Buddha’s Palm (Part 4)
aka 如來神掌(四集) aka The Young Swordsman Lung Kim Fei Part 4 aka 如來神掌(四集大結局)
Written by Sze-To On
Story by Shangguan Hong
Directed by Ling Yun
Hey, it’s Buddha’s Palm Part 4! As you recall from the introductions to Buddha’s Palm Part 1, Buddha’s Palm Part 2, and Buddha’s Palm Part 3, we’re sort of getting burnt out introducing the same thing over again. So let’s pretend this introduction has more exciting information than it actually does. But, seriously, if I did suddenly find new information, I would probably be editing it into the relevant Buddha’s Palm movie.
The adventured we got “To be continued!” on in the last time comes to a close. And it’s really the close of the whole story, except for that whole several more sequels produced years later by different production companies thing. Let’s just forget about that for now, and focus on the current installment. Do we got cool new monsters? YES! Two brand new cool monsters show up for battle. Do they die a horrible death, murdered by our bloodlusting protagonists who can’t let innocent monsters who are minding their own business live? Yes! So “BOOOOOO!!!” to monster murder! Is there magic drawn on effects that show the super wuxia forces at battle? Yes! Is there no stinking subtitles, of which TarsTarkas.NET does not need? Yes! Yes as in no subtitles.
Though this is the end of the Buddha’s Palm Quadrology, don’t worry. There is one more article coming up, and it will be something special. A celebration. But until then, let’s get on with the show!
Last time, on Buddha’s Palm, Master Ku was on the run, stabbed in the back and chased by the evil Three Devils and the evil Auyeung Ho (who are all evil!) Master Ku used his Buddha’s Palm powers to enchant some tripod jars (who I will refer to from here on out as tripots, as it’s a cool pun on tripod and pot and it’s easier to type!) which he then uses to attack his pursuers with.
They battles to the death! Tripots flying, palms blasting, it’s an effectstraviganza!
But….the tripots all drop. Master Ku is frozen in position…because he’s dead! DEAD!!
The lead Three Devils shoves him over, and everyone laughs. Then they see the palm prints on the tripots and realize they’ve become instruction manuals for the different types of Buddha’s Palm techniques! This causes them all to argue about who will get the tripots.
Kau Yuk-kuen attacks! She beats up Auyeung as the Three Devils just watch, then she ganks a tripot and escapes as the Three Devils attack her.
Kau Yuk-kuen finds Lung, her sister, But Ku, and Luk Yu, and tells them that Master Ku is dead. The heroes take the body back home, then notice there is no palm print on the tripot Kau Yuk-kuen stole. This makes them confused. They all go to the Kau home to decide what to do and mourn.
The Three Devils plot to get rid of Auyeung Ho, and Auyeung overhears and grabs two tripots and bolts. The Three Devils are close behind, so he tosses the tripods off a cliff. The Three Devils then blast him and scar up his face!
Oh, irony, getting the same wounds Auyeung mocked Lung Kim-fei for having…
The heroes decide the best course of action is to go outsie the Three Devils house and yell at them. Yeah. The Three Devils come out and demonstrate they’ve already learned some of the more powerful Buddha’s Palm techniques from the tripots. There are lots of shots of people pushing palms at each other and the Three Devils overpower everyone with the palm-pushing. But Ku manages to talk for a long time and convinces the Three Devils to not murder them immediately, and the heroes go home to figure things out.
Their brilliant idea is to ask Lau Piu-piu for help. When they go, she reveals to them that her face is half-deformed like Two-Face! Now we flashback to when she and Suen were both young and someone liked her more than Suen, so Suen blasted her in the face! Because Lau Piu-piu was covering half of her face, that half was saved (though she was only barely covering…) So she won’t help get Suen’s killers. Wasn’t she Suen’s sworn sister or something last film, proving she wasn’t the murderer? Because this tale makes it sound like she really hated Suen.
Let’s get the cure for face blasting so Lau Piu-piu will help! We just need the tongue of a mythical dragon and they eyes of a crimson python to make the cure. Yeah. Good luck with that, Trader Joe’s stopped carrying crimson python eyes months ago! Two quests…
Lung and Yuk-kuen go to where there is a danger marker with skull on top.
They know they are in the right place when they see like a dozen skeletons spralled out everywhere. They finally reach a giant stone skull that is acting as a cave. The jaw drops down and the eyes flash, and inside the mouth is a meditating caveman with skull facepaint.
He’s the 10,000 BC Kiss Army!
They try to talk to him, but he gets sick of their yapping and claps, and out comes his dragon!
Heck yeah! His dragon is a Monoclonius with a beard and hair that screams the Godzilla roar! It’s also clearly two guys in a suit. With the eyes that blink and general makeup, the costume is clearly based on the dancing lion costumes, just modified into a dinosaur.
This is the best movie ever.
Caveman sics the dragon on them! Fight fight fight!
Lung forces the dragon’s mouth open with his dragon rod (again, a monster fight becomes strangely sexual!), while Yuk-kuen slices off the tongue. The dragon bleeds a lot and screams and dies. Caveman is ticked off and comes at them with a glowy hand (that had tattoos appear on it!) Yuk-kuen somehow convinces him to walk with them for a bit. They travel over a deep chasm filled with acid and she tricks him into falling into it. D’oh! He’s skeletonized!
On quest #2, Yuk-wah and Luk Yu ride Kau’s rings down a cliff. There are really loud frogs there. There’s also a giant lizard monster that looks like a giant gila monster crossed with a chinese dragon — it’s the crimson python! And it breaths fire! As a bonus, the two tripots that Auyeung tossed down the cliff are also down here.
Kau Yuk-wah tosses ring around its neck and it chokes and dies. Well, that was easy! THey rip out it’s eye via sword and retreive the tripots.
The Three Devils show up later and find the dead monster in the chasm and the missing tripots, and know what is up.
Lau Piu-Piu has her face fixed!
The Three Devils examine the tripots, but are interrupted by a new guest. Lau Piu-Piu arrives with the Kau sisters…except they’re introduced as dudes and are dressed as such. They’re such handsome men that they catch the eyes of two of the maids at the Three Devils palace, who follow them to the guest room to make smalltalk and demand their names and molest them. Discovered! The sisters shouldn’t have been such handsome men… So the sisters have to smack down these trifling women!
Lau Piu-Piu works the room and distracts the Three Devils and their entourage with a kung fu skills demonstration, while the Kau sisters steal the remaining tripots and mow down anyone in their way. There is a display battle of bell vs palms. A wounded guard comes in to warn Lau Piu-Piu and her friends are up to no good, so she makes the bell huge again for attack. A Three Devil stabs her in the back with the same triple sword from the last film. You think they’d be looking out for that by now…
Lau Piu-Piu runs and like 50 people are chasing her (Part of this scene has a cow just eating grass not giving a crap about the army of people running by it. A cool cow.)
The Kau sisters get rest of pots to Lung. He tries doing the Buddha’s Palm stances in order to unlock the full power…but the last palm print is missing!
Lau Piu-Piu makes it back to the group and gives a speach to the Kau sisters before she dies. The baddies then arrive and start beating everyone up. The heroes are going to lose…until Lung blasts the last tripot and reveals the final palm positions were inside! Now he can do the entire series of stances and gets real ultimate power!
It’s power time! Floating rocks and earthquakes. Two of the Three Devils are swallowed up by the ground (one falls in because the leader stomps on his hands!) The last Devil runs, but runs into the scar-faced Auyeung Ho.
both struggle and fall off a cliff together. There are cliffs everywhere!
Some more sadness as But Ku is dying! BOOO!!! Who will yell real loud when entering a room?
We have a funeral for the fallen, and it’s the end. The real end.
At least until The Furious Buddha’s Palm!
Rated 7/10 (I’m gonna toss some pots, blasted, UFOs!, Skeleton death!, two pots diverged in a yellow wood, palm prints, secret palm prints!)
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