Kinky Kong (Review)
Kinky Kong
2006
Directed by John Bacchus
Seduction Cinema vs. King Kong! It is a softcore King Kong erotic parody that actually does a good job of following the plot of King Kong. It was much more close than I was expecting, which was a great surprise. Seduction Cinema does put out a lot of garbage, but there are many jewels in the rough, and I am happy to report this is one of them. Kinky Kong was filmed after Misty Mundae left to pursue other options, so she won’t be joining us, though other Seduction Cinema regulars are present. John Bacchus and Seduction Cinema have a rich history of ultra-low budget softcore produtions, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the group, you have a lot of catching up to do. Try our reviews of That 70’s Girl, Bikini Girls On Dinosaur Planet, or Vampire Vixens to get acquainted with the production company. Then consult your local library. After you get kicked out of the library, consult your local internet. Just be sure to turn off the safe-search function.
This is not the first erotic King Kong film. Ignoring all those movies where girls just bone normal sized apes (a surprising amount of films, by the way) there are actual King Kong hardcore porns. The most famous is 1985’s King Dong, directed by Yancy Hendrieth and starring Crystal Holland.
Normally the Seduction Cinema sex scenes are incredibly long, to the point where I just list the time instead of mentioning the action. Someone must have set some standards, as now most of the sex scenes are exactly four minutes long. This ruins my time counting gimmick, so I guess I’ll have to go watch some of their older films to go back to that fun. Oh, well. Let me find my DVD of Playmate of the Apes…
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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: AJ Khan, Dan Schwab, Darian Caine, Duane Polcou, John Bacchus, John Fedele, King Kong, mad monkey time, Sabrina Faire, Seduction Cinema, softcore, Tyrannosaurus
Vampire Vixens (Review)
Vampire Vixens
2003
Starring
Mia Copia (Tina Krause) as Dracoola
AJ Khan as Diane Shelton
John Fedele as Wally Van Helsing
Misty Mundae as A Lesbian
Elizabeth Hitchcock
Zack Snygg as Eugene
Directed by John Bacchus
Seduction Cinema pumps out film after film each year, all with the same formula: A loosely defined plot that spoofs a popular film happens haphazardly around half a dozen or so lesbian sex scenes that average seven minutes or so. This film….follows that formula. The second entry into their filmography on our site (That 70’s Girl was the first) complete with the important details: Misty Mundae and AJ Khan. Mainly, Misty Mundae for the name draw, but AJ Khan pulls in the fans of the minor characters like myself. John Bacchus continues his streak of Seduction Cinema films with what is a follow-up to the 1998 film Vampire Seduction. Or so the intro tells us, I’ve never seen the original. Because the film has a plot so simplistic it was probably suggested by a local kindergartener, the film needs all the padding it can get, and if some of that padding is in the bras that quickly drop to the floor off of the supporting cast, so much the better. The two male characters seem to be competing for the title of Nerdiest Nerd, and both would be declared winners. It’s fun in a goofy way to watch them overact so much they travel back in time. Trust me, that comment makes sense when you’ve seen the film. The title villainess is Dracoola, who was from the previous film. She must also exist in plural form, because the movie promises “Vampire Vixens” yet Dracoola is the only Vampire. There are plenty of other vixens, so it is conceivable that one or two of them just happen to be vampires as well, but the subject is never brought up. Therefore, the movie does not deliver on it’s title promise. When I see Transformers, I see Transformers; when I see Crash, I see some crashes (both versions); when I see Robocop, I see someone who is part man, part machine, all cop. Don’t tempt me with false promises.
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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: AJ Khan, Elizabeth Hitchcock, Erin Brown, John Bacchus, John Fedele, Lesbians, Mia Copia, Misty Mundae, Overly long sex scenes, Seduction Cinema, softcore, Tina Krause, Zach Snygg
That 70’s Girl (Review)
That 70’s Girl
2003
Starring
Misty Mundae as Petal
Julian Wells as Ashleigh
Kelli Summers (Suzi Lorraine) as Jennifer
AJ Khan as Mandy
John Link as Househunter
Misty Mundae has become synonymous with soft-core lesbian sex flicks that are spoofs of popular culture. Her and Seduction Cinema seem to pump out five or six a year, probably produced over a period of three days each. This one doesn’t even seem to have taken three hours to make. The pattern of goofy jokes followed by lesbian sex is fine in practice, but several times in this movie the jokes in between last one sentence, to be followed by fifteen minute long sex scenes that are played on quarter speed. The fact that Misty Mundae pumps out five of these a year, many with much better production values, jokes, and scenes of women aardvarking in groups of twos, threes, and eighty-sevens, hurts this film, and the fact it clocks in at under 50 minutes long is another strike. The charm of this film is if you find the hippie lifestyle and That 70s Show attractive enough that you want to see the Skinimax version.
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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: AJ Khan, Erin Brown, John Link, Julian Wells, Kelli Summers, Lesbians, Misty Mundae, Overly long sex scenes, Seduction Cinema, softcore
