Roundhay Garden Scene
Roundhay Garden Scene is one of those movies that you hear about but just need to experience. It is a visual sensation unlike any other. Oh, wait, no it’s not, it is just some people walking around for two seconds. However, as it is the earliest film made, it has a place in history that no other film can match. That will not save it from getting its just desserts here on TarsTarkas.NET!
Some people think I’m crazy for going after a 119-year-old film with no sound. “It’s the first film made, cut it some slack!” they insist. Well, they’re wrong, why should it get a free pass just because no one knew what they were doing back then? They should have known better! Director Louis Aimé Augustin Le Prince should have considered his role in cinematic history, and the fact that generations later we would still have to look at the mess he made! Garbage, complete garbage! Where is the plot? The characterizations? The color? The sound? The length beyond two seconds? Is this what passed for entertainment in 1888, right before you died of the pocks or consumption? Well, those ragamuffins and mudsill who spend their coppers to see some moving pictures deserve better. Maybe someone should use an Arkansas toothpick to give someone Jesse, which would add some excitement to the film. That would make it a huckleberry above a persimmon, instead folks are likely to go to the quilting bee or the husking frolic.
Sorry for slipping into 19th century slang there for a moment, feel free to Google those terms to find out I wasn’t just honey-fuggling you with nonsense vocabulary. So the film is basically just Adolphe Le Prince walking while Sarah, Joseph, and Harriet mill about in the background. Filmed on October 14th, 1888, it was recorded on 1885 Eastman Kodak paper base photographic film with Le Prince’s single-lens combi camera-projector. The original film does not survive, all current prints are copies made around 1930, so this is like a second generation VHS dub. Bootleg city. Not that I would ever do that.
Le Prince’s disappearance pretty much set the stage for Edison to become the only person people think of when they think of who invented the movies. It is very suspicious. One would think Edison invented the first light bulb just so he could have it flash on above his head as he got the idea to have Le Prince have an “accident.” All the mysterious deaths surrounding this film is just proof that the movie industry was created morally bankrupt, and it’s been downhill from there!
That’s it, it is history, and we are all better for it. Without Roundhay Garden Scene we wouldn’t have Casablanca. We wouldn’t have The Marx Brothers. We wouldn’t have King Kong. We wouldn’t have Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. We wouldn’t have Catman in Boxers Blow. Damn you, Le Prince!
Director Le Prince went on to make Leeds Bridge, which was a failure at the box office and began the movie slump of 1888. The MPAA blamed internet downloaders and their iKinetoscopes.
Thanks to the magic of public domain, you can watch this classic film in its entirety!
And when you’re done with that, check out all these neat remixes done by the Something Awful Forums! Roundhay Garden Scene Deleted Scenes
Rated 4/10 (Roundhay, Garden, Scene, 1888)
Return of the Ghostbusters
Directed by Hank Braxtan
The Ghostbusters are back, and they’re now in fan film form! Wait a minute…. A Ghostbusters fan film? Feature length? That’s crazy! What’s even crazier is it is a sequel! The original production was a half-hour fan film entitled Freddy Vs Ghostbusters, and that spawned this stand-alone sequel that attempts to remain true to the themes of the original Ghostbusters films while still trying to be not a carbon copy. Now, as this is a fan film, we can expect some of the acting to be a bit off. I won’t focus on wooden performances, but if someone is so bad they actually make it painful to watch their scenes I am going to point them out, because that’s what I do: be a jerk on the internet. But back off, man, I’m a scientist. Really, I am, which is great because I can use that line ironically and nonironically at the same time.
The film was produced by
I am a fan of the Ghostbusters franchise. I grew up with the films, I watched the cartoon, I drank the Hi-C, I own some Ghostbusters kids books. When the movie was released on DVD I rented it to watch the commentary, and my roommate at the time had never seen the film, so we watched it regularly. He was from China, and didn’t understand the term “ghostbuster” which wasn’t in his dictionary, but I explained what was going on and he enjoyed it.
We’ve had a fan film here before (Star Wars: Revelations) and will have some more later, but for now this Ghostbusters fan film is our focus. So whip out your Ecto Cooler, leash up your class-5 full roaming vapors, and prepare for a ride into fanfilm land with the Ghostbusters! Just remember not to cross the streams.
The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man
Directed by Rolfe Kanefsky
An out of work actor becomes invisible, and erotic hijinks ensue in the butterscotch-scented Erotic misadventures of the Invisible Man. Based on comic books by Milo Manara entitled Butterscotch, they were made into six films with three directors (two films each, possibly to be divided up into half-hour segments.) The only one released at the time of this writing is Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man, so that’s the one we are doing. Two versions of the film exist, the unrated version we are going through, and an R-rated version with added footage from the other, unreleased companion film Rolfe directed. Director Rolfe Kanefsky was previously encountered here with Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle in Paradise, another skinimax movie which was made from what was intended to be half-hour shows. The concept of an invisible man has been used in dozens of films, and originated in popular science fiction form with HG Wells’s 1897 novel.