Agon the Atomic Dragon
aka Maboroshi no Daikaiju Agon
Directed by Norio Mine and Fuminori Ohashi
Agon the Atomic Dragon began as a 1964 TV miniseries Maboroshi no Daikaiju Agon (Giant Phantom Monster Agon) produced by Nippon Denpa Eiga (Japan Radio Pictures), but a four year argument with the sponsors of the show delayed it airing until 1968. The four shows were combined into a movie in the 1990s, and that is where most Western audiences became familiar with it.
The four episodes are titled:
Agon Appears – Part 1
Agon Appears – Part 2
A Dangerous Situation – Part 1
A Dangerous Situation – Part 2
The Agon monster suit was created by Fuminori Ohashi, a protégé of Eiji Tsuburaya. The suit was modified with sabretooth fangs and resurfaced on the first episode of The Space Giants as Dinosaur, and was then brought back as Aron for episodes 13-16. And that is the end of Agon. More information here.
Agon was released on dvd in Japan, so swim to Japan and pick up a copy. Or order it from the internet. Or if you are in Japan, then just go to the local DVD store and head past the many many many aisles of anime porn until you reach the giant monster rows and it should be there. Somewhere.
It was a dark and stormy night. A jeep is crushed. A newspaper dude is sent to cover the story. Okay, not the jeep story, a different story about an accident. He is reporter Goro, and he arrives at the scene of an accident where Detective Yamato and Professor Ukyo already are. There is a scary cave making scary noises, so people are scared. Goro just marches right into the cave because he has a lack of common sense. The other laugh at him…until he starts screaming! But the mysterious light inside is just a small boy named Monta with a flashlight. You dumb kid, you better not be a damn Kenny!
But then, more noise in the ocean…it better not be a second Kenny kid! Nope, it is a giant freaking radioactive monster who looks like a certain -zilla except he has no spines! Newspapers trip over themselves in an attempt to publish extra editions.
Goro and Yamato go on a drive, but are stopped by a dog who is sitting in the middle of the road and won’t move. That’s not a smart thing for a doggy to do. A girl named Satsuki Shizukawa teases Goro, then the dog moves and lets them drive on. They continue to the Atomic Energy Center to meet with Professor Ukyo about the monster. Professor Ukyo has named it Agon, short for Atomic Dragon. Satsuki Shizukawa is also there, for she is Professor Ukyo’s assistant. Of course she is.
DANGER!! Agon pops out of the ocean and splashes people. RUN! Satsuki falls, because girls always fall in horror movies. Then manages to get a tree falling on her hurt leg! What are the odds? Agon tears up the forest because he hates trees. His dad was killed on Arbor Day by a treehugger. After the forest is ripped up, we get lots of shots of Japanese people running aimlessly in the city as alarms blare. Standard fare in daikaiju movies, and this miniseries is no exception. Agon cracks open the earth and Satsuki drops in.
Episode One comes to a close.
Episode 2 – The Wrath of Kenny
More Japanese people run…hey, these are the same people running as last time! BOOOO!
Goro and Detective Yamato go back and save Satsuki, and Agon rampages. He smashes buildings and does other daikaiju stuff. Agon breaks the nuclear reactor – which looks like a weird 1950’s computer in a big sphere. Goro checking in on Satsuki at the hospital, which causes him to miss the UN conference held in Japan to deal with the crisis, so he is late.
Professor tells the story of how Agon was awakened by underwater atomic blasts and stuff. Haven’t they learned? Oh, wait, this is the 1960s, they haven’t learned yet but will later after so many monsters destroy Japan over and over again. Japan is like the village bicycle of monster attacks. Because Japan is a slore.
The army sets up an ambush – Tanks! Jets! Soldiers! Stock Footage! Annoying kid Monta and his dad are in a crappy fishing boat out looking. Agon is spotted! The stock footage closes in… Agon can now breath fire (actual fire) and hits at least one jet. Agon keeps getting pounded by weapons fire, but closes in on shore.
Now Agon is somehow back in the ocean and smashes a lighthouse that makes noise. Is this Ray Bradbury’s The Foghorn, basis of The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms, which inspired Godzilla? Because we’ve just hit full circle if true!
They try to crash a truck into Agon, but a big fail as they fail. Agon carries the truck away.
End of Part 2
Episode 3 – Revenge of the Sith
A boat capsizes, two guys on it get to shore and a boater’s house (they have a gun they hide) he warms them up and takes them out next day, he dives (is the family a bunch of pearl divers?) down to get something.
AGON is there! (AGON! doesn’t have the same ring as GOJIRA!! )
Goro and Satsuki are fishing in the ocean, when annoying kid Monta comes up. His dad is the diver! Now annoying kid Monta is captured by bad guys as well. Goro doesn’t seem to notice that Monta and his dad are under armed threat and is friendly and leaves. Goro, you knucklehead!
The bad guys break into atomic lab and steal a giant uranium rod (which is held bare-handed) and single(!) guard easily KOed. Diver dad tells Goro of kidnapping secretly. Goro’s slow, rusty wheels in his head begin to move a tad and he realizes what is up. Goro sees the fisherman’s boat and thus follows it. He tries to free the family but a gun is pulled on him. The detective saves Goro again, but now Agon is rising out of the deep.
Annoying kid Monta was on the boat during all of this, and is too stupid to jump out and run, so now he floats out into the ocean. Right where Agon is. Kill him! Agon clamps onto the boat with his jaws. How dumb is this kid? He still ain’t running, hiding your face like that will make Agon go away, sure kid.
Agon stomps on shore with the boat in his mouth..
Tsuzuku!?! I though I was done with tsuzuku at the end of Godzilla Island!
Episode 4 – A New Hope That Manta will be killled!
Kill the Kenny! Kill him, kill him, kill him! I don’t even think he was that annoying, I just want to see a Kenny die for once! Die, die, DIE! Death to all Kennys. Agon just stands there like a statue with the boat containing Manta in his mouth, so a helicopter is flown in. It drops a ladder, and a guy climbs down slowly. But Agon swats him and chopper down.
Agon starts stomping the city. Monsters sure hate power plants and oil refineries. Agon still has that stupid boat in his mouth, so he can’t spit fire. Another helicopter with a dangly thing lures Agon near a hill, and gets him to drop the boat. How cute, Agon just wants to play! He’s like a big kid. Speaking of kids, that stupid kid Manta ain’t dead so he is rescued. They open the suitcase the crooks wanted and find out what was inside…cocaine!
Somehow the two crook idiots get caught on the tail of Agon and now are being dragged around by him. They get off, and hijack a helicopter that was to have the drugs in it, take off, and even taunt Agon! Agon gets ticked off, smashes the helicopter and flames it. But the helicopter has monster poison/tranq/something that makes Agon woozy. Maybe it was the cocaine?
Agon also stomps through another oil refinery, gets fire all over himself, and wanders back to sea. How many oil refineries are in Japan? Just what are they planning with all these oil refineries? If I was China or Pearl Harbor, I would be on the look out.
Agon is a wimp! Godzilla would kick his butt. The narrator says some stuff, and we end!
Agon the atomic dragon lived by the sea. He totally sucked and couldn’t kill kids, good riddance to thee! Peter, Paul, and Mary picked the right dragon to sing about.
Rated 5/10 (I label my flashlights, women always fall, balls of power, tiny gun, riding the big tail!)
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