The 33D Invader (Review)
The 33D Invader
aka The Fruit Is Ripe 33D aka 蜜桃成熟時33D aka Mi Tao Cheng Shu Shi 33D
2011
Directed by Cash Chin Man-Kei
33D Invader is like a 1990s Hong Kong Cat III comedy time traveled to 2011 and unleashed itself on the public. And because time travel plays a part in the plot of 33D Invader, perhaps that was the subtle message they were going for. The male characters are direct out of an 80s American sex film. We have the Nice Guy (Lawrence), the Nerd (Danson), the Fat Guy (Stephen), and the Other Guy who has no real personality but is there to fill out the group (Felix). The female characters range from blank slate to blank slate to blank slate with slightly bigger boobs. And though we’re given a quick introduction to them, it is hard to remember which one is loose and which one is a virgin when they’re all running around naked. Only Future and Jeana get any sort of personality, even Xucker No. 2 is nothing but a generic villain.
Granted, the audience isn’t people who care about the plot, it is people who care about seeing naked girls be naked.
It is hard to determine exactly what is going on, because 33D Invader is all over the map. Every sex scene is completely different in tone, from the sensual and erotic, to the rough and filthy, to the rape rape rape, to the gross, to the woman on woman, to the man drugged for sex by a woman, to the guy is so gross you want to hit fast-forward.
33D Invader was originally called The Fruit Is Ripe 33D, betraying its namesake origins as the next The Fruit is Ripe film. Like almost all of the prior films, it has nothing to do with any of the others and was given a namechange makeover. The first film was 1993’s Crazy Love, which featured Loletta Lee being naked. 1997 gave us the second film in the series, which was given the English title The Fruit Is Swelling. It featured Jane Chung Chun as a character named Peach who was given the Big treatment and grew up overnight in a universe where everyone seems to have sex at the drop of the hat. By 1999, they just literally translated the Chinese title of the next sequel, and thus we had The Fruit is Ripe 3, which was confusing for people like me who saw that at the video store (while renting everything in the Hong Kong section) and wondered where the other two parts were, not knowing that I’d already seen them (as there was little information available on Hong Kong film at this point.) The third film features actress Jay Fong Ching as an angel named Peach who has come to Earth to help some loser with his love life, and many people are naked.
The 33D part of The 33D Invader is the lost promise of it being in 3D like 3D Sex and Zen, which at the time of announcement was pouring in the dough. But when The 33D Invader showed up in theaters, it was as flat as a pancake. Coincidentally, some of the actresses…
But let’s hit the cast, and then dive into the plot!
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The Fruit is Ripe 33D
UPDATE: Click here for a FULL REVIEW of 33D Invader!
The Fruit is Ripe 33D – 蜜桃成熟时33D – is the first of the parade of 3D category III films that will hit theaters in the wake of 3D Sex and Zen. (Category IIID?) If the title sound vaguely familiar, that’s because you’ve probably seen the VCD/DVD/VHS for The Fruit is Ripe 3 at your local video store years ago.
The Fruit is Ripe 33D ramps up the confus-o-vision by having a second title already, The 33D Invader. Lead actress is newcomer Macy Wu Qing-Qing (who also goes by either name), and the other touted female talent is AV Stephy. That’s the Japanese adult actress Akiho Yoshizawa, who vaguely looks like Stephy Tang if you squint, but gets billed as AV Stephy nevertheless. She’s been billed as such since at least 2009, and is not to be confused with the actress in the fake Stephy Tang sex tape, because this story can’t be anything but more and more confusing. 72 Tenants of Prosperity even makes fun of this.
Want to be more confused? Good, because all these The Fruit is Swelling/Ripe sequels are sequels to Crazy Love (which starred Loletta Lee as Loletta Lee – naked!)! Cash Chin Man-Kei knows one thing, and that’s how to make weird films with naked chicks in them. (He even helped direct 3D Sex and Zen!) The Fruit is Ripe 33D’s plot features a magic girl named Peach who goes back in time from 2046 to “find the best seed of mankind”. And I don’t think she means sunflower seeds! 2046 is the most popular year ever in Hong Kong cinema.
Poster:
A rare photo of Akiho Yoshizawa clothed (partially) and not covered in body fluids or dongs:
Macy Wu Qing-Qing pics are hard to find, so here are two:
Categories: Movie News Tags: 3D, Akiho Yoshizawa, AV Stephy, Cash Chin Man-Kei, Macy Wu Qing-Qing, The Fruit is Ripe 33D
Spy Girl's Mission Cord#005
Spy Girl’s Mission Cord#005 (Shin Spy Girl Daisakusen: Wakusei Kara no Shinryakusha) comes out May 17th, and promises naked Japanese chicks, gold-clad super-powered chicks, and spies. Sounds like our kind of film! Written and directed by Eitoku Kawamura.
Plot synopsis:
At Manazuru Peninsula strange UFO sightings are accompanied by killings in which the victims’ corpses are completely mummified. When the proprietor of the nearby Institute of Space and Astronautical Science decides to investigate and promptly disappears the Spy Girls (played by gravure idols Sawa Hashimoto, Megumi Kagurazaka, and Saya Hikita) are called in to get to the bottom of things. They eventually discover the cause of all the trouble, an alien seductress with murderous intentions known only as Gold Lady (Akiho Yoshizawa), and a ridiculously slow-paced battle ensues.
A Not Safe For Work trailer is at Nippon Cinema
Akiho Yoshizawa is a porn star, so understandably she’s the one naked in the clips.
Categories: Movie News Tags: Akiho Yoshizawa, Eitoku Kawamura, Japan, Megumi Kagurazaka, Sawa Hashimoto, Saya Hikita, Spy Girl's Mission Cord#005
