve totally heard of all these actors, especially the ones who haven’t been in anything, but also the cast sucks donkey balls because it’s not the dream team or diverse cast I wanted. Where’s my American Indian Jedi at?

Now, I’m not saying there aren’t a few immediate problems with this cast. There’s only one female listed in the new crew, and one black guy. But the most important thing is we know nothing about who they are playing or the plot, so all these new people could just be cameo roles in favor of the old school crew, they could be the new stars who the film will lean heavily on, or they could be the younger versions of characters different actors will play later. Anyone could be the villain (Driver was long rumored) or villains, Serkis is probably a whole pack of weird CGI things, and someone might even be gay! (but probably not…)

Still, it would be cool to have two ladies and not just Daisy Ridley. It would be cool to have two black guys and not just John Boyega (where the heck is Lando???) It would be cool if this film was already made so we could be spared two years of articles that make this article look like a shining example of genius. Let the plot rumors and angry nerd screeds swirl around, I’ll be dodging them with my Jedi skills and wait for either something official, or something from the few people who give accurate spoilers despite Abrams’ mystery box.

It does stand to reason that either Boyega or Ridley will be the main stars among the younger crew (their names are listed first for some reason…) Which means the leads of a big budget blockbuster will either be a black guy who isn’t Will Smith (or his kid) or a woman. Or both. Sadly, that’s better than a huge chunk of blockbuster films.

As regular readers of TarsTarkas.NET know, we don’t jump into the casting rumor hype game that often. Partially because for many films there is a new rumor every day (that’s then debunked within hours), and partially because if I’m going to fish for pageviews, I’d like to write about what I want to write about, and not chase the latest pre-debunked rumor that Johnny Depp is rumored to play Jabba’s Butt in Star Wars 9. Which he would be terrible at! But we’re making an exception here because it’s Star Wars and I like doing sort of meta-topics that turn out to be less meta than I hoped when they’re all done. It’s either that, or join the new cottage industry of writing articles about just who in the heck Daisy Ridley is!

So that’s it for now, stay tuned for the next time a major news event happens when I have free time during lunch and can write a bit! If you have some Very Strong Opinions, feel free to share them below, that’s what the internet is for!

Also Lawrence Kasdan is in that photo, which is awesome.

via Star Wars

The Lego Movie (Review)

The Lego Movie

Lego Movie
2014
Story by Dan Hageman & Kevin Hageman and Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
Screenplay by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller

Lego Movie
The Lego Movie constantly refrains the song “Everything is Awesome!” throughout the film, and though the song is presented as a joke because things aren’t awesome, it best describes The Lego Movie. Because everything is awesome. Phil Lord and Christopher Miller took a toy commercial and traditional hero’s journey narrative and turned it into a celebration of tossing out instructions and a collectivist uniting against conformity and conservatism. Also it’s fun and hilarious.

The unlikely group of heroes unite against President Business, who controls the entire world and wants things to stay just the way they are. He gets incensed when things are built that don’t follow the rules or are weird. His reign has seen the Lego city become a virtual police state where everyone follows a huge list of rules and destroys anything out of the ordinary to be replaced with construction that follows the rules. The people are lulled into accepting their reality with glee, thanks to control of television and music, where every show is Where’s My Pants? and every song is the aforementioned “Everything is Awesome!”
Lego Movie
The resistance becomes a celebration of individuality vs marching to the same drum beat. The Lego Movie encourages you to build what you want, and not worry about if your projects conflict with what someone expects you to do. While President Business seeks his stagnant perfection, the real progress and fun comes from the chaos of creation.
Lego Movie

Emmet Brickowoski (Chris Pratt) – Emmet is the most average man who ever averaged, and even when he follows all the rules (and there are a lot of rules), no one seems to remember him much at all. But things change when suddenly the Piece of Resistance is stuck to his back, and it looks like he has a prophesy to fulfill. If he can just be interesting!
Wyldstyle (Elizabeth Banks) – A Master Builder who searches for the Piece of Resistance and finds it on Emmet. She mistakenly thinks he’s much more powerful than he actually is. But despite her disappointment, she becomes part of the inspiration for Emmet to rise up beyond his lot in life. Is dating Batman.
Vitruvius (Morgan Freeman) – Wise sage who prophesies the downfall of Lord Business and the Piece of Resistance. He’s blinded, and later begins training Emmet, though there is little time for actual training. Has trouble telling Gandalf and Dumbledore apart.
Batman (Will Arnett) – The best movie Batman since Adam West. The caped crusader joins the mission to save the universe because he’s Batman and that’s what Batman does. He’s dark. Also he’s dating Wyldstyle, in between making his music. FYI, people in the audience cheered when Batman showed up.
Lord/President Business (Will Ferrell) – Lord Business is President of the Lego city and controls all aspects of it, in a creepy Big Brother way. He’s also a super villain, who has stolen an artifact that he plans to use to end the world (which involves freezing it in place.) That is, unless he’s stopped by The Piece of Resistance!

Lego Movie
Minor spoilers below the fold!
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Star Wars Holiday Special (Review)

Star Wars Holiday Special


1978
Starring
Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker
Harrison Ford as Han Solo
Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia Organa
Anthony Daniels as C-3PO
Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca
James Earl Jones as Darth Vader

Not a movie, but easily the most bootlegged video in the galaxy, and also easily makes Episode I look like Citizen Kane. Heck, it makes Turkish Star Wars look like Citizen Kane! No small feat, to say the least. This relic from the seventies is ripe with long, trippy musical sequences that would bore any child into submission. The regulars from Star Wars act as though they were carved from floorboards minutes before the cameras started rolling, a few of who are also full of more drugs than East Hollywood. Guest stars litter the special, some annoying (Art Carney) and some terrifying (Harvey Korman) and Bea Arthur, who should have known better. The holiday we are celebrating is “Life Day” and is a Wookiee holiday, the plot of the special involves getting Chewbacca home in time to see his family. Would our only exposure to Star Wars be this project, we would all be cheering for the Emperor to execute all the rebels and display their heads on the hood of his private shuttle. This is bad. Real bad. Mean bad. Watching this is a war. Not a Star War, a Nuclear War, and the Fallout and Waste is what is left of your brain at the end.


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