Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 201 – Refugees

Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 201 – Refugees


2001 Official Site
Directed by Rob Caves

It’s Season 2! So don’t be blue. Because this ain’t Avatar. Welcome to season 2. This is the season where Hidden Frontier irons out a few of the kinks, cut down on the ginormous cast, and start streamlining the show into a better product. Just remember the differences of who you were freshman year of college vs. your sophomore year.

So after the review of Season 1, we are all set to go. But there are a few mysteries that happen between the transitions between seasons. First is the Mystery of Commander Joseph Johns, who vanishes. Was he killed by the Grey? Trapped on the Titanic? Locked in a stairwell by his aunt and uncle until he gets a letter from Hogwarts? Who knows!! Okay, I peeked at the Hidden Frontier Wiki and he pops back up a few seasons down the line, but that spoils all my jokes so we’re going to ignore that until he pops up again. There is also mystery of Ensign Amanda Hanley, who is no longer in the opening credits despite never appearing on the show. The Grey strike again! Several other cast members depart during Season 2 as well, and new people join.

We are going to proceed as if you are familiar with the show, as you should be by now. You should all be getting my Dr. Henglaar in-jokes. And if you are expecting video clips, forget it! I had a lot of trouble converting the .mov files into a format I could edit clips out of, because everything I tried either had corrupt frames or dropped audio. Just watch the whole freakin’ episodes, they’re pretty short and it is a better way to spend your time than looking up camel porn on the internet. Mmmm…shaved dromedaries…

Episodes of Hidden Frontier are available online at HiddenFrontier.com. You can also see their other series and participate in their forums.

A new season means we have a new opening credits sequence! Huzzah!


Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed?
Commander Elizabeth Shelby (Risha Denney) – Stop standing in Shelby’s way or I’ll kick your butt! Shelby’s back and being Shelby and stuff.
Dr. Henglaar (John Whiting) – Medical Doctor, Tellarite, and an actual interesting character. Ignore the fact he is wearing a pig nose and Muppet gloves…for now! John Whiting rules. He’s really high on the hog.
Counselor Myra Elbrey (Barbara Clifford) – Betazoid, used to teach at the Academy. Survivor of the Grey attack on the USS Rutledge. Has a dog named Mr. Scott. Occasionally blonde.
Ensign Brad T. Rawling (Tristan Clark) – Ensign Ro’s best friend and lover of alien poontang. Communications officer. Makes bad jokes. Spends a lot of his time hanging out in his quarters with Ensign Ro and getting hammered.
Ensign Jenna McFarland (Adrianne Lange) – Half-Trill, Half-Human, all Navigation. I still don’t know if she has a worm in her belly. Is always there if you need the ship steered. Has amusing stories that she never gets to finish due to the plots developing. Her uncle’s name is Rufus.
Lt. John Martinez (Anthony Diaz) – Chief of Security who looks like a Chief of Security. Thus he is the Chief of Security. I know he does so on the USS Excelsior, but I don’t know if he does so on Deep Space 12 as well. Will eventually wander off in the middle of the season.
Ensign Andrew Barrett (Tyler Bosserman) – Communications officer and brand new member of the third grade! Wooo!! A whole season later and he still has no character development.
Ensign Artim Ibanya (Beau Christian Williams) – Because YOU demanded it, the kid from Star Trek: Insurrection with the CGI mouse is now a grown up main character! Wait, who demanded this? Someone did. And now we got it. His character is not as terrible as you might imagine, which is a shock to me.
Lt. Cmd. James Darwin (Cliff Gardner) – Darwin replaces Joseph Johns in doing whatever the hell it was Joseph Johns did. He’s sort of like an extra first officer for Captain Angry. Darwin was on the old USS Angeles show, so he is another holdover.
Admiral Nechayev (Renee Huberstock) – The best admiral ever is now a semi-main character, appearing in pretty much every episode and yelling at everyone. Renee Huberstock was a day player in several episodes in Season 1, now she has a permanent role, so they’ll need another person to play random background women. Will Captain Angry and Admiral Angry yell at each other? Heck yeah!

Guest Star Roll Call

Princess Illiana (Katie Moss) – Princess Illiana flees her homeworld which is under attack by the Grey, like they are every day for a million years or something. Then they want the Federation to send thousands of ships to defend their big ear culture in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, that will work! Illiana is a Tren’La, which is like a Cobra’La, except not at all. But she does have big ears, so big Spock gets all jealous. But Spock would never admit it, because he’s a Vulcan.
Aris (John Reynolds) – Illiana’s son who becomes friends with Artim and they pal around and become tactical geniuses who save the day. He’s got extra brains in those big ears. Or extra ear wax. That he uses to throw at people. The Ferengi regularly mock his tiny ears.
The Grey (Jason Munoz) – Evil Psychic Space Smurf Jawas. Etherials are the master race, and Jawas are used as foot soldiers. They have a Hive Mind. Remember, Hive Mind=Scary Villain. It’s true, just read any science fiction book ever written.



Deep in the Briar Patch, the Grey are attacking a planet of people with big ears called Tren’la IV so they can eat their brain juice, so the Big Ears send a bunch of fighters to stop them. One fighter is really a ship enabled with a Fold Drive that is going to search for the rumored Federation to ask for help. On board is a kid named Aris and an older woman named Princess Illiana. They dodge Grey fire and prepare to fold into space. I don’t know the name of the ship but I bet it is the Origami! They fold…and we jump to the new, improved, super much better opening credits and effects shots of Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior! Pretty nice. But it still has the Galaxy Quest theme.

On Deep Space 12, Captain Angry will be meeting with Admiral Nechayev later about the request for aid from the refugees who are now staying on Deep Space 12. And Captain Angry has to meet with some kid who was close to Munoz at the academy which makes Angry angry. The kid comes in and we find out it is Artim, the kid from Star Trek: Insurrection, who has since graduated the academy in two years. Captain Knapp gives him an old-school phaser, because someone had that prop lying around so why not write it in? The kid is working on science stuff for the Ba’ku rings, while we find out Munoz is commanding the USS Olympus and thus isn’t on the show any more.


The crew meets with Princess Illiana of the Big Ears, she talks about their space fold technology. They want 1000 ships, which is why the Federation is balking at the request. The Federation tells the Big Ears to go get 1000 of their own ships. Captain Angry sets up Artim to show Princess Illyana’s son Aris around, and to poke around for information about what they know about the Grey.

Meanwhile in someone’s backyard, Dr. Henglaar is gardening while Counselor Elbry and her dog Mr. Scott lounge around. That is all fine and good until Aris and Artim come strolling into the holodeck. I guess there are no locked doors in the future (though this happens on TNG a few times as well.)

We find out the Big Ears are named the Chen-law and have psychic powers thanks to tiny organisms in their bodies and use it to fend off the Grey. So these big eared mo-fos have midichlorians that give them the Force? Are the Grey the Sith? We’re jumping franchises here!

It is time to go visit the planet Ba’ku, which is the local park. We got a lot of location shooting in this episode. Suddenly the two boys see a Grey Wing transport ship parked on the planet. The Grey are going to do some terror attacks. Is this post-9/11? Their ship in orbit has been destroyed, so the kids will steal the Grey ship!

Luckily no one was on the ship!


On the station..a black guy named Mr. Darwin who we haven’t seen before but was in the older series (and will continue to appear in this one) is in ops. There is also a young kid named Ensign Nebanya. A Grey invasion fleet coming in. Admiral Necheyev orders the invasion fleet must be stopped. Like anyone would think she would order it to be invited in with open arms.

Captain Angry goes to super angry mode and prepares to blast some Grey behind! The Starship Troopers soundtrack kicks into high gear as the Federation fleet moves to intercept the Grey The Greys have several Christmas Tree warships and some smaller Arrowhead ships, along with their Tron Disc fighter Wings. Captain Angry channels his rage into launching Federation fighters. The fighters fight with Star Wars sound effects, while Captain Angry prepares some bombs to beam into the bigger Grey ships when their shields go down. But then you also have to drop your shields to transport, and if the Grey are smart…


Actual TIE Fighters for a brief second in the effects! wha?

The big fleet moves in and starts attacking the Grey Christmas trees, but having trouble with their shields like in the previous battles. No one learns. They lose a cruiser, but also nuke a Grey ship. Princess Illiana has the idea for the ships to encircle the Grey ships so they have to rotate their ships, so the Federation does that as listening to random big eared women is a valuable Federation battle tactic. This costs them a Nebula-class ship that was probably captained by Johnny Rico considering the heavy Starship Troopers theme still playing. You want to live forever?

The Grey are too powerful and there are no reinforcements. The the two kids arrive in the stolen Grey wing with a plan, but need the Federation ships to get them close to the Grey command ship. The Grey will never suspect the danger in their own tiny ship that the giant Federation vessels are clearing a path for! They don’t even say their plan and Captain Angry goes with it. Captain Angry is just listening to everyone now instead of his own ideas. I could suggest Captain Angry throw Play-doh at the Grey and he would probably do it.

The Grey now start ramming their fighters. So the Big Grey Christmas Tree loses shields and is going to fold away, but the kids fold their fighter into the middle of the Grey ship, blowing it up. They live because they got into an escape pod! Of course. The lure of 40 virgins is not enough to tempt them to death just yet. Beam the kids back on board and the day is saved. What about all those dozens of other Grey ships? Eh. They all disappeared.

Back to the station, and let’s operate on Princess Illiana who was injured in the battle. Oh, and Rayvan is dead! DEAD!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rayvan (Gregory Allen) – Iconian, pronounced Raven, instead of like Ray-Bands, which is what I though. But then he’d be wearing sunglasses and erasing memories. He should do that, anyway. Remember how the Iconians were extinct? Well, NOW they are!

Dead. Killed by the Grey on the Ba’ku planet while saving everyone else in a battle we never saw. Captain Angry laments “I feel as if I hardly knew him.” I feel ya, brother. The hundreds of deaths in the battle don’t bother Captain Angry at all, but Rayvan’s does. He was only in two episodes!

Princess Illyana is well, but her and son are trapped here until they can replicate the fold technology. But don’t worry, Artim and Aris are friends forever! And they never share a scene together for the rest of the season, but Friends Forever!

Rated 6/10 (24th century glass cups…of the FUTURE!, Garden Trows…of the FUTURE!, Federation fighters, Grey fighters, ID4 shields?, Ker-blammo!)


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Written by Tars Tarkas

Tars Tarkas

Runs this joint!