Chanbara Striptease (Review)

Chanbara Striptease

aka Oppai Chanbara

Directed by Akira Hirose

Chanbara Striptease came out to capitalize on the Chanbara Beauty films, it even has the same font on the poster to further cement the relationship it is exploiting, even if the actual film has nothing to do with the Chanbara Beauty films. But that applies to Japan, while here in America few people have even heard of Chanbara Beauty films, though probably more know about the games than the films. As Chanbara Striptease was originally released in Japan as Oppai Chanbara (Oppai is Japanese for “Breast), that meant this film was originally called Breast Chanbara. Oddly enough, they thought that direct translation title wouldn’t do well here. Americans must be too dumb, they need to know that the Breasts will be naked! Keep in mind it wasn’t the Japanese production company coming up with this brilliant marketing, this was Americans. Thus, Chanbara Striptease. The American DVD release has the tagline “Blades, Babes, & Boobs…” which is accurate, except we don’t get enough of any of them. But I’m just a man who always demands more.

Despite the cheap origins, the films does make a few feeble attempts to be more than what it is. Lili’s character has to cope with the fact she’s taken life and will have to take more to make things right. She has trouble adjusting despite her years of training to prepare her for using the Sayama Hashinryu, the deadly killing martial art passed down only by women. We also get smatterings of honor, noble sacrifice, and morality tales. But eventually it must all take a backseat to half-naked chicks swinging swords around with awkward abandon. Come on, Japan, can’t you give your AV stars years of training in swordplay choreography? I thought you were cool

Lili (Ryo Akanishi) – Lili is just your average modern ninja girl sent back in time while being initiated into the martial art of Sayama Hashinryu. Her martial arts skills allow her glowing breasts to give her vast powers to defeat the evil Yamishika gang and save the Iida village. and also to get it on with dudes from 300 years ago. Ryo Akanishi is an AV star who has made more porn by 9am than you will ever watch.
Hikoichi (Yoichi Matsuda) – Villager of Iida village back in the past and brother of Yae. Lili likes him, but as Hikoichi has never been with a woman he is constantly spazzing out.
Lady Okinu (Lulu Anoa-aka Ruru Anoa) – Evil female head of the Yamishika gang, spends most of the film standing around taunting people while holding a pipe. Do you wanna get pipe-taunted? You might think you do but you really don’t. Lulu Anoa is an AV star who you can easily find disturbing images of on Google.
Yae (Sasa Handa) – Pregnant resident of Iida village and Hikoichi’s sister. Her husband Tosuke is constantly yelling and over-exaggerating everything he says and does. So when you have several AV stars in your movie, why would you make one pregnant the entire time and thus unable to run around in the buff? It doesn’t make much sense. When Sasa Handa isn’t starring in an amazing number of adult films, she shows up in genre fare like Kekko Kamen Royale and The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers.
Grandma (???) – Grandma teaches Lili all about the martial art Sayama Hashinryu.

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