Go! Godman: Godman vs. Kamoebas and Folgon
This Ninja Turtles reboot sucks…
Godman continues to work his way through all the suits Toho had lying around, and some new suits that were made out of what Toho found at the Goodwill store. March of Godzilla: Godman is proud to present this brief synopsis of the one episode of this story arc that made it to DVD! This week, Godman fights a classic Toho creature, Kamoebas (aka Kameba), from Space Amoeba. Godman also fights Folgon, but he’s just a monster Toho made up for the show, and isn’t even in this episode on the DVD. But we’re all about going above and beyond, so we’ve tracked down this entire story arc to present to you, the people who won’t be reading it and will just look at the photos! If you need a Godman primer, feel free to stop by the Godman Splash Page!
Kamoebas is a turtle, and he does what turtles do, which is stand still and use their shell for defense.
A old couple sees a monster at the beach – it’s Kamoebas! GODMAAAN!!!
Beep beep, back the truck up! Why is Godman being called…by old people? It’s demonstrated in every other episode that children call Godman, there is even an episode where the adults have to have the children call for Godman! So why do these old people get to call Godman? Is there a larger definition of the Godman worshipers beyond children? Is it the children and the elderly? Because I could see that happening. Two groups on extreme ages, working together to call a fighting man from the sky. It’s just weird enough to keep you up at night.
Godman creeps over and sees Kamoebas is just standing there, minding his own business, so Godman bravely attacks!
Kamoebas just stands there. Godman totally punches first. Also second! Then he almost falls over. Godman feels this is somehow an attack by Kamoebas, so now he feels justified in self-defense. It’s interesting to see Godman was the guy who wrote the stand your ground laws.
Godman fights and fights Kamoebas, who barely seems to notice as Godman hurts himself on Kamoebas’ shell. Godman stares at Kamoebas as the episodes jumps to tsuzuku. Now that’s a darn weird ending. But as Folgon is another monster Godman fights that week, maybe Folgon is behind Kamoebas standing still on the shore. This mystery would have had to remain until the rest of the show was located had I just used the one episode on the DVD….
Thanks to the magic of the internet, I found the rest of this episode! Never has the magic of the internet backfired in such fashion as to force me to watch more Godman. Well, except for all that other horrible stuff on the internet. You know what I’m talking about…
So we jump into episode 2, and Godman is preparing to make turtle soup out of poor Kamoebas.
He hugs Kamoebas and they spin around a bit like they are dancing then soon he is throwing ineffective punches and kicks. Godman pulls out his Godmail Flail, and tries to strangle Kamoebas with it! That’s not how flails work, guy!
Eventually he starts beating Kamoebas on the back of his shell with the flail, knocking off chunks of the turtle shell costume (they focus on this like he’s doing the damage on purpose, but RIP Kamoebas costume that was probably already shedding shell scales!)
Godman punches Kamoebas in the back a bit more, then knocks him onto his back and spins him around and around and around and around, then uses his wrist guns to blast Kamoebas in the belly with bullets. Kamoebas slinks back into the sea, regretting getting out of bed and sunning himself on a nice warm rock that morning. Brave Godman, savagely beating up a monster who did nothing, is declaring victory and shouting like a loon.
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