Super Ninja Doll (Review)
Super Ninja Doll
Super Ninja Doll premiered on cable TV under the title Super Ninja Bikini Babes, but we will be calling it Super Ninja Doll because that is the title that we first were introduced to it as on the Retromedia message board. Director Fred Olen Ray has crafted a mix of cult movie/Japanese comics with softcore elements, resulting in a great film that is both entertaining and memorable. Fred Olen Ray shoots these films several at a time, oftentimes reusing the same sets and actors. (Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle is one of the others shot with this one.) The problem with a lot of softcore fare is it blends together an becomes unmemorable. Stuff you catch late at night on Skinimax or Showtime, then forget about as the next night something completely different is on. These types of softcore movies have been given the name Erotic Parodies, which fits as they have names like The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I., The Erotic Dreams of Jeannie, and Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes. As Super Ninja Doll is not yet on DVD (as of when I wrote this), the screen captures are taken from a TV broadcast (thus the alternate title screen), but they look better than our previous TV captures because the screenshots weren’t taken off of a VHS tape of the movie.
The evil Gorath and Tantella plan to invade the planet Earth, with help of a cosmic storm that will create a vortex allowing passage to our world. They will kidnap many of Earth’s greatest minds/scientists because that will help them invade, somehow. Before Gorath can invade, he must recharge his energy. With sex. With a sex droid! Thus, we get a sex scene! A porn star known as Jassie plays the part of the sex droid.
On the planet known as Earth– Eriko is reading comic in class, not paying attention to anything. Eriko goes to one of those colleges where everyone wears short catholic schoolgirl uniforms. You know the ones. Her college professor Talbot (Michael Gaglio) asks to speak with her in his office. He has access to her full grades for some reason, and is concerned because they aren’t very good. So he tells her to do an extra credit research report on cosmic storm. Fellow student Kimmy (porn star Kitty Jung) then walks up to Eriko, who explains the Super Ninja Doll comic, and now it’s lesbian time. As I am not a big fan of Kitty Jung (Evelyn Lin fan) we will jump to the next sequence.
Gorath comes to Earth via the Super Ninja Doll comic Talbot confiscated and threw in the trash. Gorath visits the amnesiac Megan Rhodes in hospital. She is to be captured, but first Gorath uses her to recharge. By sex. Then he sucks her into the comic.
Eriko hears and sees Megan in her copy of the Super Ninja Doll comic, faints, and dreams Super Ninja Doll gives her magic wand that will turn her into Super Ninja Doll. Eriko is naked in this dream, because this movie is awesome. And Eriko is told she should put out to gain more power. And protect the scientists, but mostly put out.
after dream, has rod!
Eriko heads where everyone should go, the Bureau of Scientific Strangeness! After telling the story to Agent Canola (Ted Newsom) and Mr. Fort (Daniel Patrick), she turns into Super Ninja Doll. Canola and Fort tell her about one last scientist who is not missing – Marsha Applebee, and Super Ninja Doll flies off to protect her. Gorath and Tantella watch Super Ninja Doll fly from their dimension. She must be stopped, but Gorath needs more power to beat Super Ninja Doll – so sex with Tantella is had!
Eriko enters house of Marsha Applebee, only to be stopped by her boyfriend Jim. Eventually he lets her go see Marsha, who is bathing, because this is all a plot to get some lesbian action going on. It works amazingly well. The best scene in the movie is here between those two, and then Jim joins in on the action as well.
On the way back to the Bureau of Scientific Strangeness they are ambushed as Tantella and Gorath appear outside, ready to capture. Eriko turns back into Super Ninja Doll, and a battle breaks out. A battle of firing electric balls at each other. Gorath hits Super Ninja Doll, and she is down for the count.
Everyone is taken back to the Comic Book Dimension, where Marsha is put in the Brainalyzer (a room) and Jim is used by Tantella to recharge her energy. By sex. Which they have.
Super Ninja Doll is chained up, topless. Gorath tries to torture her with a device, but it deactivates after a few seconds. He goes to get something more powerful from under his bed. The Orgasmator! It looks like what you think it looks like, only more orgasmotronic! But Super Ninja Doll blasts him with eye weapons, then escapes (and manages to rematerialize her costume as well.) Super Ninja Doll zaps Gorath and Tantella, turning them three inches tall. They run off, but vow revenge. Tiny revenge. Super Ninja Doll sends Marsha and Jim home, promises to release the rest of the scientists, and escapes from Tantella’s base as it is about to explode. All bases of evil people explode when they are defeated, it is the rule.
Wait, it is all a dream!
Until the sequel. Please have a sequel. I demand more Super Ninja Doll! Super Ninja Doll was enjoyed both by myself and by my wife, and that can be hard to find. One of the best of the recent erotic parodies. Entertaining enough to be watched by itself, yet also contains the necessary ingredients for 13-year-old boys sneaking cable after their parents are asleep.
Rated 9/10 (Jassie, Kitty, Zappy, Thingy, Jewely, Super Ninja Dolly, Globy, Screeny, Roddy)
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