Posts tagged "50 Shades of Grey"

50 Shades of Grey trailer whips onto the net!

One of the most anticipated film trailers in recent memory has hit the internet, and it’s a decisive “meh.” Which is a shame, but what are you gonna do? 50 Shades of Grey was destined to get all sorts of shade tossed its way no matter how the trailer looked, because it’s already complete with a pack of haters. From the S&M enthusiasts angry that things don’t match reality to fanfic writers angry because this Twilight fanfic made millions while their S&M ponies story didn’t to people who are immature about the subject of sexuality to teenage boys who sit confused at a movie targeted for 30-something housewives, there is no shortage of people who will be making a fuss.

The trailer even failed to impress the toughest critic of all, my wife! Maybe later trailers will do more, but for now, things look strangely vanilla, Ana Steele comes off as boring, and Christian Grey just seemed creepily attracted for no reason at all. But, then, it is Twilight… I’m just sad my fantasy casting of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson will never happen, because that would have blown everyone’s minds! We’ll just have to see how Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan do once all the moaning and groaning begins.

Despite all this, and despite the trailer failing to impress too much, 50 Shades of Grey is still a film that we’re going to go see opening weekend, because that’s how we do. Also, do you really want to sit in the chairs at the theater after a couple showings of this film? They might be a bit…..sticky!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 24, 2014 at 11:29 am

Categories: Movie News   Tags: , , , ,

Link Duties Unit vs. Hitler

We’re back again with a bunch of links to stories that I didn’t have time to turn into their own posts and also links to cool reviews from around the web. So let’s get busy!

**The Muppets 2 will be released on March 21st 2014.

**Someone uploaded the complete 166 page screenplay for Django Unchained as a .pdf, if you are curious to see what didn’t make the final cut.

**50 Shades of Grey will be NC-17 according to the film’s writer, Kelly Marcel. This is probably news to everyone else involved with the film, who aren’t about to sink a ton of money into a project that will get an NC-17 rating and kill the box office returns. Or it’s just a publicity stunt. Either way, will not happen.

**Pang Ho-Cheung is following up his hit film Vulgeria by producing a sex comedy called SDU: Sex Duties Unit. He’s also slated to direct Women Who Know How to Flirt Are the Luckiest.
SDU Sex Duties Unit

**The Hebrew Hammer is getting a sequel! In The Hebrew Hammer vs. Hitler, Mordechai Jefferson Carver comes out of retirement and teams up with Jesus to go back in time to fight Hitler. Hell yeah!

**The nephew of George Soros (yes, that George Soros) is named Jeffrey Soros, who leads the board of directors for Los Angeles’s Museum of Contemporary Art and is making his first feature film, Basmati Blues. Basmati Blues will be shot entirely in India and stars Brie Larson (21 Jump Street.) They are currently looking for a male lead who is Indian (which is shocking and awesome at the same time!)

**Ninja Dixon observes Santo and the Vengeance of the Mummy!

**Pulp Curry talking about Night Moves!

**Cinematic Catharsis gets down with Funky Forest: The First Contact!

**Pre-Code takes the Cimarron challenge!

**HBO signs ten year deal with Universal, tells Netflix to shove it!

**Who wants an All Quiet on the Western Front remake/new adaptation starring Daniel Radcliffe? Because that’s what we’re getting.

**I hope you want another Ben-Hur, because that’s what we’re getting. Remember, the Heston version is also a remake/new adaptation.

**Fake but awesome “evidence” of Russian animal experimentation.

Until next time, remember to eat your ice cream!
Uranium Ice Cream

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 15, 2013 at 11:41 am

Categories: Movie News   Tags: , , , , , , , ,