The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man
2003
Directed by Rolfe Kanefsky
An out of work actor becomes invisible, and erotic hijinks ensue in the butterscotch-scented Erotic misadventures of the Invisible Man. Based on comic books by Milo Manara entitled Butterscotch, they were made into six films with three directors (two films each, possibly to be divided up into half-hour segments.) The only one released at the time of this writing is Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man, so that’s the one we are doing. Two versions of the film exist, the unrated version we are going through, and an R-rated version with added footage from the other, unreleased companion film Rolfe directed. Director Rolfe Kanefsky was previously encountered here with Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle in Paradise, another skinimax movie which was made from what was intended to be half-hour shows. The concept of an invisible man has been used in dozens of films, and originated in popular science fiction form with HG Wells’s 1897 novel.
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We open and stock shots tell us it is Hollywood that we will start in. Actor Norman Parent has an audition that he is less than thrilled to be trying out for. He is even less thrilled when he sees his girlfriend Rachel cheating on him with a long-haired dude named Buck. He’s Buck and he likes to….surf. And have sex with other dudes’ chicks. Poor Norman. At least he has a paying job later that night as a caterer, along with his friend Paul.
The catering job later is at producer Frederick Wolf’s house, but the evil Mr. Julian Morris is on the case of the waiters Norman and Paul to get to work. Norman is still in shock over Rachel, and is sent to the cellar to get some champagne. Down there he witnesses our first sex scene, which is a producer named Robert Bull “auditioning” an actress, Becky Lovey. Norman flashes to a fantasy of him and Rachel in the cellar, so the two sex scenes begin to intersperse….until she hits him over the head with a bottle and starts sexing up Buck! Don’t you hate it when good fantasies go bad?
Norman ducks into room filled with old memorabilia, and it also has female human named Kelli Parkinson in there as well. He finally notices her after looking over the invisibility formula from an old movie. She was trapped downstairs by the sexing couple as well. The pair introduce each other clumsily, but then Julian Morris walks in and fires Norman. Kelli leaves to try to get Norman’s job back, and Norman throws a book in disgust and hits the jug of invisibility formula. The jug spills all over him due to his clumsiness.
He’s invisible! Time for some erotic misadventures!
Upstairs, dinner is served and invisible Norman walks through the meal serving area. He asks Paul for the car keys, but as Julian Morris is still being a giant jerk, Norman decides it is time for some prank revenge, invisible man style! After some “shove around” pranks, Kelli notices a butterscotch smell and begins to fantasize. It’s the erotic olympics! Yes, and contestants Rachel and Buck will soon get schooled by Norman and Kelli. Wait a minute, why is Kelli having this fantasy? Oh, never mind. We get some long sex scenes here,, with Rachel getting angrier and angrier because her man Buck can’t live up to Norman. All of this is commented on b two never-scene announcers, and three judges sit just to the right of the beds to give scores to the performers. Buck’s bad movers and quick finish lead to low scores, while Norman’s stellar performance earns top marks, and he even goes for bonus points by turning invisible and going for round two.
we return from our sexual interlude to bring you more hijinks of naked guys at a dinner party. Julian Morris gets forced to shove women’s faces into food and Paul gets fired just because. This entertains the female actress who was having sex earlier and she decides to get naked just because. In addition, sleazy agent-Robert makes some moves on Kelli who drops him like he’s hot and storms out. Norman drags Paul to the car, and Kelli hitches a ride (after an argument between invisible Norman and Paul makes her think Paul is a bit off.) Norman tells Kelli that he is invisible and says he’ll explain how, except he doesn’t as we’ll see soon.
Back at the producer’s house, sleazy agent Robert Bull finds the invisible mess so we know he’ll be invisible. Back at Paul’s place, Norman explains everything, which proves he didn’t explain earlier and I am not a liar. Paul has no working shower, so Kelli says she has a shower at her place. Yes, someone will be getting lucky. Invisible lucky. They drive, park, and then walk through part of downtown LA while invisible Norman makes sarcastic remarks at passerbys who don’t react because it was dubbed in post.
Kelli lives with Madam Linda Nirvana, who does sex psychic stuff (and is having sex with a guy to make him fertile as they walk in.) How convenient for added sex scenes. Norman grabs some chocolates from downstairs and goes to the shower, leaving one of the chocolates behind. Kelli eats it, and then we find out that the chocolates are filled with a spell to make women horny. In other words they are just regular milk duds! Kelly undresses and begins loving the pillow, single horny girl style! Norman exits the shower and is soon involved in invisible man sex, which is just Kelli grabbing in midair and writhing around. For those of you who want to see guys’ butts don’t worry, as it is interspersed with more sex shots of Madam Nirvana and her client.
Oh, it’s time to go to England! Why the Hell not? Madam Nirvana has a cousin in England who is having trouble with a poltergeist, so she must go to help him. Kelli will go as well, and they will sneak Norman on the plane. Because planes aren’t so overcrowded that there is no room or anything. Also, it is great that Norman has no aversion to being cold all the time from being naked and invisible. Cue England stock shots to save valuable budget. As they are stuck in traffic in “England” with a driver who curses at other cars, we but back to evil agent Robert Bull who is invisible like we knew he was. Robert Bull gets a call that the director wants to meet Kelli Parkinson, but as her answering machine message fires Robert Bull he gets insanely mad. His quest for revenge is put on the backburner for a few when his client Becky Lovely and her European model friend come in to see him. They can’t, of course, and soon he is molesting them while they think each other is doing it. That leads to some lesbian sex, like it would in real life. The girls are so into the lesbian sex they don’t notice the invisible guy putting his invisible penis in their vaginas.
In England, the ghost brother of Madam Nirvana is sick of the ghost of his butler cleaning their house 24/7. Their problem is a ghost who cleans. Okay. Before Madam Nirvana goes all ghostbusters on the butler, Norman and Kelli are walking downtown and get insulted by a mime when Norman was pinching Kelli. Mimes are the most horrible thing on the planet, even worse than clowns. This movie gains dozens of bonus points because Norman spends the next few moments beating the tar out of a mime! Take that, mimes! I had to put up with you before, but now I got an invisible guy on my side! Stupid mimes.
A séance later shows us the ghostly butler refuses to leave the house. Madam Nirvana figures out the only thing to do is to have a big orgy which will offend his English sensibilities enough that he will resign. Aphrodisiacs are passed out, and suddenly Madam Nirvana’s cousin and his wife get all aroused. Invisible Norman and Kelli join in, and soon Kelli is banging Madam Nirvana’s cousin while Norman gets the wife. And for your almost-incestural interests, Madam Nirvana has her arms around and is caressing her cousin while he’s having sex with a woman who is not his wife. Exciting stuff, and the butler promptly resigns.
The international travel continues as Kelli is called to Italy for a screen test for a part in a movie. This gets us more stock shots to fill time. She goes in to meet the director by herself, sending Norman away for a while.
Suddenly we are in a completely different movie where a woman is morning over her just dead lover, who is already in a coffin in a graveyard at night. He comes back to life, and they start having sex on the floor of the graveyard. The sex continues even when an extra pair of hands pop through the earth and grab the girl’s breasts. Suddenly, someone calls “cut” and we find out that this is a movie. The director doesn’t believe their passion and goes on a rant about how they should view the tombs as erections and the caskets as wombs. His assistant has the worst fake Italian accent ever put on film, and then the director tells the actress to make love to the wind. The wind just happens to be invisible Norman, and we get another solo sex scene.
Later Norman blown off by Kelli who goes out to see the sights with the director. Norman assumes he was dumped, but a call to Paul convinces him he should prove to Kelli what kind of man he is. Evil Invisible Agent Robert Bull arrives in Italy in full Invisible Man garb of wraps, trenchcoat, goggles, and hat. He gets rejected at a full hotel by the front desk lady, but he soon returns invisible to scare away reservation-having guests. The front desk attendant gets turned on by the ghost molestation and we get a whole long sex scene out of it! Luckily no one else comes to check in or out of the hotel during the time.
At the restaurant Kelli and the Director are at, Norman goes into the bathroom to rehearse what to say. Also entering the bar are several of the cast members and the director from the vampire picture, because that’s more efficient than hiring extras. Dancing begins, and Kelli tells the director she isn’t going to sleep with him, and he says she got the part anyway. But Robert Bull arrives and starts messing with the director and with Kelli, evil invisible agent style. Kelli assumes it is Norman, who is still in the rest room. He hears her yelling his name and rushes out, only to get slapped by her. She then finds out that he isn’t the invisible man currently pawing her, as Robert Bull tells her who he is. Norman gets up and soon we have two invisible men fighting. It’s action packed and great choreography, however we can’t see any of it because the men are invisible! Now, Hollow Man II beat them in the release category, but this film was filmed first, so it is the true winner of invisible man vs. invisible man action. Evil Robert Bull manages to get a sack of flour dropped on him and now is visible, which allows him to be kicked in his lil’ invisible man.
Kelli takes the injured Norman back to the hotel to tend his wounds and give us another sex scene, the ultimate one for the film, which then pretty much just ends. Once again, this is part of a set so that’s why there isn’t much of a resolution. Maybe the rest of the films will see the light of day soon.
The film is okay, but is not super-spectacular, and serves only as an erotic parody, not something that you would watch with your wife as a romantic time. But as it doesn’t claim to be anything like that, all is good. I liked it, but I probably won’t go out of my way to watch it again.
Also, mimes suck.
Rated 4/10 (Ray Gun, familiar prop, three rating, invisible phone call)
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Here is the duck joke:
A duck walks into a bar and says “Do you have any duck food?”
The bartender says “No” and the duck leaves.
The duck comes back the next day and says “Do you have any duck food?”
The bartender says “No” and the duck leaves.
The duck comes back the next day and says “Do you have any duck
food?” The bartender says “I’ve already told you ‘No’ twice! If you
come back and ask for duck food again, I’m going to nail your feet to the floor!”
The duck comes back the next day and says “Do you have any nails?”
The bartender says “No.”
“Do you have any duck food?”