Resistnet Reacts Racistly! Live chat logs from the eve of Healthcare Reform

[adrotate banner=”3″]March 21st, 2010 was a historic evening. With the passage of the Healthcare Reform bills America has now entered the First World in terms of providing the most basic of human care to all its citizens (yes just the legal citizens you dopes) and hopefully this historic occasion could also mark the point at which the mass media and those ever so entertaining (read: complaining) Tea Party Patriots, Birthers, Deathers, Uppers, and Downers will finally have something else to laser focus their hate, disdain, and guns towards.

Because of the significance of the evening I decided to skip a really awesome concert and the chance to go out for dinner so I could watch the live Senate debate on CSPAN. I also decided it would be appropriate to spend some time with the one community I’ve embedded with for so long, struggling through this whole debate with. Along with their crazy forums, Resistnet.com also has an equally crazy live chat room where Tea Partiers and like minded individuals can gather to talk and pray and reassure each other that the Communist menace will be beaten back in the good name of the lawd. Below are the best moments from last night’s chat in an edited format (for transparency’s sake I will also provide the unedited logs, but honestly you don’t even need to assume I altered the crazy in these peoples’ words, you really can’t make this stuff up).

Oh also, when I say “best” moments I mean the moments when the Resistnet folks were at their personal “best”, which is to say the words I read last night indicate that the Resistnet community, no matter how their spokespeople paint them, are a bunch of racist, violent, gun-toting, zealously Christian, proud rednecks who would like nothing more than to see our government figured murdered, assassinated, hung, drawn and quartered, simply because they lost their shouting match that’s taken place over the past year and 2 months. I had wished last night would be the culmination and the end of such things, but to be honest I believe that, in the words of the Resisters, “things are only getting started”:

Yay! Sniper assassination party!

Dr. James Lawrenzi speaks for himself

See it’s ok to talk about picking up your gun and killing people because it’s relaxing to some of the Resistnet community

Yup you sure do Dee, but we did see that, we saw all of the crazy that you’re community “supposedly” does not represent.

I thought there wasn’t such a thing as working whites anymore since the latinos move in to town.

How dare those Black and Hispanics go to their own colleges! I’m not racist though, really.

Locked and loaded, with pitchforks (and guns).

If you covered the streets of DC in your blood I’m sure there would be those who would celebrate not having to pay for you in the new Healthcare system.

At this point Rep. John Boehner was giving his passionate remarks about the HC bill, calling to have the senators vote individually so these crazies can identify them and know whose picture to put up on their target ranges.

First they came for my neighbors (who I didn’t like anyway), and I said nothing…

Man even if she was on fire? Nancy Pelosi just can’t catch a break with these people.

Yeah witches are people too (unlike Nancy Pelosi who is some kind of half dog-person, half breakfast pastry)!

So Mellie (who is a big time admin on Resistnet) is welcoming this bill because she won’t be denied coverage for being a woman? Right on sista!

And if you’re happy with your current plans you can keep it!

Yeah, what’s the point of insurance anyw– oh.

It’s all come down to this, the vote has begun.

Too bad old folks will now be transformed into some kind of super immortal race (who will apparently shoot you) with this new Healthcare reform.

The anxiety of the vote got to some people, those would would fantasize about kissing Democrats on the lips (with tongue and everything!)

Oh haha, suddenly that thing I was joking about has become reality for Tana W. Bernard.

The vote is almost at 216 now, most of the Resistnet.com members now admit they’re ready to go to jail for crimes they’re going to commit.

Suddenly the realization that most of these people have wasted the last year of their lives sending faxes to Congress, shouting at politicians, and carrying their guns to protests. Note to self: blame it on Bush.

And finally the watershed moment. The votes have been cast, the bill has passed, now we’re past the point of no return. Time to start “changing” things.

Time to pray to God the politicians die, also time to declare internet silence, mostly due to  the criminal nature of what we want to discuss.

Ok guys and gals, time to get this REVOLUTION STARTED Glenn Beck style!

Yes, F**K talking indeed.

No, we can’t say what we’re really thinking Resistnet administrator Dee because we’re really thinking someone should shoot the president.

What are we all thinking again?

Need new options? Tactics? Winning the War? What ever are they referring to?

Mmmmm KFC.

Tana W. Bernard the lawmakers are going to die soon? Why? It can’t be due to inadequate health coverage can it?

If you turn your protest flag upside down does that mean you’re no longer protesting what the flag represents?

PLANT! EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT AGREE WITH ME IS A PLANT! OBAMA AGENT PLANT!

It’s a slippery slope towards smae sex marriages everyone!

How evil of you!

Linn is too good for a socialist Federal prison.

I think you guys have had this end of times mentality for a while.

Yeah, down with Whitey!

The plants are getting to Moondog6

And on and on and on it goes. At this point in the evening I decided to go outside to smoke a cigarette and eat the rest of the bacon in my house in honor of the historic passage of Healthcare reform. This chat log was long, but long for a reason (there is just so much crazy out there, we need to be aware of it). I’m also sure this is not the end of this kind of rhetoric, nor the end of the Tea Party, Birther, Resistneters or their schemes.

However, no matter how batty, racist, anti-semetic, or violent these people get you can be sure that here at TarsTarkas.net we will be bringing you the raw information you need to know what these people are up to. You can be sure that this is only the beginning of something. It’s sure as hell the beginning of me being able to get affordable and fair healthcare coverage and not get reamed up the ass by insurance companies, but for some others it may as well be the beginning of the end. We can’t say how far any of these people will go to express their outrage against the government but we can only hope that the passing of Healthcare reform will mean a better and healthier life for so many Americans who work hard and deserve to be helped in their darkest hours. Cheers!

EDIT: This is Tars Tarkas with a quick edit, a person claiming to be the real Dr. James Lawrenzi has written us saying the guy on the Resistnet chat is a fake who is stealing his identity. I have no way to verify this fact, but it adds more drama to the mix and I figure it is at least fair to mention it. The other James Lawrenzi claims to be pro-HCR and is very upset.

SECOND EDIT: upon further review, there is no evidence that Dr. James Lawrenzi’s identity was stolen at this time. We are disappointed that there isn’t a vast conspiracy of fake identity trolls on Resistnet.com to expose.

Meet your future occupiers

[adrotate banner=”1″]When the Wingnuts begin firing off their high-powered assault rifles and declare the beginning of Civil War II these nice folks will be there to greet you with either a bullet (if you don’t look like them) or a cheery gift-basket full of MRE rations, Confederate flags, and Bibles (maybe some tea bags too).

Yup, if you can’t read their banner this is a photo of those brave souls in the Texas branch of The Well Regulated Militia (http://militias.ning.com), or atleast the members that were brave enough to meet other internet militia folks in middle-of-nowhere Texas. The Regulator (Oath Keeper), who keeps popping up on Resistnet and Militia.Ning, posted this proud photo so I assume that’s him standing in the middle with the .44 that would make Charles Bronson run in the other direction. Let’s see who else we got here…

This pictures almost reads like the High School A/V Club’s yearbook photo (except with a lot more guns and illegitimate children). Looks like all the members of The Texas Well Regulated Militia made it out for this photo op though. We’ve got:

The young kid who got dragged to this boring dumb thing by his lame dad

The shotgun wedding couple who decided to bring their 2 year old along so he could play with all the pretty firearms

Some pudgy porker guy whose weapon of choice appears to be a baseball bat or plank of wood

A creepy Sam Elliott look alike who prefers to bludgeon people with guns rather than shoot them

One of the GEICO cavemen (or what I assume is Sam Elliott’s wife)

The token Vietnam vet who prefers historic rifles

The fat goony looking fellow with an AK-47 (Jorts do not provide good camouflage buddy!)

What I can only assume is fat goony guy’s hot sister

Butchy McButcherson (the token closet lesbian of the group)

and some poor old guy who they found sleeping at the bus station (and who continues to sleep while his picture is taken, at least they propped a rifle up against him).

Not pictured: the crystal meth lab

This cheery fellow is apparently part of the group too but I guess he didn’t fit into the photo with his huge gun and all. The following text was included along with the pictures:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)
Do YOU recognize any of these people?

These Texas boys & ladies will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken fried steak.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

American Gladiators – The Movie

[adrotate banner=”1″]Are you serious? I am serious!

Johnny Ferraro, creator of the “American Gladiators” TV franchise, is bringing a live-action adaptation of the property to the bigscreen.

The film will be based on the TV show that first aired in 1988 and has been on the air every year except one during the past 20 years. Most recently, NBC aired a primetime installment in 2008. The show has aired in more than 90 countries, with the format adapted for the local market in 14 of them.

Former Legendary Pictures chief marketing officer Scott Mednick is producing “American Gladiators.” The goal is to create an action story that takes place inside the world Ferraro has created.

“I look forward to creating a compelling story that launches a whole new set of characters,” Mednick said.

gladiatorsamerican

2009 record breaking year for alien visits!

[adrotate banner=”1″]Aliens have been coming to Earth more and more this year, but not out of any good-hearted nature. In fact, man of the aliens don’t even have hearts because they don’t have circulatory systems, but that is a different post. I, Dr. Mobusu, have been monitoring alien visits with great interest, because the occasional capture of alien craft gives great bounties of technology and alien DNA for splicing into new, awesome monsters to terrify my enemies. Recently, it looks like several alien races are competing for influence on Earth among the power elite because they think there will be a big, cataclysmic event soon. Whatever event it may be, it is not anything of mine. Dr. Mobusu is insulted that the event they think will happen is not one of his own, so I will make sure the event fails to come to pass and the Earth is destroyed entirely by Dr. Mobusu-related events! Earthquakes? No. Giant tyrannosaurus rexes with wings attacking Detroit? Yes! Floods? No. Robots who collect human ears? Yes! MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Death to all aliens!

ALIENS PAYING A VISIT ‘EVERY DAY’

By Gemma Wheatley

UFO experts are expecting a “huge surge” in visits from ET this year.

Ministry of Defence specialists reckon a massive increase in UFO sightings in the last few weeks suggests aliens are trying to get in touch with us.

And they predict there could be at least one “close encounter” a day over the next 12 months.

The news comes after these amazing drawings, left, were revealed to the Daily Star. They were made by children who claimed a UFO landed in their school playground.

The children also reported seeing a “scrawny man with rugby ball eyes”. They had never seen pictures or watched images on television of aliens, yet their drawings were all spookily alike.

Nick Pope, who used to run the UFO project at the Ministry of Defence, says he is bombarded with images and videos of UFOs every week.

In the past month he has seen figures almost double as thousands of Brits report sightings across the country.

So far this year the British UFO Research Association (BUFORA) has logged nine reports. Nick has also received reports of 14 incidents since the start of the year.

And he said: “2009 is shaping up to be a record-breaking year. I have noticed a dramatic upsurge of reports since the beginning of the year.

“If I continue to receive reports at the current rate I’ll get one a day, which is likely to exceed the combined total of MoD and BUFORA, most remarkable given that I don’t actively solicit reports.”

The school sighting took place in Zimbabwe in 1994.

About 60 children reported seeing three silver balls in the sky before one of them landed. One of the pupils described the object as “silver and the ring around it was red… lights along the edge”.

Another said he saw strange beings with “astonished eyes”.

None of the teachers saw the “landing” as they were all in a meeting at the time.