Lifetime’s Anna Nicole Smith biopic airs June 29

As I’m sure all of you are eagerly awaiting, the premiere of the Lifetime Network Anna Nicole Smith movie Anna Nicole (formerly The Anna Nicole Story) will air June 29th. Then you can go back to not remembering who Anna Nicole Smith is, like everyone else in the universe. Not that’s I’m saying this is pointless, too late, derivative dreck that has been done before. I even made a joke about the 2007 Anna Nicole Smith biopic Anna Nicole the last time we wrote about this one. That film is awful, this film will maybe be less awful, but the message is:

Uh….

Let me get back to you on the message!

In other Lifetime exploitation news, the Jody Arias film Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret premieres June 22! This is exciting news for Nancy Grace fans and people who have their tv stuck on Lifetime and can’t find the remote.

Based on the disturbing murder trial that has captivated the nation, “Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret” tells the story of Jodi Arias (Tania Raymonde, “Lost”), a seductive 28-year-old aspiring photographer recently found guilty of killing her former lover Travis Alexander (Jesse Lee Soffer, “The Mob Doctor”), who was found nude in his apartment shower with a slit throat, 27 additional stab wounds and a bullet to the head. While investigating the violent killing, Mesa, Arizona, police retrieved a digital camera from Travis’ washing machine, revealing shocking images authorities claim Jodi took of their sexual escapades, as well as during and after his murder. While Jodi pled not guilty and contends she killed Travis in self-defense, police concluded that when Travis broke off his relationship with Jodi, she became a real life “Alex Forrest” (portrayed by Glenn Close) from the film “Fatal Attraction.” Jodi, they say, stalked her ex-boyfriend, who she successfully seduced one final time before murdering him and then attempted to cover her tracks. Her subsequent trial has been grand theater, dominating the cable news networks, with Jodi testifying in her own defense, offering insight into the sex, lies and obsession that led up to Travis’ murder — beguiling media and onlookers, alike.

Remember: this film was finished before she was found guilty of murder, which is the current MO for Lifetime films.

Lifetime

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 23, 2013 at 12:04 pm

Categories: Movie News   Tags: , , ,

Newcomers – filmed in space, but also private space company propaganda!

USS Poop Shield

There is a new film being planned called Newcomers, and it will feature footage shot in outer space filmed on the commercial spacecraft The Lynx (owned by XCOR Aerospace). This space mission will be led by former NASA astronaut Colonel Richard A. Searfoss. The plot details are lacking, but what has been discussed is that Newcomers will be about an alien invasion that is thwarted thanks to the help of a former NASA astronaut and the commercial space industry.

That sounds cool until you remember that it is the commercial space industry that is helping to film the movie! So I gotta call it for what it is, PROPAGANDA! Now, I don’t have any moral conviction against private space missions or vehicles. I do support the government doing space missions and think the switch to contracting out rides to space is a big mistake. And I’m also not the kind of guy who will sit idly by and not call this out for what it is. Newcomers may be a good movie, it may be terrible, it doesn’t even matter at this point. Product placement is not a stranger to big budget films, and there is even times when they drive the plot. There was even a whole slew of right wing agenda-driven films last year, and there will be more this year.

And I will call them out. So Newcomers, consider your cover blown!

via THR
Image is from this so-called privately funded Mars mission, which claims it will use poop for radiation shielding.

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 22, 2013 at 2:47 pm

Categories: Culture Wars, Movie News   Tags: ,

RiffTrax will riff Starship Troopers in theaters nationwide!

Denise Richards Starship Troopers

Remember that RiffTrax Kickstarter that attempted to get the rights to Twilight? (Disclaimer: I donated to that Kickstarter) Well, it didn’t get the rights to Twilight. It did get the rights to Starship Troopers, so on Thursday, August 15th, there will be bugs. Would you like to know more?

Uh… That’s about all the details the email had at this point. Like usual, it will be done live in Nashville and broadcasted throughout the country via the magic of Fanthom Events. There is also no certainty that there will be a digital download available for the broadcast, because the rights for that haven’t been approved yet. But who knows what the future will hold.

It will be interesting seeing the big budget bonanza cheese that is also satire against fascism e dealt with by guys who used to voice robots watching bad movies. Because that is the world we live in, reality!

Remember: The only good bug, is a dead bug!

via RiffTrax

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Posted by Tars Tarkas -  at 2:19 pm

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Deleted Star Trek TNG scenes from The Bonding and remastered DS9 news!

USS honshu

The exciting world of Star Trek remastering is actually really exciting and not just a term I’m using to make it sound more interesting than it is. The discovery of cool not-seen-before deleted scenes thanks to workprints and uncompleted VFXs are archival gold, and new stuff is popping up in unexpected places. TrekCore has posted some deleted scenes from The Bonding, that episode where a kid named Jeremy becomes an orphan when his mom is killed, and so the crew leaves him alone for long periods (right after Picard tells him that “No one is truly alone.”) and then wonders why he’s easily manipulated by the kooky alien of the week. Eventually he and Worf become Klingon blood brothers and he’s never seen again. Luckily the crew becomes much better at dealing with orphan kids several seasons later, when the next one is left alone for long periods and decides to pretend he’s an emotionless android instead of dealing with his grief.

Remember, this is the crew with the magical empath counselor that should have prevented all of this from happening!

In addition, there is news on remastered DS9! It turns out that many of the computer effects artists have much of the assets used to create the shots, including many of the ship models and skins and layouts. The skins were even overly complex considering how much would show up on tv, which helps make them look cool when used for HD work. The image above is an HD render of the DS9 ship USS Honshu from the episode “Waltz“, which just needs an NCC number modification and it’s good to go!

As the article says in summary:

  • Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Voyager are far more challenging to remaster in HD due to their use of CG. Until now, the original assets used to create these CG shots were presumed lost.

  • Through talking to original artists such as Robert Bonchune, I discovered that a large number of the assets still exist for these shows.
  • The scene files can be accessed using current technology relatively easily.
  • A large amount of the work produced originally was over-built and should hold up well when re-rendered in high definition.

TrekCore continues to be the go-to place to find awesome stuff like this.

via TrekCore

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 21, 2013 at 10:51 am

Categories: Misc News   Tags:

Top Dog is a Link!

Godzilla King Kong Kiss
It’s a monster-sized edition to the Links post to celebrate Monster Love and to make up for Monster Laziness! So many good posts you won’t have to go anywhere else the rest of the day except all these places below. And also come back here. And share other links in the comments if you want. It’s a free internet!

As usual, we got lots of cool links from out friends and some movie news that didn’t rate its own post, and then science stuff thrown in for good measure because learning is cool. So be super monster cool and read all this stuff before I get mad!

**Pre-Code takes a dive in The Big Pond!

**Permission To Kill is introduced to The Man From Nowhere!

**It’s A Visual Medium gets animated about Mulan!

**Fist of B-List breaks down The Killing Machine!

**Filmi Geek covers Kannathil muthamittal!

**Turban Decay gets wrapped up in The Mummy!

**Xsmarkthespot talk Harryhausen & Bradbury!

**Trash Film Guru double entendres The Big Snatch!

**Exploder Button ice packs The Snow Devils!

**DTV Connoisseur goes beyond Maximum Force!

**Cinematic Catharsis knows John Dies at the End!

**Comeuppance Reviews gets loud about Silent Assassins!

**FourDK arrests Gaddaar!

**Can’t Stop the Movies has the intel on The Great Gatsby!

**3 Guys sing a song about Cry Baby!

**Free story! From Black Pulp — Drums of the Ogbanje

**The secret laser-toting Soviet satellite that almost was

**Yes, this link goes to the Daily Dot. But it’s not a terrible article, it’s actually good. I was just as surprised as you! The greatest movie that never was

**Check out this 2001: A Space Odyssey Howard Johnsons Children’s Menu!

**Is there a Jodi Arias Lifetime movie in the works? You bet your sweet bippy! If you aren’t Nancy Grace or someone who accidentally watched three seconds of Nancy Grace before the batteries in the remote kicked in and you could change the channel once more, you probably have no idea who Jodi Arias is, so count yourself lucky!

**Speaking of killer women, Women’s Studies is a crazy bad horror film about a killer women’s studies cult. I can’t tell if it is supposed to be a parody or what a MRA guy actually believes. Anyone with NetFlix or Amazon streaming want to check it out?

**Also LOL at this book:
The Feminists Cooper book

**Go Go Girls vs. The Nazis is an upcoming Russ Meyer tribute film spearheaded by Wayne Clingman. Patrick Beck is slated to direct with a screenplay by Ross Bigley. The listed cast includes Melanie Robel, Elvis Thao, Melantha Blackthorne, and Ted Alderman.

This motion picture will include three critical elements to give a true grindhouse feel:

1) Women with big breasts.

2) Nazis being killed.

3) A plot.

More information can be found on the official site.
And here is a promo teaser:

**Huzzah…
A Haunted House 2

**The Gremlins remake is lumbering forward, now produced by Seth Grahame-Smith, the guy who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and the script to Dark Shadows (and rewrites on the Fantastic Four reboot.) Please feed this movie after midnight, but feed it poison!

**Babysitter Massacre sounds like it would be cooler if it was a straight horror movie version of The Babysitters Club instead of a sort of the same.

**Wasp Cystomastacoides kiddo is named after Beatrix Kiddo from Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill.

**These damn Pylopagurus discoidalis hermit crabs just can’t be found alive, except for now when they did. Also they named them The Three Amigos after the film.
three amigos hermit crabs

That’s it until next time, bur remember, keep safe and keep loved!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 16, 2013 at 1:21 pm

Categories: Movie News   Tags: , , , , , ,

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