Zone Fighter Episode 20 – Gekitou! Faitaa-no Uta-ga Kikoeru
I’m going to watch this loop all day!
Zone Fighter goes Creepytown with this sorted tale of child abduction, creepy child abductors, creepy children, and children in mortal danger thanks to creepy aliens. Takeru Jou gets kidnapped once again (this seems to be his full-time job on the show), and there are more little boys wearing Japanese short shorts thank you can shake a To Catch a Predator DVD at!
But besides that, Zone Fighter finally has the Garoga do something evil (aside from the random gunning innocent people down) that affects Zone Fighter, and almost makes him change his fighting strategy. Until he remembers being violent will solve the problem regardless.
Goram is one of the cooler-looking Zone Fighter terror-beast monsters, and I say that just because I like monsters with two heads. But he gets a bum break as Zone Fighter continues his murder spree. Poor Goram.
If you need a refresher on who this ultra-violent Toho tokusatsu is and why we should care and why he’s in these March of Godzilla series, drop on by the Zone Fighter Splash Page! And never fear, Godzilla will actually be in the next episode. But first….
AKira and his gang of short shorted little Japanese boys are running around town talking with toy store owners and having that good wholesome fun boys in short shorts have. They’re being followed by another kid in short shorts, who is soon harassed by a creepy old guy with gloves. We all know gloves = Garoga, and soon the creepy old guy is grabbing the kid and Takeru Jou bikes by just in time to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and get kidnapped AGAIN!!!
Seriously, Takeru Jou! Kidnapped again? WTF??
Please note that this Garoga is a Red Garoga that has red stripes on his antenna that make him look like he has candy cane antennas.
Akira knows something is wrong because of his aliens psychis powers, so he ditches his friend sand finds Takeru’s abandoned bike. Hey, ever wonder how these Japanese children have all this time to run around harassing toy store owners when they should be studying for school so they can out-perform America on every academic achievement?
Creepy Old Man Garoga manages to kidnap all of Akira’s friends, because his friends are morons. No wonder they weren’t studying. Keep in mind the Creepy Old Man Garoga has a top hat with a flower on it, a cane, white gloves, a weird mustache, and a bow tie (never trust a man in a bow tie!), yet somehow the children don’t run away in terror. I can only assume they want to be captured by creepy old guys for nefarious means.
Their parents are soon looking for the boys (and doing so by storming around on the sidewalk like they’re in a gang or something), Hikaru and Grandpa Zone encounter them and compare notes, and then a random woman who was probably some producer’s girlfriend tells all of them that a strange man was talking to a bunch of boys, who are the missing boys.
Takeru Jou and the children are all tied up together, and the Garoga declare: death by guillotine! They demonstrate with a mannequin! I’m not sure why they are going to kill them if the need them as hostages, but no one ever said the Garoga were smart.
Akira lets himself be used as bait by sitting along in the park, where the Creepy Old Man Garoga soon shows up (and not wearing gloves, hm…, guess the costumer had to go home early that day!) and Akira willingly goes with him into a house. Hikaru is following close behind, but Akira better watch his own behind!
Hikaru is surrounded by four guards with Goraga machine guns, who all fire at the same time. Hikaru leaps up and away from them, lands, and looks back. Then all four guards die from having shot each other instead of aiming at Hikaru when he was leaping. Garoga. They stupid!
Hikaru is then immediately caught inside via a net and Garoga antenna whip-snares. Good job, Hikaru! Creepy Old Man Garoga berates him, but I’m not really sure the Garoga have any right to boast here, what with the awful performance by the guards out front.
The Zone Parents and Grandpa Zone wait at home as a clock sound is amplified to heighten the tension of them waiting on no news. Actual directorial flourishes???! Masao Minowa brought his A-game for a few scenes, at least!
The Garoga are going to kill Hikaru by guillotine, but he gets free and kills one of the Garoga by guillotine instead! D’oh! Red Garoga tosses a candy cane sword at Hikaru and missing, stabbing another Garoga right through the tummy! D’oh!
The two surviving Garoga flee, and Hikaru transforms and goes in search of them (leaving Takeru Jou unconscious on the floor, but as he’s useless, who cares!) The Garoga are disguised as policemen, and Zone Fighter goes “Fuck the police!” and chases after in the Mighty Liner, but loses them in the fog.
Akira calls Zone Fighter just as the latest monster appears! It’s the two-headed Goram!
Goram sound like the world’s worst Donald Duck impersonator! Never fear, he breathes fire from BOTH HEADS! This allows for double the workplace accidents potential! Goram stomps on Zone Fighter, who hasn’t bothered to grow big yet.
Drama bomb – the missing kids, including Akira, are trapped inside on of Goram’s heads! Finally the Garoga do something evil that works, Zone Fighter can’t fight because he’d hurt his brother and other little kids. Which isn’t that big of a loss (have you seen these kids?), but Zone Fighter needs to defeat the giant monster without hurting them somehow…
Goram can shoot bullets from its chest somehow (I’m not really sure how it worked, but it hurts Zone.) Zone Fighter decides to just start punching Goram, even as the kids scream out “ZONE FIGHTER!” Zone stops for a bit to contemplate, and Goram pulls out a gun (!!) and shoots Zone Fighter!!!
Goram spins his gun and holsters it.
Zone is losing energy fast, because he’s an idiot and can’t figure out to just rip this guy’s head off with his Zone powers. Zone Angel flies in on Smokey to recharge him, dodging Garoga fighters and blasting them out of the sky. Unlike every other episode, instead of Zone Angel using Smokey to zap power back into Zone, this time the tip of the antenna on the top of Zone’s head comes off, and Zone Angel has to fire a new tip from Smokey. This is weird weird weird, and subtextually sexual, and incestuously so since Zone Angel is his sister. She finally aims true and now Zone can beat up Goram some more. Sorry, kids stuck in Goram, you’ll probably be murdered now.
Or maybe not, as Zone rips of the fake head of Goram, and puts it on the ground. It turns to clay, and Zone rips it open, and the kids run and hide. Glad to see that energy transfer also contained some brains, maybe Zone Fighter won’t be so stupid from now on. This is the second episode in a row where ZOne has removed the head of his opponent, which is why him not being brutally violent was unusual.
Goram is less than enthused that his head is now gone, but when you play the Game of Zones, you play for keeps! Fight fight fight! At one point Zone Fighter’s costume catches on fire from all the flames and explosions blasting around, and I hope the stunt actor inside got hazard pay! Goram dies and turns into clay, as Goram is actually Adam from the Bible. Fun fact, kids! Now Zone Fighter is destined for Hell for murdering one of God’s creations.
The rescued children reunite with their parents, everyone is happy, except for the children who really wanted to be kidnapped by a creepy guy, and it’s the end!
This episode gets props for being more disturbing than most, and having the cool kids in the monster’s head thing. But it also loses points for all the freaking short shorts and annoying children.
Rated 7/10 (opening scrawl, random character with lots of lines, tied up, draw, blasting, needs energy, gets energy)
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